Fenny stalked into the gallery cafe, dumped her bag heavily on the table and fell into the waiting chair as gracefully as an elephant.

“Are you on your period?” Paul asked, raising a concerned eyebrow. “Because if you are, just say and I’ll leave as fast as I can.”

“What? No,” Fenny frowned, and dropped her chin onto her clenched fists. “I had a run in with Brad last night.”

“Sherwood is in town,” Paul gasped and did his best to look surprised. Fenny rolled her eyes.

“Oh, don’t pretend you didn’t know.”

Paul giggled into his mug of tea. “So I knew, so what? It’s not a bad thing.”

“Isn’t it?”

“He’s your husband and he misses you.”

“He was a total jerk,” Fenny pouted. “He almost smacked the hell out of poor Artie.”

“Darlin’, I met Artie for all of five seconds and wanted to smack the hell out of him.”

“Paul!”

“Sorry, go on.”

“So anyway he thought…”

“Can I take your order?” a young man in a apron with ‘Art Gallery of NSW’ printed on the front cut in.

“Green tea and a blueberry muffin,” Fenny snapped. The young man looked startled and she blushed. “Sorry, the aggression was meant for my assface husband.”

The young man looked at Paul who went wide-eyed. “Oh hell no, mate, I’m not her husband.” He explained. “Too angry for my delicate nature.”

“Angry? I don’t recall Gina ever being a tranquil human being.”

“Hey, Genie is a beautiful woman with a heart bigger than Phar Lap.”

“Who the heck is Phar Lap?” Fenny scorned, looking puzzled.

“A horse,” the young man piped up before a glare from Fenny sent him scurrying back to the counter.

“So you’re comparing the love of your life to a horse?”

“Are you mocking an Australian legend? I think you are, and I’m hurt, Fen.” Paul did his best hurt face and Fenny tried to keep her angry look but ended up smiling and looking away. “So now I’ve crushed your soul, go on.”

Fenny bit her lip as her muffin and tea were delivered. “He thought Artie was my replacement for him.”

“Gay Artie.”

“Yes, Gay Artie.”

“Is Sherwood blind? The guy was more camp than the entire Mardi Grad parade if you covered it in glitter and had them all dance to ABBA.”

“I thought that was the Mardi Gras?”

“I’m generalising.”

“Oh.”

“I was gonna say Lady Gaga, but really I just want her taken out the back and shot.”

“We could find someone to do that, you know.”

“Wonder if Beven is busy,” Paul mused. “Or at least buy her some pants.”

“We’ll start a fund or something.” Fenny agreed as she picked at her muffin.

“So what are you gonna do about Braddles, huh?”

“I’m torn between denial and fleeing the country.”

“That’s a bit extreme, don’t you think?” Paul countered as he rested his head on his hand.

“He’s being a jerk.”

“Fen, you up and left him for a couple of years without any contact. If Genie did that to me I’d be fucking livid.”

“I had my reasons, I did.”

“Does he know that?”

Fenny fell quiet and picked a blueberry out of her muffin. “What if he hates me?”

“He doesn’t hate you, he misses you and he’s confused,” Paul sighed and then perked up. “Besides, it’s got to be easier than breaking out of a bank vault.”

“That’s true,” she nodded. “Well if I have to front up to Brad, what’re you going to do about Gina.”

“From what I saw last night, nothing.”

“What?”

“She looked so happy with whathisface.”

“Lee.”

“Lee? That’s a pair of jeans, that’s not a name.”

“Not that you’re jealous or anything…”

Paul raised an eyebrow. “Come on Fen, she’s made it clear she’s not interested.”

“God, men are idiots.”

“This from the woman that ran away from her husband and can’t understand why this upsets him.”

“Paul!” Fenny gasped. “Too mean.”

“Sorry, that just kinda fell out of my mouth…” He winced. “Continue please.”

She shook her head. “So that’s it, is it? You’re not even going to fight for her?”

“Is it worth it?”

“Was shooting Don for her worth it? Was being scared shitless about her while stuck over the other side of the world worth it? Was putting your body on the line to save her worth it? Was the look on her face when you sprung that surprise beach wedding on her worth it?” Fenny paused and looked at the sadness on Paul’s face. He rubbed at his eyes. “Do I need to go on?”

“No,” he shook his head and wouldn’t meet her eyes. “What do I do? How do I even start to make it right?”

Fenny shrugged. “Yeah, I’m not really the expert on that one, but I guess talking to her sincerely would be a start.”

“I do talk to her sincerely…”

“Without the anger or sexual innuendo.”

“…sometimes.”

“And Paul.”

“Yes Fen.”

“Don’t threaten to shoot Lee in the balls again.”

“Best behaviour,” Paul smiled, put his palm together and did his best to look angelic. “Oh and Fen.”

“Yes Paul.”

“If you have trouble with Brad, just suck his cock,” he grinned devilishly. “It’ll work better than sincere talking.”

“You are a disgusting little troll sometimes.”

“Can I have your muffin?”

“No,” Fenny scorned and pulled the plate closer to her.

Brad snuffled into the hotel blankets as he tried to get warm. No one told him this country got cold and he wasn’t prepared for anything below pleasantly warm. It didn’t help he was tired, grumpy and his hair smelt of chocolate and not for any good reason. He thrust his arm out from beneath the covers and snatched up the remote. All that was on were horrible morning programmes, and he reluctantly left the mindless droning about whoever was touring and what the Prime Minister was doing on to fill up the empty spaces of his hotel room. Brad felt his eyes closing and his skin warming when there was a knock at the door.

“MY TOWELS ARE CLEAN!” he yelled and received two harder knocks for the effort. “Do you not speak English,” he grumbled, clambering out of bed and stumbling across the room wrapped in a blanket. He unlocked the door prepared to slap whoever dared get him out of bed. “I said my towels are clea-”

“Hey husband,” Fenny said, her voice slightly shaky. She swallowed and gingerly looked him up and down. Her lips curled into a small embarrassed smile. He looked so rumpled and cute.

“Fen,” Brad gasped and tried unsuccessfully to suavely kick off the sheet. It caught around his feet and he stumbled into the wall before straightening up and leaning against the door frame pretending to look casual. “I was just about to go out.”

Fenny cocked her head to the side and motioned to his shorts. “In those?”

“They’re my swim trunks.”

“They’re satin with monkeys in nightcaps on them.”

“They’re not nightcaps, they’re Peruvian bathing caps.”

“There’s little Z’s circling them.”

“Did you just come to mock my shorts?”

“No, I brought piping hot coffee and bacon sandwiches because it’s like Siberia out there and we need to talk.”

“Oh god, thank you,” Brad gushed and grabbed the coffee, clutching it tightly. “I should put on some pants.”

“Probably a good idea, monkey boy,” Fenny mused as she walked over to the bed and sat down. She watched as Brad found his jeans and pulled them on and then dug a sweater from his bag. She fought a smile again as she saw his ‘Fenny’ tattoo was still thoroughly intact.

“I didn’t think you’d ever want to talk to me again,” Brad sighed as he flopped down onto the bed and grabbed his coffee again. “In general, and after last night.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t realise Artie was gay,” Fenny chided as she passed him a bacon sandwich.

“Hey, its hard to tell with some of your arty friends,” Brad pouted. “I mean look at McDermott.”

Fenny choked on a bit of bacon. “I’m telling him you said that.”

“I’ll tell him I said it, I don’t care.”

Fenny giggled and found herself happily locked on Brad’s eyes. She blushed and managed to look away, pretending to focus on her sandwich.

Wrapped in a jacket, scarf and knitted hat, Gina marched down the paved path. The waves crashed fiercely and the air was biting, yet for some reason she still didn’t hesitate when she got the text message from Paul. He was sitting jiggling on a bench that overlooked the shoreline, a thick mottled scarf around his neck.

“Couldn’t you have picked somewhere warmer,” Gina sighed as she sat herself on the bench.

“I brought mini chocolate croissants,” Paul declared and held up a brown bakery bag.

Gina looked at him suspiciously. “I suppose that makes it ok.”

“So anyway, I wanted to talk…”

“Croissants first,” Gina pouted and then smiled. Paul gave her a wry smile and opened the bag of croissants. “Ok continue.” she added as she bit into the chocolate pastry goodness.

Paul sighed and looked at the crashing waves. “This guy.”

“Lee.”

“Lee,” he paused. “Is it serious?”

“I don’t know,” Gina shrugged. “It’s barely started.”

“But you like him, yeah?”

“Yeah I do, he makes me laugh.” She caught Paul’s eye and realised her honestly had stung. “In a different way to you of course. He’s not really into penis jokes.”

“And he calls himself a man,” Paul half-heartedly chided. “Y’know that’s good. I’m glad he makes you happy Genie. I want you to be happy.”

Gina stopped focussing on the croissants and looked up at Paul. “Aww, thanks Pauly,” she cooed and slid her hand into his. “That means a lot.”

“I promise no more threats on his balls or life.”

She raised an eyebrow. “What are you after?”

“Genie, you know me,” he breathed. “You know me better than anyone. Do you honestly think I’m after anything?”

She squeezed his hand and after a few moments spoke softly. “It’s been so hard.”

“I know, fucking hell I know.”

“I just,” she stopped to calm her shaking voice. “I can’t go back, Paul. This hurts too much.”

“I don’t care, just don’t hate me,” Paul pleaded he looked at their clasped hands and then looked back. “I couldn’t imagine you not being in my life.”

“I could never hate you,” Gina sniffed as she fought a losing battle against the tears that were pricking at her eyes. “I couldn’t imagine life without you either.”

“Oh, don’t cry,” he cooed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his side. “We’ll be best friends.”

“Fen’s my best friend.”

“I’m better than Fen,” he mused. “I’ll get us friends forever pendants and everything.”

She giggled through her tears and snuggled closer to him. “You’re an idiot.”

“It’s why you love me,” he teased and she looked at him coyly. “Just to be sure though, what are the boundaries of this friendship? I mean can I still elicit cuddles when I’m sad?”

“Sure,” she nodded. “I think I can mange that.”

“And y’know, in return, should whatshisface ever lose his genitals in a nasty machete incident in Borneo, I’ll happily fill in for him.”

“Paul!” Gina gasped and slapped his stomach as he giggled.

“Aww, I’m sad now,” he pouted before he flung himself at her, she fell back onto the bench squealing with laughter. “I demand cheer up hugs!”

“You’re impossible, McDermott,” Gina laughed as she was squashed been the bench slats and her ex-husband.

“Let’s hear it then,” Brad declared after an uncomfortable silence and the eating of much bacon.

“Hear what?” Fenny asked as she wiped her hands on her jeans.

“Why you up and left me for several years,” he replied. “I’m assuming that’s why you’re here.”

She swallowed anxiously. “I was in a really messed up place.”

“Who would’ve thought.”

“I couldn’t go back and pretend everything was normal and ok.”

“No one could after all that, Fen,” Brad frowned. “But I had to for Lilly’s sake.”

“I know,” Fenny nodded and went to take his hand but he pulled it away. She was startled but continued. “I had to get my head straight and deal with everything that happened.”

“Y’know, so did I,” Brad countered as he lifted himself from the bed. “I had to deal with with all that shit too and still put on a happy face for my daughter.” He stopped and rubbed his face with his palms. “I needed you.”

“I couldn’t…”

“You could have called, let me know you were ok and needed some time.”

Fenny felt a lump form in her throat and suddenly became interested in a loose thread on one of the hotel sheets. “I just…”

“Did what you always do and ran away.”

“Brad.”

“So what did you do with all your time?”

“I ended up in Paris and did a teacher training course,” she said in a barely audible voice. “And then when Gina called distraught I came here.”

“Wow, nice to see things have been so fucking hard for you, Fen,” he spat. “And I’m pleased you could run to Gina in her time of need.”

“I didn’t do it to hurt you,” she pleaded, trying desperately not to give in to her emotions. Her voice strained with the effort to hold back a sob.

“You didn’t just hurt me,” he snapped, slapping his hands onto his chest. “The worst thing you did was hurt Lilly. Do you have any idea how hard it was to explain to her that I didn’t know where her Fenny Mom had gone and I didn’t know when she’d be back?” Fenny shook her head but couldn’t speak. “She waited everyday for you. Kept asking if you’d be home tomorrow,” his voice cracked. “The worst thing, absolute worst was that she blamed herself for you leaving and me being sad.”

“I’m so, so sorry I didn’t think…”

“You never do,” Brad hissed as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Crazy thing is I came here because I knew that I’d find you and now I have,” he paused and licked his lips. “I can’t even stand to be around you.” He snatched his wallet up from the bedside table and stormed out of the room.

As the door slammed, Fenny finally let out the sob she’d been holding back and buried her face into the pillows.

Gina realised her palms were sweating and wiped them on her jeans. She was stupidly nervous and had to steady herself before she knocked on the chipped wooden door. After uncomfortably ending her date with Lee the previous night after her run in with Paul, she felt it only right to explain herself. So she found herself calling him and getting his address and now was outside his door in an unremarkable block of flats. The lock on the door was pulled back and it opened. Lee looked delightfully ruffled in worn jeans and a dark blue shirt that was open enough to show off a silver St Christopher.

“Welcome to Chateau Tucker,” he smiled cheekily and moved aside to let her in. “It’s nothing flash, I’m afraid,” he sighed and patted her bottom as she passed. She shot him an amused look over her shoulder. “But I’m not home a lot, so eh.”

“Do you have a stuffed mongoose?” she asked as she surveyed the various worldly artifacts that littered the room. There were several African masks, a Buddha, some sort of Indian rug and a didgeridoo in the corner.

“I can safely say that I don’t,” Lee mused as he wrapped her in a hug from behind. “Is this an ex-husband thing?”

“Yes, I kinda wanted to explain about that,” she sighed as she turned to face him, her arms finding their way around his waist.

“Explain away,” Lee smiled as slipped his arms over her shoulders and pulled her close.

“The thing is, Paul and I…” She paused as Lee continued to look at her bemused. “You’re not listening at all are you?”

“Not in the slightest,” he enthused as he dipped his head and caught her lips with his. She savoured the kiss. Enjoying the freedom that came with it and the way he tasted of black coffee. “So,” he panted, lips still against hers. “How do you plan to make it up to me for cutting short our date?”

Gina smiled as her hands crept up his back and squeezed his shoulders. “I haven’t decided yet but you might need more coffee.” She brought her lips lustily to his again as Lee elicited something close to a whimper.

Once outside in the bitingly cold air, Brad realised he’d foolishly stormed out of his hotel room and wasn’t entirely sure where to go. He remembered seeing a park when he was in the cab that brought him to the hotel and began to walk in what he hoped was its general direction. It wasn’t long until the gum trees and wattles came into view and he glanced around for the most sheltered spot which turned out to be a gazebo. Brad jiggled on the spot, blowing into his hands and tried to collect his thoughts. What had just happened? All this time he’d been desperate to see Fenny. He’d imagined time and time again them reuniting with lots of crying and sex and yet, he was so angry. He knew he’d been bottling up a lot of hurt since she left but it surprised him how much he lashed out. It was like she hadn’t even thought about him and Lilly at all. Brad took several deep breaths and slipped his phone from his pocket and pressed Call.

“Mmm, is that you Daddy?”

“Sure is, Princess.”

“It’s still really dark.”

“Shit, I forgot the time difference.”

“You swore, you owe me a buck.”

“I’ll keep it safe until I get back.”

“Is it an emergency cos you said the cell was only for emergencies.”

“Is missing you an emergency?”

“I guess.”

“How’s Mommy?”

“Grumpy, and I hate Assface.”

“What have I told you about calling Petey…”

“He’s making me do stupid tap dancing classes.”

“I stand corrected, he is an assface,” Brad mused. “And how’s your baby brother?”

“I hate him,” Lilly grumbled. “All Noah does is cry and poop.”

“Well he’s a baby, sweetheart, that’s all you used to do, too.”

“Mochrie hates him too, she sat on his head.”

Brad chuckled and then heard a voice in the background: “Lilly sweetie is 3am, who on earth are you talking to?”

“Daddy,” she mused as the phone cracked in an obviously exchanged of hands.

“Brad, do you have any idea what time it is?” Ella scorned.

“Sorry, I totally forgot the time difference, I’ll just say goodnight to her and go.”

“Good, because if you wake Noah or Mochrie I’ll kill you when you get back,” Ella chided and handed the phone back to her daughter.

“I better let you get back to sleep,” Brad sighed.

“Ok,” Lilly said sadly. “I love you Daddy, please don’t get eaten by a shark.”

“I promise I won’t,” Brad replied warmly. “I love you too, please don’t put Noah in a box and post him to Alaska.” He ended the call leaving Lilly giggling as he slipped the phone back into his pocket and then wiped the tears from his eyes. “You’re getting soppy, old man,” he mumbled and headed toward the duckpond.

“Wait, what? You’re going?” Lee pouted as Gina slid from beneath the covers and began hunting for her clothes that were scattered around the room.

“I have to, I’m afraid,” she mused as she collected her bra that was hanging from a replica totem pole.

“You can’t just come here and use me for my body and then leave,” Lee chided as he propped himself up on one elbow.

“Yeah I can,” she smiled, slipping her shirt on and walking back toward the bed where her jeans were nearby on the floor. Lee grinned mischievously. Damn he was cute, and tanned, and toned, and it was taking all of her willpower not to crawl right back under the covers and into his arms.

“So use me and abuse me, baby,” he teased as he snatched up her jeans from the floor and hid them under the covers. “You’ll have to fight me for your pants if you want to leave.”

“If I must,” Gina sighed as she leapt onto the bed, straddling him in the process, Lee folded his arms behind his head.

“Now what?”

“Don’t make me have to hurt you.”

“I don’t fear pain.”

“Oh really?” Gina mused and giggled as she stealthily gave him a surprise nipple cripple.

“Oh Jesus fucking Christ,” Lee shrieked and clutched his chest protectively. “You will pay for that.” he frowned then shot up, pushing her back onto the mattress and dropping kisses on her neck as he held her down.

“That’s not much of a punishm…” Gina’s eyes widened and she squealed as she felt his teeth nip as her flesh. “Aww man, I’m gonna have to wear scarves for a week.”

“Still want to leave?” Lee purred and nibbled her earlobe.

“No, but I must,” Gina sighed, managing to wriggle out from under him.

“Damn,” Lee pouted in the most adorable, ruffled, naked way Gina had ever seen.

“I have important work to do, and Fen’s having a crisis I need to deal with.”

“How do you know Fen is having a crisis?”

“She’s sent me 25 messages that all say, ‘Oh my god he hates me,’ but it may just be that she’s hit a wrong button somewhere.”

“Can’t Fen deal with her own crisis?”

“No babe, she can’t,” Gina chided as he took his face in her hands and kissed him gently on the lips. “I’ll see you Monday at work.”

“Is that my phone?” Paul grumbled as he pulled on the blue suit pants he was wearing for that week’s taping of Good News Week. He snatched his phone up from the chair he’d left it on and pressed answer as he did up his button and fly. “Hello?”

“Hey Pauly.”

“Sherwood.”

“You sound busy.”

“I’m putting on my pants.”

“Oh really?”

“I’m taping in about 20 minutes,” he huffed as he tucked in his shirt.

“So now is a bad time?”

“What do you fucking think?”

“I just needed someone to talk to.”

“Well talk quick.”

“I just saw Fen.”

“And?”

“It didn’t go well.”

“She didn’t suck your cock?”

“What?”

“I told her it was a good move.”

“WHAT?”

“We’re talking about you here. Please go on.”

“I got really worked up.”

“This isn’t going to end well, is it mate?”

“Sort of told her that I can’t stand to be around her.”

“Why the fuck would you do that?”

“I meant it.”

“But?”

“There’s a lot of pain behind it.”

“Are we talking feelings here? Emotions and shit?”

“Yes, yes we are.”

“Right, I have to go, but after the show we’ll meet up and get hammered at the pub and then discuss this further.”

“I knew I could rely on you, Paul.”

“I’m a mate, it’s what I do,” Paul rushed and ended the call as he reached for his jacket.

Fenny was in shock as she lay wrapped in a fluffy brown blanket on her bed. She hadn’t been able to stop crying since Brad had stormed out and it was miraculous that she’d managed to make it home at all. She heard the front door open, close and then hurried footsteps to her room.

“What the hell happened, Fen?” Gina said breathlessly as she climbed onto the bed.

“I had a massive fight with Brad,” she managed to choke out between sobs. “He we so, so angry and said he couldn’t stand being around me.”

“Oh god, I’m sorry,” Gina sighed and wrapped her blanket-cocooned friend in a hug. “I’m sure he’s just venting his frustrations and doesn’t mean it.”

“He does mean it,” Fenny sniffed. “I could see it in his eyes.”

“Want me to punch him in the face?” Gina soothed. “Just say the word and I’ll break his nose for being a jerk.”

“No, he’s right,” she pouted. “That’s what makes it so bad. He’s totally justified in hating me.”

“Hate is never justified.”

“Unless its directed toward Lady Gaga or anything Hilton.”

“Touche.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Fenny sobbed and Gina squeezed her through the blanket.

“Wait until he calms down and try talking to him again I guess,” Gina shrugged. “Or suck his cock.”

“That’s what Paul said.”

“He would,” Gina sighed. “Wait, when did you see Paul?”

Fenny sat up still cocooned in blanket. “Did I say I’d seen Paul?”

“Fen?”

“This morning, we had tea.”

“Did you tell him to talk to me?”

“Kinda,” Fenny swallowed. “I just told him to be sincere and avoid sexual innuendo.”

“That’s asking too much,” Gina breathed. “We had a good talk though, so thank you I guess.”

“At least someone is happy,” Fenny snuffled. “By the way, why do you smell of incense and…”

“I kinda went to see Lee.”

Fenny sniffed, went wide eyed and shot away from Gina. “Eww and you touched me!”

“What are you, five?”

“Go and bathe, you stink of lust,” she scorned as Gina heaved herself off the bed.

“You’re just jealous.”

“You should be deeply ashamed,” Fenny called after Gina’s disappearing back.

“Envy is a sin, Fen.”

“HUSSY!”