The shrill beeping of the alarm clock woke Gina and without opening her eyes she reached out with one hand and switched it off. The fact it had gone off meant she already knew what time it was, 6:30am. It wasn’t that she wanted to get up at such a god-awful hour, but she had to get back to Sydney and earn her pay. Although, the fact that Paul had somehow ended up using her back as a pillow was almost enough to convince her that work could wait.

“Paul,” she yawned. He didn’t even flinch. “Paul.”

“Mmm,” came the barely audible reply.

“We’ve gotta get up, hon.”

“Why?”

“We have a plane to catch in a hour.”

“Fuck it.”

“That would be physically impossible.”

Paul gave a weary laugh and planted a kiss in the middle of Gina’s back. He trailed sleepy kisses up her back, the last one being on her shoulder before his head dropped onto the pillow next to hers.

“I promise you can crawl back into bed when we get home,” she cooed as she twisted the hair on the back of his neck.

“You’ll have to get me out of bed first,” he smiled.

“Well, if you can haul your arse into the bathroom, I’ll soap you down.”

“That’s blackmail, you know.”

“It’s your choice, hon,” Gina mused as she brushed her lips against his and then slid out of bed.

“Do I get to choose which bits you soap?” Paul asked as he pulled himself to a sitting position. “Oh man, this is unnatural.”

“Be grateful we’re not going to Tai Chi,” Gina teased as she slid on her robe.

“Don’t go there, please,” Paul groaned as he gingerly got to his feet, his head swimming as a result of only being semi-hungover. “You know, I’ve had so little sleep I’m not even properly hungover?”

“And this is bad why?” she asked, disappearing into the bathroom.

“It’s not bad, just surreal,” he replied, sauntering into the room scratching his head as Gina adjusted the water. “I’m not quite drunk, but not quite sober either.”

“You’re also butt naked,” Gina mused looking him up and down.

“Does my naked body offend you?”

“No, makes me giggle though,” she sniggered. “Get in, then.”

Paul slid into the shower and stood motionless under the water, letting it do as it wanted. He didn’t have the energy to do much more than run his fingers through his hair. Gina de-robed and joined him. She squirted some fruity-smelling shower gel into her hands and took to massaging it into his chest until it lathered.

“So, do I get to rub shower gel into your chest later?” Paul grinned.

“Why wait until later?” Gina shrugged and passed him the bottle.

Brad was woken by some highly amusing song that was about wanting to have sex with Madonna. He tried to reach the radio but Fenny had her head on his chest, arms around his torso, and her legs wrapped around one of his. So even if he’d wanted to move, he couldn’t have. Brad looked at the clock again and realised if they didn’t get up soon there was more than a possibility that Gina would eviscerate the pair of them for making her miss the flight. He gently moved his arm that was around Fenny, and then the other that had spent much of its time drawing small circles around the monkey on her hip.

“Why are you moving?” Fenny mumbled sleepily.

“We’ve got a flight to catch,” Brad replied, a smile eminent in his voice.

“Do we have to?” she groaned.

“Gina has to go to work.”

“That wasn’t what I was referring to.”

“You don’t want to go back to Sydney?”

“Nope. Too much shit there to deal with. Andy, Danny, Ritza, Freya. Let’s just elope or something.”

“We could flee to Queensland and grow sugar?”

“No, let’s go back to Berri and become orange farmers like we said we would.”

“I like that idea,” Brad perked as he let one of his hands slip back onto her hip. A smile spread across Fenny’s face and she started leaving soft kisses on Brad’s chest, before sliding on top of him and lifting her head to capture him in a kiss. Brad let his hands roam over her body and they simultaneously groaned into each other’s mouths. Their moment of sexual exploration was shattered when there was a knock on the door.

“Hey you two, you can fuck as much as you like when we get back to Sydney, now get some pants on and get out here,” Gina demanded.

“Damn,” Fenny huffed as she nipped at Brad’s jaw. He rolled her over onto her back and started working on that spot on her neck. The more he worked the greater Fenny’s breathing increased. Then he suddenly stopped and looked her in the eyes.

“To be continued,” he smiled, dropping a quick kiss on her lips and then slipping out from beneath the sheets.

Fenny lay there annoyed he’d stopped and already counting the seconds until they’d be back in Sydney and she could tear his clothes off again.

Fenny and Brad wandered into the lobby hand in hand and found Gina sitting on one of the large, black leather couches. Paul was lying on the rest of the couch with his head in her lap as she stroked his hair.

“Finally, thought you were never coming,” Gina grumbled.

“That is the wrong turn of phrase, babe,” Paul mused, eyes closed.

Brad and Fenny looked slightly embarrassed and let go of each other’s hand. Brad shoved his hands into his pockets and Fenny pretended to be interested in the brochures on a nearby coffee table.

“Are we ready to go then?” Brad asked, breaking the sudden moment of sleep deprived tension.

“Yeah, there’s a taxi waiting,” Gina perked and nudged Paul to get up. He groaned as he sat up. Realising he looked far worse off than Brad who didn’t appear to be at all seedy, Paul concluded Brad was probably so fucked up on pheromones he wouldn’t notice if he was hungover or not.

“So, where do you want to go?” Gina asked as she drove away from the airport once they were back in Sydney. “Your place or mine?”

“Better drop me home so I can hunt out come clean underwear,” Paul mused.

“Please tell me that’s not an indication of why the bag you brought was so small,” Fenny groaned.

“It was less that 48 hours, you don’t need to change your Reg Grundies,” Paul declared.

“Reg Grundies?” Fenny asked, bewildered.

“It’s rhyming slang,” Gina explained.

“Ah, now I get it,” Fenny nodded and looked at Brad. “Do you agree with Paul’s philosophy?”

“Of course, it’s a proven fact that underwear doesn’t need to be changed for at least three days,” Brad perked.

“Four,” Paul piped up. “Normal, inside out, back to front, back to front inside out.”

“Men are disgusting,” Fenny cringed.

“That’s why they have women or effeminate lovers,” Gina laughed

A short while later, Gina pulled the car to a stop outside Paul’s apartment building.

“Man, now I have to get out and walk,” Paul grumbled.

“Brad could carry you,” Gina suggested.

“I’d pay to see that,” Fenny agreed.

“I’m not carrying him,” Brad scorned.

“It’s ok, I might just crumple in the stairwell and have to stay there until someone takes pity on me and helps me to my door,” Paul yawned. “That’s of course unless you want to come with me?” he added looking hopefully at Gina.

“I’d love to but I promised Amanda I’d at least pop into work” Gina sighed.

“How very professional of you,” Paul teased.

“Hey, you’re the one that encouraged me to have better work ethic.”

“You can have a better work ethic,” Paul nodded. “Just not when I want to use you as a pillow.”

“You’re such a charmer,” Gina mused as Paul unclipped his belt and leaned across to kiss her.

“Hey, there’s people present back here,” Brad piped up as Paul was just about in Gina’s lap.

“I’ll get to you,” Paul giggled and any tenderness in the kiss was lost in laughter. He clambered out of the car, grabbed his bag from the trunk and flashed a smile before disappearing into the building.

“I take it you guys are coming home with me?” Gina sighed as she twisted around to look at Brad and Fenny in the back seat.

“Is that ok?” Fenny asked.

“As long as I don’t have to listen to your screams of ecstasy, I don’t care,” Gina shrugged and turned back to the wheel.

Paul unlocked the door of his apartment and dumped his bag on the floor. He’d deal with it later, or let Gina deal with it later. He dropped his keys on the coffee table and kicked off his sneakers before trying to decide what was of most importance.

“Finally, he returns.”

Paul turned to the bedroom door to see Freya in nothing but a see-through black negligée, leaning against the doorframe.

“Freya,” he swallowed.

“Who did you expect?” she mused and padded across the room to him.

“That’s an interesting outfit you’re almost wearing,” he half whimpered.

“Thanks, I bought it just for you,” she cooed. “I’ve missed you so much,” she added and gently took his hands, guiding him into the bedroom. Freya pushed Paul back onto the bed and then straddled him, her lips teasingly nipping at his neck as she undid the buttons on his shirt and caressed his bare flesh.

“Freya, I’m really tired,” Paul breathed.

“Shh,” she pouted. “Just enjoy it.” Her hand slid to his belt and undid it in one swift movement.

“Freya don’t, please,” Paul begged as she worked on the button fly. She moved her lips from his chest to his mouth. He couldn’t take it anymore and shoved her off onto the bed. He jumped up, his shirt hanging open and his pants exposing his black boxers.

“What’s wrong?” Freya gasped.

Paul ran his fingers through his hair. “I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“I can’t do this.”

“Why?” Freya asked, getting to her feet.

Paul wanted to tell her about Gina and how much he loved her, but Freya looked so vulnerable and he didn’t have the heart. “I know about Brad.”

Freya’s hands shot to her mouth. “How do you know? Who told you?”

“Brad told me. Well, Fen told me first. The point is, you betrayed me,” Paul declared, doing his best to sound hurt.

“I never meant to, we were drunk. It just happened,” Freya sobbed and clutched Paul’s arm.

“Oh, so it’s all right you fucked one of my closest friends while I was out of town for 48 hours then?” Paul scorned.

“No, it was a mistake,” Freya pleaded. “Please Paul, can’t you forget about it? I love you.”

Paul looked away at a painting on the wall. He’d been in this situation before, but at least when Gina fucked up, her apologies were heartfelt and not as clichéd as some bad soap. He looked back at Freya who now had tears running down her cheeks.

“I think you should go,” he said sternly.

Freya stepped away from him and grabbed her clothes from the dresser. She pulled them on hurriedly and fled the apartment. Paul flopped onto the bed and closed his eyes. He wished he felt remorse, but the truth was he’d been looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship, and her infidelity was the perfect solution for a confrontational coward.

Brad emerged from the bathroom to find Fenny, who had already showered and was sporting one of his t-shirts, with her back against the headboard and scribbling away in her sketchbook.

“Now there’s something I haven’t seen in a while,” Brad mused as he flumped onto the bed beside her and looked at the drawing she was working on. “Flowers, huh?”

“Yeah, I was fascinated by the way one of Gina’s gerberas was sitting,” Fenny nodded as she felt one of Brad’s hands slip onto her thigh. “Hey, artist at work here.”

“You know you never told me why you tasted salty last night, well this morning.”

“Me, Gina and Abbie went swimming at the beach.”

“At night?”

“And butt naked.”

“Oh,” Brad perked. “I wish I’d been there.”

“Me too,” Fenny smiled as she slapped his hand away which was creeping under the t-shirt.

Brad sniggered to himself. “Oh hey, I’ve got something for you,” he chirped, turned to the bedside draws and opened the top one. He dropped a familiar pink bag into Fenny’s lap.

“Oh god, the underwear you bought in Paris,” Fenny laughed as she put down the sketchbook and pencil and picked up the bag. “Not underwear,” she added and pulled out a small felt bag that was tied with a gold cord. She undid the cord and tipped the contents of the bag into the palm of her hand and burst into giggles. Brad had bought her a bracelet that was made up of tiny little silver monkeys, like the ones you’d find in a Barrel o’ Monkeys toy.

“Do you like it?” he asked

“It’s so cute and unique,” Fenny smiled and held out her wrist for him to put it on.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to give you that,” Brad sighed. “Oh wait, I guess you do.”

“It’s so amazingly sweet,” Fenny cooed as she looked at the bracelet again and then slid her hands onto Brad’s cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. His hands instantly crept under the t-shirt.

“So is this the continuation of earlier this morning?” Fenny breathed.

“And in glorious surround sound,” Brad mused and pulled her down on top of him.

Gina arrived at work feeling slightly cranky from lack of sleep, but decided it was better than having to endure Brad and Fenny fucking like bunnies.

“Good weekend?” Amanda asked as Gina dropped her bag and slid into her chair.

“Very nice, thank you,” Gina replied coyly.

“And those trendy faded jeans?”

“Well and truly gone through.”

“That’s my girl,” Amanda chuckled as Freya stormed into Gina’s office, her eyes obviously red and puffy from crying.

“Problem?” Gina asked.

“Paul’s angry with me. I think it’s over,” Freya sobbed and fell into a chair.

“And that’s my cue to leave,” Amanda declared and padded out of the office.

“Why? What have you done?” Gina asked bluntly.

“I stupidly got drunk and had sex with that idiot American.”

“Andy?”

“Brad.”

“Oh, well then, I’m not surprised he’s pissed at you.”

“What do I do? How do I make it up to him?” Freya begged.

“Do you think it’s worth it?”

“Of course it is, why wouldn’t it be?”

“Well — and don’t get me wrong here — but you guys don’t have a lot in common,” Gina shrugged, “and you do manipulate and try to change him.”

Freya got to her feet and looked angrily at Gina. “How dare you, who are you to tell me what Paul likes and dislikes.”

Gina slowly got to her feet, crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “Who am I? I’m his wife.”

Freya’s eyes went wide and her mouth fell open. “No,” she said, shaking her head.

“Yes,” Gina replied and pointed out her wedding ring that she realised she’d never actually taken off.

Freya was lost for words and backed out of the office. Gina followed and watched as Freya dashed from the room. She had a fair idea where she’d be heading and grabbed her keys.

“What did you do?” Amanda asked hurrying over.

“She’s just found out who Mad Rectum Plot is,” Gina sighed. “I’ll be back, maybe.”

“You’re obsessed with my tattoo,” Fenny mused as Brad started making circles around the small monkey again.

“It’s the coolest thing anyone has ever done for me,” Brad smiled.

“My pleasure,” Fenny nodded. “I love your tattoo too, cos it’s my name,” she added and traced the letters with her finger.

“I could quite happily spend all day right here,” Brad announced before there were several loud raps on the door.

“Have to answer that first,” she sighed as he slid out of bed and pulled on his boxers. He sauntered out of the room and over to the front door, which he opened and nearly died.

“Do you ever wear clothes?” Danny announced as he shifted uncomfortably in his suit.

“I leave them off for you,” Brad countered.

“You’re taking too long, who…” Fenny paused as she stepped into the hallway sporting Brad’s t-shirt again and caught sight of Danny. He looked suddenly very uncomfortable.

“Maybe I should go,” he announced.

“I think that’d be a…”

“Don’t be absurd,” Fenny announced, cutting Brad off. “What did you want?” she added as Brad made himself scarce.

“I just wanted to see how you were,” Danny shrugged. “But I can see you’re more than well.”

“Sorry Dan,” she said softly as she approached him.

“Oh don’t be, you love Brad, I know that. I’m happy, really.”

Fenny wasn’t convinced and wrapped him up in a hug. She might have spent the morning with Brad, but there was still something comforting about being in Danny’s arms. He pulled away somewhat abruptly and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Um, just so you know. Andy is on a semi warpath. Not only does he ignore me or give me menial tasks, but also, he likes to constantly inform me how he’s going to win you back. I felt you should be warned.”

“Thank you. I’ll have to try and have a rational conversation with him, get it through that thick American head of his that we are so over.” Fenny smiled weakly before they shared a few uncomfortable moments of silence.

“Anyway, I should go leave you and Sherwood to it,” Danny announced.

“Okay,” Fenny nodded and watched as he turned to leave. “Dan,” she said without thinking and stepped forward, pressing her lips against his. They shared a few seconds of a heated kiss, then Danny, looking confused, left. Fenny let out a long sigh and shut the door to go back to Brad.

Freya burst into Paul’s apartment and marched into the bedroom where he was curled up asleep. She grabbed a book from the bedside table and chucked it at him.

“What the fuck!” Paul gasped and rubbed his shoulder where the book had left an imprint.

“You lied to me,” Freya wailed.

“About what?” Paul grumbled as he rubbed his face and threw back the covers.

“Being married.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? That’s all you’ve got to say?”

“It wasn’t intentional,” Paul grumbled as he pulled on his jeans and a t-shirt.

“What? You’d just forgotten, had you?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Well I am fucking hurt,” Freya hissed as Gina flew into the room. Freya turned to glare at her. “And I thought you were my friend.”

“I am your friend,” Gina said weakly.

“Friend? You deceived me as much as he did.”

“Hey, he told me not to tell you. I would have told you to fuck off ages ago otherwise,” Gina said nonchalantly as Paul shot her daggers.

Freya turned back to Paul. “So tell me, do you love her, or are you using her like you used me?”

Gina wrung her hands and focussed her attention on the book that was now on the bed, A Dummies Guide to Fung Shui, and then looked back at Paul whose face had softened.

“Of course I love her,” he breathed. Gina felt her heart flutter and she was struck by the sudden realisation that they did in fact love each other, they were married, and why the hell were they so fucked up in the first place.

“There’s no chance in us giving it another go?” Freya asked timidly.

“Nope,” Paul replied, his eyes still locked on Gina’s.

“Are you kidding, you even think about touching him with one of your bony little hands and I’ll insert my size seven up your arse,” Gina declared as she raised an eyebrow.

Freya descended into a fresh fit of tears. “You can both go to hell,” she wailed and fled the room.

“Fucking hell,” Paul sighed, breaking he and Gina’s locked gaze. He sat on the end of the bed, his head in his hands. Gina padded over and joined him, rubbing his back gently.

“You’re not allowed to date anymore, the women you choose are too fucked up, man,” she mused.

Paul lifted his head and smiled. “If I ever think about being unfaithful again, I give you the right to beat me.”

“Can I do it anyway?” Gina smirked.

Paul brought his hand to her cheek and kissed her softly. “Right now I’m so in love with you, you could put a dog collar on me and take me walkies and I wouldn’t care.”

Gina started to giggle and wrapped her arms around him as they fell back onto the bed.