“Are we bad people?” Aidan asked with a sigh as he sat back on the park bench. He stretched his arms and rested his elbows on the back.

“I wouldn’t say we’re bad per se,” Ben shrugged. “We’re helping them, really.”

“We walked out of their meticulously planned dinner, though,” Aidan countered. “I mean, sure, they were hiding in the bathroom under a veritable tonne of their own neurosis, but we just…left.”

Ben let out a long breath and sat up straight. “What’s done is done now. We can’t take it back.”

“You don’t think it makes us hypocrites, though?” Aidan frowned deeper as he spoke. “I mean we’ve done essentially the same as them.”

“God no,” Ben gasped. “This is helping them, believe me.”

“But I have a deep seated need to apologise.”

“I thought you were a man.”

“I’m an artist, we’re a bit on the sensitive side.”

“Dude, that’s a bit gay.”

“Hey, you’re the one who likes wrestling about with other men in tight pants.”

“That’s sport, Murdoch,” Ben huffed and puffed out his chest in the most macho way possible. “There’s nothing remotely homosexual about it.”

“Well artists don’t get naked and shower together after a particularly good bit of still life sketching.”

“Good point,” Ben nodded. “But you do sit there and draw other guys’ dicks.”

“We have female nude models too, you know,” Aidan mused. “You can spend hours just looking and tits and arse.”

“Oh you win, you so win.”

Both men fell silent and then slowly looked at each other in the fading light. There was no mistaking the guilt that was etched on both their faces.

“So what do we do now, then?” Ben sighed. “Do we go back.”

Aidan stared off in the distance for what seemed like eons. “No,” he said softly. “No, I think its time those two found the stones to come to us.”

“Oh my god I’m repellent,” Joaquin whined as she ate a spoonful of ice cream and then drank half of her fifth glass of champagne.

“I think we’re both repellent,” Adele sighed as she refilled her spoon.

“No, no, I’m more repellent,” Joaquin continued. “I’m the one who’s the tiniest bit in lust with them.” She paused, sipped more champagne and then got up and started searching for harder spirits. “Come to think of it, why would they flee from you?” she babbled as she opened the fridge. “I can understand the fleeing from me, but you…you’ve no sordid intentions with either of them.”

“You’re right, you’re repellent,” Adele nodded, trying not to laugh at Joaquin’s increasingly inebriated state. The last time she’d been this worked up she’d downed the best part of a bottle of Mudslide, then tried to climb over the bar to hug the barman, who she’d been convinced looked forlorn and whom she was sure would love her dearly and marry her if she could just get past the beer taps to his waiting arms. Instead she’d fallen off the bar, knocking over a man with a tray of beer. As if in slow motion, the mugs of beer had flown into the air and come down on Joaquin in a beer shower. Adele had had to pay for the lost beers, the traumatised barman and Joaquin’s dry cleaning.

“Where the hell is the hard liquor when I need it,” Joaquin huffed and contented herself with another spoonful of ice cream. “Why are you looking so miserable? You’re not repellent.”

“I’m feeling your pain,” Adele said without much conviction. The truth was she was dying on the inside. A wave of grief threatened to overtake her and it took all her energy to hold it back. Just when she’d thought she was making progress with Aidan, that she might finally be able to let go of all those little insecurities that were holding her back, things had, as usual, gone to shit. The worst of the whole situation was that she couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Trying to keep it bottled up was really starting to take its toll.

“What are we gonna do with all the food,” Joaquin sighed, finally changing the subject from being repellent. She looked over at Adele. “Del, are you crying?”

“I’m just sad at the food wastage,” Adele sniffed and got to her feet. “Think of the kids in Africa,” she added and fled to her room.

The rain pelted down as Adele and Joaquin stood gingerly under the small verandah at the entrance to their apartment block. Neither wanted to make the damp walk to the bus stop. Joaquin was pleased of the wet distraction to the morning, seeing as the friends had barely spoken since the disastrous dinner.

“We’ll be late if we don’t go soon,” she announced to Adele, who looked like she’d be happy to drown herself in a puddle.

“Yeah, I know,” Adele sighed and opened her umbrella. “Stupid weather.”

“Del, we’re in a serious drought, this drenching rain is excellent.”

“Says the hippy child.”

“Just because I’m environmentally aware doesn’t make me a hippy.”

“Bliss, you bought recycled toilet paper.”

“It was on special!” Joaquin said a little too quickly. “And anyway it’s not like it’s made from actual recycled toilet paper.”

“It’s unclean…”

“It’s good for the…”

“It chafes my arse.”

“Oh, too much information,” Joaquin frowned. Adele stared at her and she hung her head. “Mine too.”

“And?”

“I’ll pick up something soft and perfumed on my way home.”

Adele laughed without humour. Despite her undamaged repartee, she was still so miserable that it took all her strength not to cry an unstoppable flood.

Aidan hurried across the water-clogged asphalt, his jumper feeling wetter and heavier by the second. Breathless, he entered the corridor as the bell rang loudly. He broke into a run, slipped on the wet floor and narrowly avoided smacking into a group of lockers. Aidan took several deep breaths, ran his fingers through his hair, and then stepped into the classroom.

“You’re late, Sir,” announced a boy from the back. “Two minutes.”

“And you’ve got detention for being a smart arse,” Aidan chided and gave a fake laugh. “That’s makes us even, doesn’t it.” The boy looked mortified while the rest of the home group laughed. “Now Sarah, can you go to the staffroom and empty my pigeon hole, and while she does that, let’s have Colin come up here and tell us all about what he did last night.” Colin, a quiet boy who was reading a Harry Potter book turned red and looked like he’d rather die.

Joaquin peered through the open elevator doors and was pleased not to see Leo anywhere in sight. She gingerly stepped into the hall, glanced again, and then hurried through the open-planned office until she came to her cubicle. She glanced around the corner of the padded divider and saw Leo at his computer. Joaquin mentally cursed and wondering if she could get away with hiding out in the toilet with her laptop for the rest of her life.

“Are you gonna stand there all day, Bliss?” Leo mused, not looking up from his monitor.

“How did you…”

“I could smell the neurosis.”

“Oh my god,” Joaquin gasped. “But I showered this morning.”

Leo looked at her pained. “For someone so talented, you can be a complete idiot sometimes.”

“I know,” Joaquin sighed and fell into her chair, a pout clearly on her face. She waited silently for a few moments, pre-empting the sarcastic mocking that was brewing inside Leo. The silence grew longer and she peered over her monitor to see that Leo was busy clicking his mouse.

The mock wasn’t coming.

“Hey Bliss,” he began without looking, and her stomach sunk again. “Can you help me pick a font, I’m really stuck here.”

“Uh, sure.” She let out an audible sigh and lazily rolled in her chair to his part of the desk.

“See, I think both of these work.”

“No, that one is hideous and all wrong.”

“How?”

“Just is.”

“Four years at college and that’s the best you can do?”

“Yes,” Joaquin nodded. “I’m not really in a work frame of mind.”

“Oh,” Leo said blankly. “You’re probably just getting your period,” he added and patted her knee as he turned back to his fonts.

“FORFUCKSSAKESAYSOMETHINGABOUTBENBEFOREIEXPLODE!”

Leo turned back to Joaquin and saw her wide-eyed and breathing rather heavily. “You’re not coping well at all, are you pumpkin.”

“Cheer up buttercup,” Joel perked as he seated himself on the edge of Adele’s desk.

“Don’t make me stab you,” she replied, looking forlornly at a manuscript.

“Dinner go badly?”

“Horribly.”

“How horrible.”

“Guests fleeing horrible.”

“Ooh that’s…that’s not good.”

“Really? Because I was kinda elated.”

“Ah Del,” Joel mused. “Even when you’re crushed you’re witty.”

“I’m a broken woman.”

“So what happened exactly.”

“Ben gave Jo flowers.”

“Oh my god! The bastard!” Joel gasped and Adele shot him daggers. “Yeah I remember…don’t want stabbed.”

“So she had a breakdown and I went to comfort her, and when we came back they were gone.”

“Have you talked to him since.”

“No, god no,” she babbled. “I’m so ashamed I couldn’t face him.”

He reached out and squeezed her shoulder. “He’s always reappeared before.”

“This feels different, Joel.”

“Wow there’s…there’s real human feeling attached there.”

“Great, thanks, I’m a fucking ice queen,” she spat, tears welling in her eyes.

“I’m only teasing, Del,” he said quickly. “Quite frankly, I don’t think he knows what he’s missing,” he added and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “And if he keeps upsetting you, I’ll kick the shit out of him.”

“You’re a good friend,” Adele smiled and slapped his leg.

Several days later, neither party had given in and broken the steadily thickening layer of ice. Joaquin, with a perverse happiness, quietly repressed the memories of the events. She decided that things had turned out in the manner expected of her life and the quicker she turned them into another corner of her neurosis, the better. Adele also had been very quiet about the whole incident and had taken to spending many hours in room listening to Missy Higgins while torturing herself about what could have been.

“I’m thinking it might be easier to call in sick,” Joaquin declared as she collected her sketchpad from the coffee table.

“And then what?” Adele mused. “You can’t avoid him forever.”

“I can try,” Joaquin mumbled as she stuffed the last of her charcoal pencils into her bag. “Can you give me a lift? I’ve procrastinated so much I’m running late.”

“I’m sure you can still make the bus.”

“Gee thanks, Del.”

“Petrol is very expensive nowadays and there’s really bad traffic, what with the road works and all…”

Joaquin stopped and looked suspiciously at her friend. “Are you trying to avoid taking me?”

“What? No,” Adele said a little too quickly. “I was just saying…” she cut herself off and snatched her keys up from the table. “Let’s go, shall we.”

They drove in silence for most of the way, the only sound coming from the radio that was spitting out one song every 30 minutes between endless commercials and inane jock talk.

“Is there something wrong?” Joaquin asked. “It’s not normal for you to be this quiet.”

“Sorry Bliss,” Adele replied and shot her friend a quick smile. “Just concentrating on the road.”

They fell quiet again until Adele pulled to a stop outside the school. They both looked up to see Fiona drop her supplies. The pencils scattered across the car park, and Joaquin and Adele shared an amused look, the relief of not seeing Aidan just yet etched clearly on both.

“Wish me luck,” Joaquin sighed as she unclipped her seatbelt and slid out of the car.

“You’ll be fine,” Adele chided and waited until Joaquin was disappearing into the distance before she rested her head against the steering wheel. Unlike Joaquin, she was not at all convinced she’d be fine.

Joaquin stopped and took a deep breath before she entered the classroom. Everyone was standing around looking quite lost and forlorn.

“He’s not here,” Fiona pouted. “I wanted to show him my assessment, too,” she added and motioned to the canvas beside her.

Joaquin stole a small look, decided whatever Fiona had done was too horrendous to contemplate, and then fell into the same feeling of loss as everyone else.

“What’re we going to do, then?” Maeve asked, addressing the room. “I really don’t want to miss a week of class time.”

There were noises of unified agreement and a few ideas were thrown around. Joaquin was more than happy to work on the still life she’d be trying to perfect for a couple of weeks.

“Oh I know,” Karen piped up. “Why doesn’t Jo take the class.”

“Uh, what?” Joaquin choked, a crushing wave of anxiety taking grip of her.

“What a great idea,” Maeve agreed. “You’re a lot more experienced than us, dear.”

“But I’ve never taught before,” Joaquin gasped. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.” The room filled with the noise of enthusiasm and encouragement and Joaquin realised they were waiting eagerly for her to begin sharing her knowledge. “Just give me three seconds,” she pleaded and hurried into the sanctity of the corridor.

“What are you doing?” Ben asked, leaning against the doorframe of Leo’s study.

“Talking to Misty,” Leo replied. “Y’know, like I always do.”

“Oh,” Ben sighed. “I’m bored. Can’t we go out or something.”

“I’m not stopping you.”

“Gee thanks, buddy.”

“Come on man, I haven’t spoken to Misty in two days.”

“Wow, how bad for you.”

“You’re just jealous.”

Ben gave a humourless laugh, “Dude, you don’t even know that Misty is a woman. What’s there to be jealous of?”

“It’d be easier if you could just admit your seething envy to yourself.”

“Get fucked,” Ben spat. “Oh wait, you can’t, because Misty is on the other side of the planet and is probably a fat balding guy called Ken.”

Leo rolled his eyes and flipped Ben off. “If its bothering you that much, just go and see Jo.”

“It’s not bothering me.”

“Good,” Leo mused. “Because I’d hate to see you if it did.”

Ben let out a grunt. “Come on man, let’s go out and get a couple of beers.”

“Let’s not.”

Ben let out something resembling a frustrated cry, stormed over and tore Leo’s modem from its perch on the desk.

“MISTY!” Leo gasped and looked crestfallen at the ‘you are not connected to the Internet’ message on his screen. “Give me my woman back!”

“No, not until after we’ve been out and had some fucking fun.”

Leo looked back at his webless computer and pouted. “Well, can I just log back in and tell her that I’m going out?”

“Don’t make me get a hammer…”

“I hate you.”

Adele pulled over to the side of the road as her mobile began the ring. She grabbed it from between the seats.

“Hello?”

“Oh my god!”

“Bliss, I left you ten minutes ago, what on earth have you done already?”

“Aidan hasn’t turned up and I’ve been elected the new teacher.”

“Oh, wasn’t expecting that.”

“Can you go and find out where he is, because I may end up locking myself in the supplies cupboard.”

“It’s that bad?”

“Well, no, but Fiona is making my head explode with her stupid.”

“Fair enough,” Adele mused and ended the call.

She drove as slowly as possible to Aidan’s block of flats. She really wasn’t sure what she was going to say to him. Something along the lines of, ‘Great, you’re not dead, bye now,’ seemed like a very good option.

Adele approached his door, steadied herself and knocked as loudly as she could. Seconds passed and he didn’t appear. Perhaps he was dead, so things were looking up because now if he were a corpse she wouldn’t have to face him. She knocked again just to be on the safe side. This time there was the sound of the lock and the door opened.

“What?” Aidan grunted, clearly having being woken from his sleep.

“Are you ok?” Adele asked as she took in his wrinkled clothes, stubble and drawn appearance.

“Del,” he said surprised. “What’re you doing here?”

“Jo was worried about you. You didn’t turn up to class.”

“Shit,” Aidan groaned and hurried back into his flat. Adele followed and watched him try and collect his things together. Instead he dropped everything and let out a long, low sigh.

“It’s ok, somehow Jo is teaching the class,” Adele soothed. “You look awful.”

“Thanks.”

“Ade.”

“I’m just tired,” he said defensively. “Working two jobs is really taking it out of me.”

“So I can see.” Adele frowned as Aidan visibly wobbled. “Maybe you should sit down.”

He ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed his face. “Are you angry at me?”

“For what?”

“Abandoning the dinner,” he replied. “I’ve been feeling shit about it.”

“Of course I’m not angry,” she said warmly. “But I’m worried about that state you’re in right now.”

“I’ll be right,” he lied and fought his legs, which wanted to collapse with exhaustion. “And hey, it’s worth it for the money.”

“I don’t think it is,” she countered.

“That’s crap,” he retorted. “You like money. You wouldn’t have that nice apartment, car, designer clothes and mountains of fancy food and wine.”

Adele looked at Aidan with utter confusion. “So I live comfortably. I don’t see what it’s got to do with you.”

He looked at her with a mix of pain and defeat. “Because I only took the extra job so I could have enough money to impress you.”

Adele was temporarily speechless. Aidan, who was so beautiful and perfect, had misread her entirely. “Oh Ade,” she breathed. “You don’t need to impress me.”

“But you’re so,” he paused and wracked his sleep deprived brain for the right words. “Professional and important, and I’m so…not.”

“You foolish man,” she smiled. “Your professional status has nothing to do with why I love you…I love you because…” she stopped mid-sentence, realised what she’d just said, and flagellated herself mentally for letting those words escape her.

Aidan said not a word. He moved close to her, smiled and kissed her gently on the forehead. “Del…”

She pulled away looking horrified, “I should, I should, um, go…”

“Del wait…” he begged, reaching for her arm. She pulled away and backed awkwardly toward the door.

“I think I left the washing on,” she babbled as she smacked into an easel, cussed and shot Aidan one more mortified look before she fled.

“Del!” he yelped as he chased after her, tripped over a discarded book on impressionism and tore out into the rain. He watched Adele’s car disappearing out of the parking lot and let out a strangled sigh.

“You’re going to catch your death.” Aidan looked up to see one of his elderly neighbours returning from a hard day of pokies and gin. She clutched her cat umbrella close to her chest incase the crazy barefoot man tried to steal it.

“I can only hope to be so lucky,” he mumbled, running his hand through his rain-soaked hair.

Joaquin fumbled with her key in the lock and fell into the hall. Unbalanced and wet, she pirouetted into the mirror and dropped all her art supplies on the floor. She glared at the mess accusingly and decided to return to it after she’d had words with Adele.

“Adele!” Joaquin snapped as October darted past her and began toying with a charcoal pencil. “ADELE!”

“What, Bliss? What molehill is a mountain now?” Adele grumbled, appearing from her room and looking unusually unkempt.

“Uh, you forgot to pick me up?”

“You got home and not murdered right?”

“I got soaked.”

“I can’t tell.”

Joaquin looked down at her dripping hair and shirt. “I feel I should be offended.” Adele rolled her eyes. “Did you find Aidan? An update would’ve been nice.”

“He’s got flu and is all gross and full of mucus.”

“Really? Surely they should’ve cancelled class or gotten a substitute?”

“It’s an adult education centre, they probably think you can work it out for yourselves.”

“It’s an adult education centre, so clearly we can’t” Joaquin flailed. “He better be better by next week because I am not dealing with Fiona and her delusions.”

“Yeah I wonder what that’s like.”

“Again I feel I should be offended…”

Adele shrugged. “Can I go back to bed now?’

Joaquin cocked her head to the side. “Are you ok?”

“Never better.”

“I hope you’re not getting the same flu as Aidan.” Adele raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think fuckwit flu is catching,” she huffed and slunk back into her room.

“Ok then,” Joaquin breathed and gave a bemused look to Adele’s door before heading back into the hall. “Oh Occy,” she groaned, discovering the floor covered in black charcoal kitty pawprints.

“Ben, I think this is a really bad idea,” Leo pleaded as Ben strode in front of him. They’d both consumed quite a lot of alcohol by this point, and between vodka shots and large beers, the conversation had ranged from Joaquin being too high maintenance with all her crazy, to how much he missed her, and finally ended with Ben declaring that he needed to speak with her immediately — he couldn’t wait any longer. “Dude, you have got to rethink this.”

“I’m sick of thinking, it’s time for stupid actions,” Ben declared as Leo stopped him collecting himself on a bus stop. “She needs to know how I feel.”

“I agree,” Leo nodded. “But maybe not when you’re drunk as fuck at 2am.”

“Leo, buddy, we can’t all solve our problems by switching on a modem and sending an e-card.”

“Misty really liked the mouse with the flower.”

Ben stopped and shook his head at his friend. “I’m sure she printed it out and pinned it to her mirror.”

They rounded the corner and found themselves at Adele and Joaquin’s apartment block. Ben looked up at the darkened windows and then glanced around the lot. He found a discarded shopping trolly, flipped it over and jumped on top.

“Ben, I’m asking you one more time to reconsider,” Leo begged in a low whisper.

“No.” Ben shook his head and then glanced back up at the window. “JOAQUIN OWEN, I LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU’RE CRAZY AS FUCK!”

“Romantic,” Leo sighed.

“JOAQUIN….JOOOOOOOOOOOO…I MISS YOU…JOOOOOOOOOO!”

Joaquin and Adele both appeared at their bedroom doors, and blearily scurried across to the living room window. They glanced out to see Ben on his shopping trolley podium and Leo trying to wrestle him off. Lights were beginning to be switched on in windows.

“Well thats new,” Adele mused.

“Oh god, oh god,” Joaquin winced as a yell of, “I’ll be your big spoon,” echoed around the building.