“Pancakes.”

Fenny’s eyes twitched as she felt Brad move beside her. “What?” she managed to mumble.

“Pancakes,” Brad reiterated. “Gina’s making pancakes.”

“Good for Gina,” Fenny sighed as Brad sat up and swung her legs out of the bed. “Where are you going?”

“I want pancakes.”

“What about a sleep in with your new wife?”

Brad’s face dropped. “But…”

“I can make you pancakes.”

“But I like Gina’s pancakes.”

Fenny rolled onto her back and grabbed her glasses as Brad pulled on his boxers and a t-shirt. “You’re seriously going to abandon me for pancakes?”

“Not just for any pancakes,” Brad declared. “Gina’s pancakes.”

“Is this how it’s going to be throughout our marriage? Every time a pretty blonde makes pancakes you’re going to up and leave me?” Fenny asked as Brad edged toward the door.

“You can have pancakes too,” Brad shrugged, reaching for the handle.

Fenny let out a sigh. “Oh just go, get your pancakes.”

“I was planning to,” Brad grinned before hurrying out of the bedroom. Fenny let out a sigh and threw back the covers.

“If you can’t beat ’em, might as well join ’em,” she mumbled, looking for her underwear.

Gina was pouring some more mixture into a frying pan when Brad bounded into the kitchen.

“Okay, where are they?” he demanded, looking around the room.

“Where are what?” Gina asked, not looking up from the pan.

“The pancakes. You can’t hide them from me,” Brad declared. “I’ll sniff them out,” he added and began to scurry around the kitchen sniffing everything like a complete spack-head.

“Try the microwave,” Gina mused.

“I knew that,” Brad pouted as he removed the large late of pancakes from the safety of the microwave. “Where’s McDermott?”

“I was showering,” Paul declared, strolling into the kitchen, scratching his stomach.

Brad looked at his watch. “I guess it is that time of year, huh?”

Paul gave Brad the finger as he took at seat at the table.

By the time Gina had turned around to put the last of the pancakes on the plate with the others, Paul and Brad and eaten about half a dozen between them.

“It’s like feeding time at the zoo with you two,” Gina huffed. “The masturbating spider monkey and gangly great ape.”

“I’m not gangly,” Brad remarked and looked at Paul.

“What?” Paul said innocently. “I have no issues with being referred to as a masturbating spider monkey.”

“You know, that doesn’t surprise me,” Brad nodded.

“They’re leaving some for us, right?” Fenny asked as she padded into the room.

“If we hurry,” Gina shrugged as she sat herself next to Paul.

“So, what inspired you to make breakfast?” Paul asked, stopping to pour himself a mug of tea.

“Does there have to be a reason?” Gina asked. Paul raised an eyebrow. “Ok, I wanted to ask a favour, sorta.”

“I told you, I’m not into swinging,” Paul teased.

“Oh shut up,” Gina scolded. “Every year I get invited to a barbecue, it’s one of the best events of the year, and I was hoping you guys would come? We can bring who we like,” she asked, looking at Brad and Fenny.

“What if I’m busy?” Paul asked.

“You don’t get a say in the matter, you’re going,” Gina replied.

“Well, haven’t I been put in my place,” Paul mocked.

“What do you think?” Brad asked, looking at Fenny.

“I’m not fussed,” she shrugged.

“It’s settled then,” Gina perked. “Besides, it’s about time you two found out what a real Aussie barbie is like.”

“God help us,” Fenny breathed. “So, when is it, this barbecue?”

“Tonight, seven o’clock,” Gina replied.

“Great, so we still have the whole day to ourselves,” Brad announced through a mouthful of pancake.

“In some respects,” Paul mused, “I certainly don’t plan on wasting my day with your ugly arse.”

“That feeling is entirely mutual,” Brad countered and looked to Fenny who’d been exceptionally quiet for the last few moments.

“What?” she asked blankly.

“What are we going to do with ourselves.”

“Well, I thought it might be nice to have some me time,” Fenny said gingerly. “I want to go, sit on the beach, do some sketching.”

“Oh,” Brad pouted.

“Don’t look like that,” Fenny cooed and rested a hand on his thigh. “I just want to be by myself, if we’re together all the time we’ll drive each other nuts.”

“I could never get sick of you, Genie,” Paul piped up, looking innocently at Gina.

“Yeah,” Gina said deadpan. “Wish I could say the same.”

“Hey!” Paul huffed, his eyes childlike.

Gina smiled. “Aw, you’re right…I can’t get sick of you.”

“Please, we’re eating,” Fenny chided.

“Want us to really disgust you?” Paul mused, raising an eyebrow.

“Is there anything left you can do to disgust us?” Fenny countered. “I mean we’ve seen you do some pretty vile things.”

“No, I’m intrigued,” Brad perked. “Go on.”

Paul handed Gina the bottle of syrup from the table while he grabbed the strawberry jam. She squeezed a generous portion of syrup into her mouth, while he dropped some jam into his.

“They’re not going to do what I think they are, are they?” Fenny winced as Gina and Paul leaned toward each other and shared a heated kiss.

“Ew,” Fenny cringed.

“Yeah, that’s pretty disgusting,” Brad nodded as Gina and Paul parted lips.

“I have syrup stuck under my tongue,” Paul mused and stuck a finger in his mouth to dislodge the offending topping.

“Mmm strawberry,” Gina smiled before taking a sip of her tea.

“Do you two often share food orally?” Brad asked.

“Do you really want an answer to that?” Paul countered.

Gina started to giggle. “You should tell them the M&Ms incident.”

“No, we said we’d never speak of that,” Paul sniggered.

“You know,” Fenny announced, pushing her plate away. “I think I’ll go have a shower.”

“Can I be in charge of the loofa?” Brad chirped.

“If you’re quick,” Fenny teased as she got up from the table and headed toward the bathroom; Brad leapt up from his chair and hurried after her.

“They think we’re even more perverted than usual now,” Paul sighed, finishing his mug of tea.

“I know and to think, the M&Ms incident was only us chucking them at people.”

“Some people have smutty, smutty minds,” Paul agreed. “So, what are we going to do today?”

“Whatever, I have no plans.”

“Well, I don’t care as long as it involves the couch, television, beer and you.”

“Should I be worried I was last on your list?”

“That was random order,” Paul mused. “Had I listed in order of preference, you would have been right up there…right behind the beer.” Gina raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah I know, I’m doing the breakfast dishes,” Paul sighed and started collecting the plates.

Fenny arrived at the beach a short while later. She spread a blanket on the sand and got herself comfortable. The sun was pleasantly warm and the beach wasn’t overly crowded. She grabbed her sketchbook from her bag and flipped through the drawings, picking out their faults and worrying that they didn’t look like what they were supposed to. She stopped when she came to the picture of Danny, sprawled on the couch and covered in popcorn. Her heart tingled and she cursed herself for it. Danny had been there when she’d needed him; he’d showed her that she did deserve to be loved and that not all relationships need to be painful. Fenny lay back on the blanket and closed her eyes. She could still remember what it felt like to be held in Danny’s arms, how safe it felt and how his butt was phenomenal. She sighed loudly; she did love Brad, however, and couldn’t be happier that they were married. It’d been one hell of an experience, but now in the cold light of day it felt…strange and rushed. Fenny sat up again and looked at the drawing of Danny. She ripped it from her book and tore it into pieces. She was being ridiculous. What she had now with Brad was just perfect, exactly what she wanted. The only problem was her and her ability to find problems and fuck everything up. Well not this time. Fenny got to her feet and made her way to the nearest bin where she deposited the remains of the sketch amongst the empty cans and ice cream wrappers.

“So, what are we going to do?” Gina asked as Paul sat himself on the couch. She stretched her legs out over him.

“I like the idea of staying right here with you,” Paul replied as he took to giving her a foot massage.

“Suits me,” Gina smiled and grabbed the television remote. “Hey, that tickles,” she giggled and pulled her feet back.

“No, this tickles,” Paul grinned and dove forward, his fingers shooting under her top and tickling her sides. Gina let out a squeal but decided to retaliate by giving him a nipple cripple.

“Oh,” Paul breathed and rubbed his nipples a second before returning the favour. Brad walked into the room to find them both tangled on the couch and massaging their chests.

“You two just get weirder and weirder,” he declared.

“We’re not weird, we’re just non-traditional,” Paul remarked.

“Non-conformist,” Gina added.

“Original,” Paul nodded.

“No holds barred,” Gina shrugged.

“I’m sure the chain of evolution went, monkeys, Neanderthal, you guys and modern man,” Brad countered.

“Are we before or after the Flintstones?” Gina asked blankly.

“I always wanted to do Betty,” Paul sighed whimsically.

“I know, there’s something very sexy about that woman,” Brad agreed. “Why she went for the little guy…”

“The woman has good taste,” Gina piped up.

“So, are you are a Barney or a Fred woman?” Paul asked.

“Do you have to ask?” Gina replied.

“As long as it’s not Mr. Slate, I don’t care,” Paul mused. “Okay, Marge Simpson or Maude Flanders?”

“Maude has great tits but when Marge put on the police uniform…” Brad breathed.

“She’s a sex kitten, that woman,” Paul grinned. “Okay Genie, Homer or Ned?”

“Hmm psycho Christian with a great body or a donut eating doofus,” Gina mused looking from Paul to Brad and then back again.

“You’re comparing us, aren’t you?” Brad said sternly.

“I would never say ‘hi diddly,’ never,” Paul remarked.

“Can I say Moe?”

“Moe? The man is a psycho,” Brad remarked.

“I know, something quite sexy about a man with a big knife,” Gina mused.

“Or a woman in uniform,” Brad agreed.

“I could buy a uniform,” Gina said, raising an eyebrow.

“I could hunt out a knife,” Brad smiled.

“You can call me Marge,” Gina purred.

“Shall I leave the room?” Paul huffed.

“Yeah, give us ten minutes,” Brad chided as Paul scowled. Gina burst into giggles and Brad soon lost it as well. “Well, now I’ve pissed Paul off, I think I’ll go out for a while.”

“You’re not going to bother Fen are you?” Gina asked.

“Not at first,” Brad replied. “Can I borrow your car?”

“If you promise to return the poor thing unharmed.”

“You have my word,” Brad mused as Gina chucked him the keys. “I won’t be long,” he added with a smile.

A short while later, Brad killed the engine of the Beetle and slid out from behind the wheel. He took in the shabby exterior of the small suburban house and knew that what he was about to do was not only important, but felt more than right. Brad walked to the front door and was greeted by a cacophony of excited screams.

“BRAD’S HERE…MUM, BRAD’S HERE…MUM!”

Ritza appeared a few seconds later drying her hands on a tea towel. “What are you doing here?” she asked as she unlocked the flyscreen door.

“I wanted to see how you were,” Brad replied as he made his way inside. He followed Ritza down the hall and back into the kitchen.

“I’m fine, I was fine before you came and I’m fine now,” she replied curtly.

“You’re not fine,” Brad countered. “You’re struggling for money, you’re lonely and you’re running scared.”

“I made my bed…”

“I want to help you.”

“I’m not your responsibility.”

“I feel like you are, I care about you…”

“What’s that?” Ritza asked, pointing to the ring on his finger. “Engaged?”

“Married actually,” Brad replied.

“Congratulations,” Ritza smiled, “and I’m sure your new wife would be thrilled to know you’re here.”

“You’re my friend,” Brad said sternly. “And I want to help you, please at least hear me out.”

Ritza crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side. “Okay, shoot.”

“Right, well I’ve been thinking and…”

“Brad,” Gus peeped appearing at Brad’s side. “Help me.”

“Help you how, little man?” Brad smiled and crouched down.

“Thomas fell off the tracks and is stuck,” Gus replied, his bottom lip quivering.

“I’ll put the kettle on,” Ritza mused. “You better save Thomas.”

“Lead the way to ground zero, buddy,” Brad mused as Gus took his hand and dragged him to his room.

Paul cracked open his second beer at looked at Gina. “So, when are you going to move in?”

“Move in where?” Gina replied, not looking up from the television.

“To my place, remember? We talked about it yesterday.”

“Huh? Oh yeah,” Gina mused looking up from the television. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t know or don’t want to?”

“I like my apartment,” Gina sighed. “I’ve got quite attached, besides we spend more time here than at yours.”

“And you know the reason I moved from my place like this, because the rent was fucking ridiculous.”

“I know, I know.”

“We’re not going to agree on this, are we?” Paul breathed, gulping some beer.

“Probably not.”

“There’s one other option.”

“What?”

“We find somewhere else, somewhere that doesn’t hold too many fucked up memories.”

Gina pondered for a moment. “As long as they accept cats, I think it’s a great idea.”

“Did we just make an adult decision?” Paul gasped.

“You know, I think we did,” Gina nodded.

“We’ll be wearing fucking matching cardigans and sharing hemorrhoid cream before you know it.”

“Oh, now there’s an image.”

“It’s all right, I’ll train the kids to apply it,” Paul mused.

“Kids?” Gina said with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Paul smiled. Gina grabbed the beer from his hand and took several gulps, much to his surprise.

“Kids,” she said again, Paul nodded and held his beer away from her. “Us as parents? Christ.”

“Not getting any younger.”

“Or more mature,” Gina countered with a smile. “You’re not getting clucky, are you?”

“I was thinking of them more for your sake than mine. What do I want with some snotty little shit machine?” Paul said unconvincingly.

“Do you mean that?” Gina asked.

“Nah,” Paul mused and rested his head on her shoulder. “Freya told me if she was to have children she wanted a natural birth in the botanical gardens amongst nature. Something about it being good for the kid’s well being.”

“I’d like to see her in that much pain,” Gina breathed.

Paul sniggered, “I like it when you’re evil.”

“Aw, I like it when you’re evil too,” Gina cooed as they teasingly edged their lips closer.

“Whose idea was it to allow stupid bimbos in barely there bikinis onto the beach, huh?” Fenny snarled as she marched into the room.

“And pop goes the happy bubble,” Gina sighed.

“What happened?” Paul asked, drinking more beer.

“This anorexic looking harpy decided to ruin my concentration by talking loudly about her boyfriend troubles. Then she and her equally stupid friends took to having a water fight and drenching my sketchbook,” Fenny seethed.

“Did you deck her?” Gina asked.

“I may or may not have lobbed her cell phone into the ocean,” Fenny said innocently.

“Perfectly acceptable,” Paul agreed.

“Where’s Brad?” Fenny asked, falling into an armchair.

“Out,” Gina shrugged. “Don’t know where, but he said he wouldn’t be long.”

“Fair enough,” Fenny shrugged and settled in to watch television. “So what have you two been doing?”

“Nothing,” Gina sighed.

“Unfortunately,” Paul added.

It was just after seven when the four arrived at a palatial residence on the harbour. There were coloured lights, loud music, and tonnes of cars and throngs of people bustling about. Gina parked her car and then led the others to the opened back gate. The back garden was huge and carefully manicured. There was an already full pool and spa and a plume of smoke from one corner indicated where several barbecues were working overtime to feed everyone. They’d barely set foot in the garden when Amanda appeared and wrapped Gina in a hug.

“I believe congratulations are in order,” she grinned looking at Paul who smiled back politely.

“Thank you,” Gina mused, looking at Paul. “Paul, you’ve met Amanda, she wants to get into your trendy faded jeans.”

Paul sniggered as Amanda’s cheeks reddened. “Anytime Amanda, you just ask,” he teased.

“You guys want drinks?” Fenny piped up.

“By asking us do you actually mean, you want a drink and just don’t know where to go?” Gina smirked.

“Oh shut up,” Fenny huffed. “I’ll find myself a drink,” she added and disappeared into the crowds.

“Beer?” Paul asked, looking at Brad. Brad nodded. “I’ll save Fen from certain sexual harassment,” he added and shot off between two men in board shorts.

“Now what?” Brad asked.

“You can show me that big knife you promised,” Gina teased as someone raced past with a phenomenally large water pistol.

“Okay Marge,” Brad chided as they went in search of somewhere to sit.