3 – Penciling It In

“Back to LA?” Greg gasped.

“Yeah, we’ve been planning it for weeks,” Gina rushed, her eyes averting back to her hands.

“How soon had you planned to go?” Greg asked, sounding slightly miffed.

“Tomorrow,” Gina mumbled, now wringing her hands as she nervously waited on Greg’s next words.

“There goes my ‘trying to get over my deep felt hatred of Australia’ vacation,” he sighed.

“Are you angry?”

“Nah, I did what I set out to do,” he smiled.

“Have sex in a hallway?”

“Tell you I loved you.”

“Ahh, but you’ve done that before.”

“Not flat on my back, staring up at the cracked paint on the ceiling in your hallway, I haven’t,” he said brushing his lips against her cheek.

Gina’s mind was screaming, “Run now, before your knickers are dangling off a lampshade.” Her hormones were singing a different tune of “Get him naked, you know you want to.” And her heart, well, she was ignoring that.

“Y’know what, I’ve just remembered,” Gina swallowed as she edged away from Greg slightly. “I have to call into the travel agents, so I might just go jump in the shower.”

“Need someone to wash your back?” Greg grinned.

She looked up and caught his gaze again. She knew the proper thing to do would be to say no. She was a big girl and could wash her own. Sure, she might pop a shoulder joint in the process, but it was, should be, better than being fondled, kissed, touched…

“Sure,” she cooed and got to her feet. “I’ve always wondered how you handle a loofah.”

Gina disappeared into the hallway, closed her eyes and mumbled, “Idiot, weak, stupid idiot.”


Paul rolled onto his back. The only day he was allowed a sleep in and he couldn’t bloody sleep. He decided since sleep was avoiding him, he might as well get up and wearily slid out of bed. He scratched his stomach, stubble and lower back before coughing up something slightly unsightly, which he feared might be part of a lung. Then he grabbed his laptop and mobile phone, climbed back onto the bed and switched everything on.

He had a pile of emails from people he didn’t have the energy to deal with. He read Fenny’s and laughed for what felt like the first time in days before he set about writing a reply.

From: paulmcdermott@hotmail.com

To: fennygrey@hotmail.com

Subject: RE: RE: never do dick tricks at rehearsals

 

Fenny,

How the hell did you get hot fudge sauce on the ceiling? Actually if it’s got something to do with having Brad squeeze it between his “perfect” buttocks, I really, really don’t want to know.

I’m impressed with your theories of what happened to Elvis. I’m of the belief he’s currently working as a beanbag in a furniture showroom. Either that or he’s a whale, because there was a whale caught on camera wearing that white jumpsuit he wore, and you know what? It was a perfect fucking fit! (That was a joke from 1984)

I don’t know about giving my liver a work out, but I certainly coughed up a part of my left lung this morning.

Chandelier jumping? I can’t see Gina writing about that kind of kinky thing, she’s such an angel (pause here for hysterical laughter) I’ll keep an eye out in some quality men’s publications for such an article. Speaking of my estranged (or is that strange?) wife, I still haven’t heard from her. I might pop back to Sydney this weekend.

And no we don’t have gypsies in Australia, or at least, not in that part of Sydney. It’s more likely she’s been kidnapped by some Greenpeace hippie called Tam, who’s currently telling Gina about the state of her aura.

 

Paul

 

P.S. Marina Prior is still avoiding me; rumour has it she thinks I’m a “strange little man.”


Fenny finished work early and arrived home to the empty apartment. Well, empty apart from Jaguar, who’d obviously spent the day scattering the contents of the kitchen bin across every room in the house.

“Gee, thanks Jag,” Fenny grumbled as she dropped her bag onto the sofa and set out to pick up the papers and various other garbage contents. She retrieved the litter from everywhere, grabbed a new garbage bag and soon had everything cleaned up. Fenny went to wash her hands when she noticed another piece of paper under the table. She got on her knees and stretched a hand out under the chairs and grabbed it. It was receipt for a toy elephant worth $50. Why on earth would Brad buy a toy elephant? The ringing of the phone interrupted Fenny’s thoughts; she dropped the receipt in the trashcan and dashed into the living room to answer it.

“Hello?” There was no response. “Hello,” she said louder, there was a gasp of breath, the click of plastic and then the dial tone. Fenny looked at the phone accusingly and then hung it up. Probably just some stupid, pre-teen fan that’s somehow managed to get hold of Brad’s number, she told herself.


“Yes, can I help you,” a perky, preened woman smiled.

“I want to book a flight for LA,” Gina nodded.

“Certainly, when would you be planning to go?” the woman perked.

“Tomorrow,” Gina replied.

“Tomorrow, that’s very short notice,” the woman gasped.

“Please, I have to go tomorrow…it’s urgent,” Gina begged.

The woman looked and Gina then at her computer. “Well, I could squeeze you onto the 7am flight.”

“Yes, yes…thank you,” Gina babbled and almost hugged the woman.

“Do you need accommodation?” the woman continued.

“No, just book me that seat,” Gina half demanded.

Gina felt a weight lift off her shoulders, if only for second. She was thanking the god of flight and the god of savings at the moment. Sure, she was running away from her problems, but at least two days without Greg would give her time to think, cry and conclude her life was totally fucked up.


As she lay in bed, Fenny looked at the clock. It was 1am and still the space beside her was empty. She was going to get up when she heard the key in the door. It was Brad. He padded through the apartment to the bedroom, dropping his keys on the coffee table as he did. The bedroom door creaked as it opened and Fenny pretended to be asleep. She listened as Brad removed his clothes and kicked them into a corner before he slid into bed beside her, without so much as a little bit of snuggling.

Fenny rolled over to face Brad and ran her fingers up his chest.

“I thought you were asleep,” he mused, and she could tell he was smiling.

“Where have you been?” she breathed.

“Well I was at a meeting, and you know what the guys are like, we got drinking and talking…”

“You don’t smell like booze.”

“We didn’t drink much.”

Fenny continued to stroke Brad’s chest. “Brad.”

“Yes sweetie,” Brad replied wearily.

“Why’d you buy an elephant?”

“Huh?” Brad said, his voice shocked.

“Jag spread the garbage everywhere and I found this receipt and…”

“Oh the elephant, sorry…I’m so tired. Ryan bought the elephant for one of his kids. He didn’t want them to see the receipt, so I said I’d get rid of it for him,” Brad mused.

Fenny fell quiet again for a moment. “Brad.”

“Yes sweetie,” he mumbled.

“Make love to me,” Fenny cooed.

“I’m tired,” Brad whined and kissed her on the forehead.

“There’d be a first,” Fenny huffed.

“Tomorrow,” Brad yawned.

“I’ll just pencil it in shall I?” Fenny grumbled and turned over away from Brad.