Gina sauntered down the hall to Fenny’s hotel room and knocked on the door. Fenny answered it with her hair dripping on her sweater. “I didn’t expect to see you for a while,” Fenny grinned. “I mean, I thought you’d be making up for when your application to join the mile high club was rejected…”

“You’re strange,” Gina announced, and plopped down on the bed as Fenny took to her hair with the towel again.

“So how’d you get out of Pauly’s clutches?”

“Oh, he got a call from, I dunno, someone important,” Gina shrugged, “and he’s got a meeting with a publicist or something.”

“Such an attentive wife you are,” Fenny laughed.

“You ever tried keeping track of your—sorry.” Gina frowned at herself.

“You’re right,” Fenny said as she disappeared into the bathroom for a moment, “they’re impossible to keep track of. The life of an actor is abnormally complicated.” She pulled her hairbrush through her tangles and leaned against the dresser. “So, what’re we gonna do, two insane women let loose on Melbourne?”

“We could go to the casino,” Gina suggested.

“Like hell,” Fenny giggled. “Ooh, we could burn down the casino!”

“Can you imagine Paul calling up your parents back in California explaining to them we’ve been arrested for arson?” Gina laughed.

“You’re right, too traumatic for my folks,” Fenny agreed. “So, what’s the plan of action?”

“What’s the first thing any sensible females do when arriving in a new town?” Gina asked. “We go shopping.”

“Brilliant,” Fenny smiled.

“Brad, your kid’s crying again,” Greg groaned in the direction of the kitchen.

“Would you grab her for me?” Brad called back.

“Came here trying to get laid,” Greg murmured to himself as he wandered into the bedroom, “and I’m stuck babysitting for my friend’s daughter I didn’t know existed….” He picked Lilly up and held her to his shoulder. She stopped wailing and grabbed hold of his glasses as they wandered back into the living room. “Give me those,” he grimaced, grabbing hold of the nose piece as she slobbered on the black frames.

“She likes you,” Brad announced with a smile as Greg handed Lilly over to her father.

“She likes chewing on my stuff.” Greg wandered into the kitchen to clean off his specs before daring to put them on again. “Why was she crying, did I fix her?”

“Lilly gets lonely sometimes,” Brad said as he lifted her into the air. She giggled gleefully and kicked her feet. “She doesn’t like it when she’s not the center of attention.”

“Gee, wonder where she got that from,” Greg mused as he plopped back on the sofa.

“Hand me the diaper bag, would you?” Brad said as he noticed Lilly reaching for the remote control on the arm of the couch.

With a roll of his eyes, Greg leaned over, grabbed the bag and dropped it between him and Brad on the couch. With one hand Brad dug to the bottom and pulled out a ring of plastic keys for her to play with instead. “Rats,” he sighed. “Almost out of diapers, I could’ve sworn there were more in here.”

“That sounds like my cue to leave,” Greg sighed and got up quickly.

“No, wait, come with us to the grocery store.”

“What?” Greg gasped. “Why?”

“You can watch Lilly for me when I run in.”

“Why can’t I watch her from here?”

“You’re sure you wanna be left alone with her?” Brad asked with an eyebrow raised in amusement. “I mean, she might dirty another diaper.”

“Well why can’t you take the kid into the store?” Greg demanded, obviously not pleased with the idea of another changing.

“I read somewhere that it’s not a good environment for a baby,” Brad announced.

“What, like the shoplifting sensors are gonna numb out her brain or something?” Greg asked incredulously. “I thought it was good to socialize your kid. What does her mother do when she goes shopping?”

“I watch her.”

“You are a seriously twisted family, dude.”

“Well she’s too small to fit in the cart anyway,” Brad announced. “It won’t kill you to keep an eye on her.”

“It just might,” Greg frowned.

“So, how do you like Australia this time around?” Gina asked as they wandered through the video store.

“I’m confused by your movies,” Fenny mused, then looked up at Gina. “Have you noticed how little time I’ve spent in this country being happy?”

“You had some happy moments,” Gina announced, then realized most of them revolved around sex with Brad, and decided that listing them off was probably not the best of ideas. “Oh, you met Paul here.”

“Yes I did,” Fenny smiled. “I dunno, this place isn’t too bad when you’re not running for your life. I like LoCal better though.”

“You would,” Gina teased as she continued to rifle through the videos in the hopes of finding something worthwhile.

“Oh, look,” Fenny frowned. “It’s Blazing Saddles.”

“And?”

“Hmm.” She put it back on the shelf. “That was the first movie Brad and I saw together. One of our first dates.”

“Come on, Fen,” Gina sighed, “you’re supposed to be clearing your head here.”

“Right. Who needs movies, right?” Fenny perked.

“Come on,” Brad said to Greg as he stepped out of the car.

“I thought I was staying here, watching the shrimp.”

“It’s too hot in the car,” Brad chided and opened the back door to get Lilly out of her car seat.

“Yeah, but it’s windy outside,” Greg declared.

“What, afraid of getting your hair messed up?” Brad laughed. “You’re such a pansy.”

With a huff, Greg got out of the car, slammed the door, and followed Brad to the entrance of Ralphs.

“Here,” Brad smiled, and handed Lilly over to Greg. She instantly went for his glasses again.

“So I just stand here till you’re done?”

“I’ll be in and out in five minutes,” Brad assured him. “Just gotta get some diapers and some formula.”

“Just hurry,” Greg grumbled as Brad disappeared into the store. Greg repositioned Lilly so she couldn’t get to his glasses and bounced her on his hip as he started to pace outside the grocery store.

After what could have been a minute or three hours, a kind-looking old woman approached him with a grin. “Oh, is that your child?” she cooed, wigging a withered finger at Lilly. “She’s beautiful.”

“No, I’m watching her for a friend,” Greg said curtly, wondering how much Brad would yell at him if he went back to the car, but then realized he didn’t have the keys, so it really didn’t matter.

“How old is she?”

“Um, I’m not entirely sure.”

“Look at the baby,” a young woman said to her friend as they wandered past. “What’s her name?”

“Lilly, actually,” Greg said, trying to look less annoyed.

“Oh, you must be so proud of her, she’s gorgeous,” the friend declared, sticking out her finger to let Lilly grab hold of it. “Such tiny little hands!”

“Yeah, babies are like that,” Greg grumbled.

“So well-behaved,” the old lady said.

“Well, she’s a ham,” Greg shrugged.

Lilly was lapping up the attention and giggling into Greg’s shirt, and he cringed at the realization he was going to be covered in baby drool.

“What a beautiful little girl!” A new face, a middle-aged pregnant woman dragging her husband by the hand.

“I should be charging admission,” Greg hissed.

“Something wrong, Proops?” Brad asked as he wandered up to him.

“Lilly’s become a star,” he announced. “Here, I’ll trade you.” Brad took Lilly from Greg and handed him the bag of diapers and formula.

“Oh, that’s wonderful.” One of the younger women smiled at the other. “I’m so glad that law passed here in California, letting gay couples adopt.”

“Did you adopt her, or was there a surrogate mother?”

“That’s disgusting,” the older woman grumbled and hobbled away.

“Oh no, nonono,” Greg laughed nervously. “No, us, we’re not, no. It’s his kid, not like that, I’m just watching her, you know, it’s—” But Brad, smiling giddily, had already slipped his free arm around Greg’s waist and the crowd dispersed. “Get off,” Greg hissed and stomped off towards the car.

“Uncle Greggy isn’t any fun, is he?” Brad asked Lilly, who stuck her tongue out in response.

“What are you doing with the moose?” Gina asked as she rounded the corner, the shopping bags on her arm hitting a display of Barbie dolls, which teetered threateningly but eventually steadied.

Fenny turned the stuffed moose over in her hands. “It’s almost like mine, isn’t it?” she asked.

“Did Brad buy that for you too?” Gina teased.

“Huh?”

“Well all I’ve heard from you all day is, ‘Brad bought me this’ and ‘Look, a monkey, Brad would like it’ and ‘Oh, that reminds me of when Brad…did something.’ ”

“I’m sorry Gina,” Fenny sighed. “You know what a one track mind I have. The less I want to think about him, the more he creeps into my thoughts.”

“I know how that goes,” Gina smiled. “So, what’s up with the moose?

“I was thinking, maybe, y’know, as a peace offering or something, I could get something for Lilly.”

“Lilly?” Gina gasped.

“Well yeah. He’s not gonna give her up, I don’t expect him to give her up, so maybe it would be best if I, I dunno, made friends. I mean, I don’t like hating him.”

“You are so weak,” Gina sighed playfully.

“No arguments here.”

“Come on, let’s go back to the hotel, get some sleep, maybe some food. Just as I was getting myself un-jetlagged in the States I come home and have to get un-jetlagged all over again.”

“Damn jetlag,” Fenny sighed. “Lemme just pay for the moose, huh?”

Greg said his goodbyes in the parking lot and headed back to his little apartment feeling miserable and dejected. Not only was Gina not around, she was gallivanting around the planet with Paul. Her husband. Again. Not that he should be surprised. He was, however, a bit comforted to know that at least his life wasn’t the most screwed up. After all, Brad had a kid from a one-night stand and Fenny had left the country. Certainly that was worse than lusting after a married woman…

“I’m really glad to see you and Paul back together,” Fenny said as the elevator doors opened.

“Yeah, me too,” Gina chuckled. “You talked him into coming to LA, did you?”

“Oh, he wanted to come, I just had to convince him it was a good idea.”

“Well thanks anyway, whatever you did it worked. Well, except the whole letting Paul cook thing, that was kinda horrible. Sweet, but horrible.”

Fenny smiled and shrugged. “So, you think you’re back together for good now? I mean, if you two were any more perfect for each other I’d have to have you put to sleep for the benefit of humanity. I’ve never even seen you guys fight.”

“We’ve never been the fighting type,” Gina mused.

“Not that it’s fair,” Fenny pouted teasingly.

“Aw, poor Fen,” Gina said. “Just think of it this way. When you get home and eventually make up with Brad like we all know you’re going to, you get kinky makeup sex!”

“You’re oh-so-helpful, thank you,” Fenny grimaced and hit her in the leg with one of her shopping bags. “Well this is my stop,” she sighed as she pulled her keycard out of her purse. “I’ll meet you in the lobby in, say, half an hour?”

“Sure. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Fenny wandered into her room and dropped her bags on the bed to sort through them. A couple CDs Gina had recommended of groups she hadn’t actually heard of, a book by Stephen Fry that she’d been planning to read for months and figured she could read it on the plane home, and the stuffed moose.

She sighed and, even though she knew it probably wasn’t the best idea, she reached for the phone and dialed quickly before she could talk herself out of it.

“Hello?”

Her voice caught in her throat.

“Hello?”

“Brad.”

“Fenny?” he gasped.

“Yeah, hi. Um, look, I just wanted to let you know that I’m in Melbourne, I’ll be staying here a few days with Gina and Paul.”

“Ok, yeah, I,” he took a deep breath, not entirely sure what to say. “I found your note. On the fridge.”

“Oh, about that. I didn’t mean to be, y’know, so mean. It’s just…you left.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” he sighed.

She held the moose in her hands, rubbing the nylon fur with her thumb. “I went shopping today,” she announced.

“Yeah?”

“I bought something, a toy. For Lilly.”

“You did?” he gasped.

“Yeah.” She swallowed. “I never wanted you to abandon your daughter.”

“I didn’t want to abandon you,” he said softly.

“Well look,” Fenny said cheerily, “I just wanted to let you know I’m ok, this call’s probably costing me fifty bucks.” Fenny heard the distinct sound of a baby crying in the background. “Is Lilly there with you?”

“Um, yeah, actually, I’m watching her for the night, letting Ella get some sleep back at her place.

“Right, well, you better…go take care of her. I’ll talk to you when I get home, alright?”

“Yeah, ok.”

“Bye Brad.”

“I love you Fen.”

“I love you too,” she breathed, and quickly hung up. She collapsed back onto the bed, completely unsure how to feel, and clutched the stuffed moose to her chest.

Gina made it into her room and deposited her new purchases on the floor by the bed and decided a shower was in order. As she stepped out of the bathroom, clad in a towel, to find a change of clothes, the door to the hallway opened and she froze, afraid it was a maid. She relaxed when Paul stepped into view. He stumbled over to the bed, fell face-first onto the mattress, and cried, “Let me sleep,” into the bedding.

“Had a rough day?” she smiled as she dug around in her suitcase.

“It was all roses and fucking pixie dust,” he grumbled, then turned his head to breathe. “I hate publicists. I hate interviews. I hate planes. I hate life. I hate everything.”

“Nothing’s changed then,” Gina smiled.

“Stupid pricks don’t know anything about anything, I hope they get some terrible venereal disease and die a long tortured death being nibbled to death by gerbils.”

“Aw, cheer up,” Gina chimed, sitting on the bed to get dressed. She poked at him in the side and he twitched away from her. “Fen and I are going to grab something to eat, why don’t you tag along?”

“I’m too tired to move. I may actually be dead but too tired to notice.”

“But you haven’t eaten anything all day,” Gina cooed, pausing to rub his back before slipping on her pants. “The way the time zones work, you may not have eaten in days, who knows? Come on down to the lobby with us.”

“I told you, I don’t want to go,” he huffed.

“I’m just saying that maybe you should eat something—”

“I don’t need you to tell me what to do,” Paul snapped as he jumped up. “I’m not a child, you don’t need to treat me like one. I’ve done pretty fucking well surviving without your help for the past few months since you up and left last time! Thanks for the concern all of a sudden! I’m not hungry, I want to sleep!”

Gina glared at him for a minute. “Yeah, well fuck you too,” she hissed. “Starve for all I care.” She leaned over to grab her bag and stormed out of the room, slamming it closed pointedly behind her.