7 – Royal in the Afternoon

“Get up.”

Paul opened one eye and saw Freya standing over him, arms crossed and sporting a pink, velour tracksuit.

“What the fuck for?” he managed to grumble as he struggled to keep his eye open.

“I’ve enrolled us in Tai Chi classes,” Freya declared.

“What? Why?”

“I think it would be good for both of us to participate in some activities together.”

“Fine, but does it have to be Tai Chi?”

“Yes, it’s fun, healthy and outdoors,” she declared as she snatched the blanket he was trying hard to keep wrapped around himself.

“What time is it?” Paul huffed as he struggled to sit up.

“6am.”

“6am, 6am, fuck that, I’m going back to sleep,” Paul spat.

“I thought you loved me?” Freya scorned.

“I do.”

“Then do this, for me.”

Paul let out a low scowl. “Fine, I don’t have a tracksuit though.”

“Course you do, I thought it’d be cute if we had matching ones. Well, except yours is blue,” she perked.

Paul gave Freya a weak smile and if it wasn’t for the fact he was only in his boxer shorts, he might have run from the apartment and never stopped. Not only had Freya changed his diet and his drinking habits and stolen his right to sleep until late afternoon, but she’d bought him a blue, velour tracksuit to wear while they participated in sport, in the park, while normal people were still in bed. What the hell had happened to his life?


Brad blearily opened his eyes and checked his watch. It was 7am, he could feel Gina snuggled into his back, and to be honest, he was enjoying the feeling of her warm skin against his. He lifted his arm and looked at her sleeping form. She looked so peaceful that it was almost a shame to wake her. But Brad knew she’d use his testicles for something unsavory if she were late for work.

“Gina, wake up,” Brad mused, reaching his hand around to shake her hip.

“No, I’m comfy,” she replied.

“You’ve got work.”

“Great, another day of Freya in my face.”

“You can beat her with a stapler for all I care, but you’ve gotta get up.”

She gave a small, tired giggle. “To hell with it.”

“That’s not the attitude, you’ve only just gotten your job back.”

“Well I’m enjoying my first sleep for months.”

Brad twisted around to look at her and she gave him a tired smile. “Fine, we’ll do this the hard way.” He dragged himself up and threw the covers back.

“Hey, it’s cold now,” she grumbled and propped herself up as she fumbled for the covers. Before she could get a hand on them, he swept her up in his arms and carried her toward the bathroom.

“Hey, what the fuck are you doing?” Gina gasped.

“Encouraging some work ethic,” Brad mused as he set her down in the shower and reached for the cold tap as he held her under the showerhead.

“NO!” she squealed as the cold water cascaded over her, soaking her singlet and shorts. He stepped back and shook the water from his hands as he sniggered mischievously.

“You bastard,” she giggled as she tried to pry her wet, white singlet from her skin.

“Yes, I got one up on you,” Brad grinned, thrusting his fist in the air as Gina stood on her toes to reach the shower head, which she twisted and the jets of water sprayed down the front of Brad, soaking him thoroughly.

“Kiss my arse,” Gina laughed as Brad wiped the water from his eyes and spat some more from his mouth.


Fenny woke to the sound of loud banging on her hotel room door. Andy had left over an hour ago and she’d meant to get up but had fallen asleep again, exhausted after Andy had spent the time before he left yelling at the TV and scowling about how his shirt was wrinkled. So, it was with great reluctance that she was forced to drag herself out of bed and pad over to the door. She unlocked it and was surprised to see Danny there, sporting a dark suit and looking more than unhappy.

“Hey,” Fenny yawned, “you looked pissed.”

“Your fuckwit of a lover decided to hold a meeting, so there goes our morning,” Danny grumbled as he shuffled into the room.

“Why doesn’t that surprise me,” she grumbled.

“Do you want me to reiterate? Your lover is a fuckwit,” Danny huffed as he sat himself on the edge of the bed.

“So how long are you going to be stuck in the meeting for?” Fenny asked as she sat herself next to him, her head resting on his shoulder.

“I probably won’t see you until tonight, by which time you’ll be looking absolutely stunning and being traipsed around like some Barbie doll on Andy’s arm,” Danny sighed, letting his head rest against hers.

“Oh, that shitty cocktail party,” Fenny huffed. “I’d forgotten about that.”

“Wish I could,” Danny muttered. “So, tell me how the dinner went last night.”

“Not much to tell really, Freya made us eat atrocious vegetarian food while she was oblivious to the fact Paul and Gina couldn’t keep their eyes off of each other. In fact, I’m more than certain they had a quickie in the kitchen while Freya was entranced in CNN.”

“And how was Brad?”

Fenny couldn’t keep a small smile creeping onto her face. “Good. Great even.”

“And?”

“And, we may or may not have made several verbal gestures about wanting to get each other naked,” Fenny mused. “And why am I telling this to you?” she added, lifting her head.

“Because you’re having the same thoughts about me,” Danny smiled and gently brought his lips to hers. Fenny let herself give into his kiss as her hands crept up his chest.

Danny laughed as he pulled away. “As much as I’d love to let you rip my clothes off, I have to get to that meeting.”

“Damn,” Fenny smiled as Danny caught her in another quick kiss.

“I look even more forward to seeing you in that dress tonight,” he mused as he got to his feet.

“I wonder what Andy would think if he knew that’s what you were thinking while he talks in great detail about his ideas?”

“Maybe I should ask,” Danny perked as he opened the door. “He’d probably say, ’Whatever Brannigan, just do it quietly and get me those statistics’.”

“Hey, just like our sex life,” Fenny sniggered.

Danny left the room laughing and Fenny headed for the shower.


Paul stood in the early morning light, in the middle of a park with what he considered a group of Sydney’s finest nutbars. They were mostly body-obsessed women and some podgy middle aged businessmen who thought doing Tai Chi would help them avoid a stroke. Paul had tried to take it seriously, he really had, but it just wasn’t in him to do so. In fact he ended up taking the piss and doing moves from the Karate Kid movies. He’d only started doing that because he’d found himself drifting off to sleep while standing. He looked at Freya who seemed to be having a spiritual awaking or possibly an orgasm if the Feng Shui of the park was right.

“Freya,” he whispered.

“Shh,” Freya scorned. “I’m concentrating.”

“I’m going for a piss,” Paul declared and made his way through the other Tai Chi freaks and headed toward a toilet block in the distance. Before he got in the door he could smell that wonderful stench of stale urine and cigarettes. Paul looked gingerly at the urinal and then shuffled into a cubicle. He put the badly scratched seat down and sat himself on it as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket.


“You made breakfast?” Gina gasped as she wandered into the kitchen doing the last of the buttons of her shirt up.

“Yes, well having cold water sprayed on you kinda wakes you up,” Brad mused as he dished up the scrambled eggs he’d made onto two plates, along with some toast.

“Yeah, I had noticed that,” Gina nodded. “Oh, hey that’s my phone,” she added and dashed into the living room and grabbed her phone from the coffee table.

“Hello?” she said, an air of curiosity to her voice.

“Genie,” Paul said, sounding almost breathless.

“Paul, why on earth are you calling for at this hour? What have you done?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why are you even awake?”

“Freya enrolled us in 6am Tai Chi lessons.”

Gina cracked up laughing as she headed back into the kitchen.

“Who is it?” Brad asked.

“Paul, Freya dragged him to Tai Chi,” she replied. Brad started sniggering.

“Thank you for mocking me,” Paul scorned.

“Anytime. So where are you now?”

“Locked is some foul smelling public toilet, reading graffiti off the back of the door like ‘Fuck Off’ and someone’s drawn a penis, at least I think that’s what it’s supposed to be…”

“Does this story have an end?”

“I’m in a blue, velour tracksuit.”

Gina burst into giggles. “Oh hon, I’d pay to see that.”

“Wish I hadn’t told you now.”

“Me too, I’m going to be laughing about it all day.”

“Genie.”

“What? Did you just phone up to whinge?”

“Yes. And I wanted us to meet for lunch, I think we need to talk about last night.”

Gina covered the mouthpiece of her phone and looked at Brad. “He wants me to go to lunch so we can talk about last night,” she said in a hushed voice.

“So go, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” Brad mused.

Gina uncovered the mouthpiece. “I’d love to, I’ll supply lunch, meet me at Bondi, you know where.”

“You sound like something out of a spy movie: This phone will self destruct in five seconds…”

“You are such a goit.”

Paul sniggered, “Bondi right.”

“Absolutely, now go back to your woman,” Gina ordered, hung up and turned back to her eggs and toast.

“I would love to see Paul doing Tai Chi,” Brad perked.

“He’d end up getting bored and doing moves from the Karate Kid,” Gina sighed. “Anyway, enough about him. What have you got planned for today?”

“I thought I might go and see Ritza again. Yesterday ended too abruptly. Maybe I’ll take her and Gus to lunch,” Brad declared.

“Abruptly how?” she asked.

“Passionate kiss abruptly.”

“Brad, she’s a distressed woman. You don’t pop up out of the blue and cram your tongue down her throat.”

“She didn’t complain,” he shrugged.

“So romantic,” she mused. “I’ve got a better idea, take Ritza and Gus to dinner but spend the morning with Fen. You guys could hardly keep your eyes off of each other last night.”

Brad looked at Gina sheepishly. “Won’t she be with Andy?”

“He’ll be in some poxy meeting, and hopefully Danny will be too.”

“Danny?”

“Forget I mentioned that name,” Gina said guiltily.

Brad raised an eyebrow at Gina. “Is she seeing someone else?”

“Danny is an old friend of mine, he’s a nice guy. He’s also working with Andy, and apparently Fen and Dan have hit it off quite well…”

“Quite well as in she’s fucking him?”

“It’s lust, it’ll pass, and I don’t condone it, by the way. I told her off,” Gina said matter-of-factly “Brad, I hate to say it, but of you don’t make your move soon, you’re going to lose her.”

“You’re right, I’ll go see Fen,” Brad breathed. “In fact I’ll go right now,” he added, getting to his feet.

“Excuse me, you’ll make your bed, clean the bathroom and wash the dishes before you go anywhere,” Gina declared, sculling the last of her tea.

“What? Who are you, my Mom?” Brad gasped.

“No, I’m much worse. It won’t take ten minutes,” Gina mused, hunting around for her keys.

“No wonder Paul got himself another woman,” Brad teased, Gina shot him daggers. “Joke, I would never…it’s…I’m going to…just go to work, ok?”

Gina found her keys, shook her head at him and grabbed her bag as she left.


Fenny found herself walking the familiar route to Gina’s front door. She couldn’t think of anything else to do and she might as well hang out in Gina’s apartment and watch TV in surroundings that were familiar rather than spend the day in the sterile hotel. She fumbled for her set of keys and unlocked the door and was greeted by the familiar sounds of The B52’s resonating from the bathroom. She dropped the keys back in her bag, which she dumped in the living room and then padded down the hall and peeked into the bathroom where Brad was singing as he attacked the grouting with a cloth and spray bottle.

“What are you doing?” Fenny mused as she leant against the doorframe.

“Fen, shit,” Brad gasped as he slipped on the wet floor and smacked his head into the showerhead. “Christ, stupid fucking thing.” Fenny started to giggle. “That’s not funny, it hurt,” he huffed.

“Aw, you poor thing,” she teased.

“Hey I’ve already dragged Gina under the water today, I’m not past doing the same to you.”

“Oh really?” Fenny said, curiously raising an eyebrow.

“She needed encouraging to go to work, we weren’t naked or anything.”

“Right. And you’re scrubbing the bathroom because?”

“She told me to and I find Gina slightly frightening,” he declared. “So what are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“I had to get away from Freya.”

“Andy’s working…again.”

“Danny busy too, huh?”

Fenny looked at Brad shocked. “How do you know about…I’ll kill her.”

“Hey, doesn’t bother me,” Brad shrugged as he put the spray bottle and cloth on the floor of the shower and made his way over to her. “I mean, you’re not my girlfriend anymore, are you?”

“No,” Fenny agreed, slightly miffed that he wasn’t angry.

“I mean, sure Andy can sweep you off your feet and Danny can give you wild sex, but can any of them…” He gave her a wry smile and moved closer, one arm sliding around her waist and pulling her to him. “…do this?” he breathed and brought his lips close to hers, she moved to catch his lips but he pulled away and she looked at him slightly taken aback. He used his free hand to push the hair back from her neck and then began to softly trail kisses over the bare skin. Fenny felt her legs go weak. Yes Andy could romance her, and the sex with Danny was fantastic, but only Brad could make her go weak at the knees. Fenny felt her breathing increase as Brad’s kisses turned to nibbles and she felt her fingers start to toy with the buttons on his shirt. Brad moved his lips from her neck and caught her gaze.

“I miss you Fen,” he said softly, and before either could say another word they’d engulfed each other in a passionate kiss. Fenny pressed herself as close to him as possible as her fingers grabbed handfuls of his hair, while his hands caressed her skin, sending feelings through her body that no one else could. Brad backed Fenny out of the bathroom and across the hall into his room, where they fell onto the bed, tearing at each other’s clothes and losing themselves in a mass of unresolved passion.


Gina arrived at work and tried to avoid Freya but was caught as she attempted to sneak into her office.

“Morning Gina,” she perked.

“Yeah, morning,” Gina replied and tried to look busy as she fingered through her inbox.

“I just want to apologise about Paul’s behavior last night,” Freya sighed.

“What behavior?” Gina asked.

“The drinking and vulgarity, I ask him not to do it in front of guests.”

“Oh hey, it doesn’t bother me. I find it hysterical.”

Freya looked miffed. “And I’m sorry he lied to me about you knowing Brad, I feel so stupid.”

“It’s just Paul being a wanker, it’s not an issue really.”

“We had another fight last night.”

“Really, what about?”

“Everything. He’s so frustrating sometimes.”

“Yeah, look Freya, can we have this discussion some other time? I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“Oh, right,” Freya mumbled. “Sorry,” she added and left.

Gina looked at her blank computer screen. Damn her for being a nice person. She got out of her swivel chair and headed for Freya’s desk. Well if she was going to not work, she might as well not work while listening to Freya’s whining.


Fenny smiled as she lay engulfed in Brad’s warmth. At that moment it was the best feeling in the world, and the most comforting. It felt so right, and at that moment she wished that Andy and Danny would just disappear.

“Brad,” Fenny breathed as she left several soft kisses on his shoulder.

“Mmm.”

“I’m so sorry for being such a bitch to you in Edinburgh.”

His eyes opened and he looked at her dreamily. “You have no idea how much that hurt me.”

“I know, I regretted it everyday.”

“Then why didn’t you call or something, why’d you end up with him?”

“I was scared you wouldn’t want me. I know that sounds lame.”

“When haven’t I wanted you?” he scorned, stroking her cheek. “I love you Fen, I’ve always loved you.”

“Then why don’t we ever work?”

“Do you really want me to answer that question?” He asked somewhat bitterly.

Fenny sat up and looked down at Brad. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is…”

“You’re a hopeless liar.”

He sighed and looked at the ceiling and then looked at Fenny. “There’s someone else, kind of.”

“Kind of?” she asked, her voice more annoyed than she’d meant.

“Ritza,” Brad said quietly.

She looked at him horrified. “Ritza, the mad woman who tried to kill me and you and our friends, are you fucking insane?”

“The Ritza I know isn’t like that, she’s a beautiful loving woman with a gorgeous kid, and just because you haven’t seen that side of her, it’s not my fault.”

“You are fucking insane,” she spat as she clambered out of the bed and hunted for her clothes. “And it is your fault, it was your fault she held a gun to my head.”

“She was messed up. Some people cry when they’re messed up, some get violent, and some, some run away,” he hissed.

“Go to hell,” Fenny spat and stormed out of the room. Brad listened as the door slammed.


Paul whistled to himself as he balanced on the sea wall. He found Gina looking blankly out at the beach and crashing waves as she sat on the wall.

“Good afternoon,” he mused and sat himself beside her.

“Afternoon,” Gina smiled, as they looked at each other a little longer than necessary.

“So where’s lunch, I’m starving,” Paul declared.

“Close your eyes,” Gina perked.

Paul looked at her strangely but did as asked. Gina grabbed the rolled up newspaper that contained lunch and held it under Paul’s nose. His eyes shot open and he couldn’t help but beam.

“Fish and chips,” he gasped.

“Got it in one,” she chided and unwrapped the paper. Paul stuffed several chips into his mouth and gave a contended groan.

“Food, real food,” he perked.

“Well it was that or the tofu burger,” she teased.

“That’s not funny,” Paul scorned as he devoured more chips and some batter from his fish.

“But you in a velour tracksuit doing Tai Chi is hysterical.”

“Don’t ever tell any of my friends,” he mused as Gina handed him a bottle of Coke. “Coke as well, knew there was a reason I married you.”

She rolled her eyes. “So, you wanted to talk about last night?”

Paul swallowed his mouthful of Coke and screwed the lid back on. “Well, we don’t have to.”

“We had sex on your kitchen floor, I think we need to talk.”

“It was fun.”

“Yeah,” Gina nodded as she noticed Paul watching her. “What?”

“I’m feeling a ‘but’ coming on here,” he sighed and then let out an ungraceful burp. “Oops, sorry,” he mused.

“I don’t want to be just something for you to fuck, Paul,” Gina declared. “I don’t think that’s fair.”

“Excuse me? You think all I want is sex from you?”

“Well sex and food.”

“You think I’m that shallow?”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Prove to me you’re not.”

“I don’t have to prove anything, if you think that’s all I want from you…”

“Well what am I supposed to think? You don’t really give me much of a choice.”

“Genie, I’m in a relationship with Freya, what do you expect me to do?”

“You know what, fuck it. It doesn’t matter that I love you or that I came back here for you. If you want Freya, by all means have her, but I’m not just going to let you use me,” she spat as she got to her feet.

“Genie, that’s not what I…”

“Enjoy your chips,” Gina huffed as she marched off.

“Fuck,” Paul groaned as he stuffed another chip into his mouth.