“Oh dude, am I hungo…” Greg stopped mid-sentence. “Actually, no I’m not…”

“Greg! Do you remember anything about last night?” Chip gasped as he staggered over to Greg and took a seat on the end of his bunk.

“I can’t even remember my own name…damn it’s hot in here,” Greg yawned.

“I think someone’s been playing with the thermostat,” Chip groaned.

“And you didn’t think to turn it down?” Greg breathed as he sat up and put his glasses on.

“Give me a break, my head is killing me,” Chip huffed.

“No wonder, you should see the shiner you’ve got,” Greg mused, getting to his feet.

“Shiner…oh lord,” Chip mumbled and sat forward, putting his head in his hands.

Greg scanned the room and noticed the only piece of electrical equipment in the room was a small fan that was buzzing in the corner.

As he ambled closer to the window, something else dawned on him: there was a rather large bulge in his pants. Slightly worried about what he might find, Greg thrust his hand into his pocket and pulled out a wad of money.

“Ok, I’m sure there’s an explanation for this,” he breathed. What couldn’t be explained was the currency, and Greg could utter only one word. “Fuck.”

“What’s wrong?” Chip asked, lifting his head.

“I think I know where we are,” Greg said meekly.

“Not Cleveland again I hope,” Chip jeered.

“Oh, we’re not in Cleveland,” Greg half-laughed and pulled back one of the drapes from the window. “We’re in Australia.”

Chip hurried over to Greg and stared in awe out the window. There was nothing except red dirt, a couple of gum trees and a fence.

“Are we gonna die?” Chip asked

“Oh, probably,” Greg sighed.

“What we looking at?” a voice piped up.

Chip and Greg both jumped. It was Ryan.

“Australia,” Greg said laconically.

“Oh yeah? I’d think we’d notice if we were in Australia,” Ryan scared.

“Well it would explain the $5000 Australian I have in my pocket,” Greg spat, waving the wad of cash about.

“Anyone could have put that there,” Ryan scorned.

“Hey, what’s this?” Chip asked excitedly as he picked up a blue satin sash from the floor and turned it around to read it. “Mr Maslins’ Beach 2002,” Chip shrugged and handed it to Ryan.

“Well I never,” Greg chuckled. “Ryan won a beauty contest!”

“I never entered any contest,” Ryan huffed, but put the sash on anyway.

Several minutes of staring at the nothingness outside passed before a thump and a low groan startled them.

“Shit…Ow…I never liked that knee anyway.” Brad grumbled as he picked himself up off the floor and limped over to the window. “Hey nice sash,” he smiled, looking Ryan up and down.

“Thanks,” Ryan sighed.

“Is it hot in here or is it just me?” Brad continued.

“I imagine it’s pretty average for this time of year,” Ryan mused.

“This is average for winter?” Brad exclaimed.

“No, the Australian summer,” Greg sighed.

Brad did a double take as he finally looked out the window. “How…why…when….”

“That’s what we’re trying find out. All we know is I’ve got a back eye, Greg has a wad of cash and Ryan won a beauty contest,” Chip announced.

Brad’s mouth fell open, and then he closed his eyes and spoke. “Well if all that’s happened, then I’m going to assume that the throbbing pain on my back isn’t a bad bug bite.”

Greg, Chip and Ryan looked at each other, then Greg timidly lifted Brad’s shirt. “Well it’s not a bug bite,” Chip mused, looking at the fresh tattoo on Brad’s back.

“I know what it is. I want to know if it’s bad,” Brad wailed.

“It depends…is a naked woman doing some weird kama sutra thing with a monkey bad?” Greg asked.

Brad let out an audible sob.

“What’s going on and why do I feel like I’m melting?” Colin demanded, leaping down from the bunk.

“Who wants to tell him?” Greg asked.

“I got a tattoo,” Brad sobbed.

“Of what?” Colin asked, genuinely interested.

Chip lifted Brad’s shirt and Colin had to stifle a laugh.

“I’ll tell him,” Ryan sighed. “Col… we’re in Australia. Chip has a black eye, Greg a wad of cash, I appear to have won a beauty contest and Brad has a tattoo.”

“Ok…I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation for this,” Colin nodded.

“Yeah, we must have gotten really wasted,” Greg laughed.

“Anything weird happen to you?” Chip asked.

Colin felt his body, checked down his pants and counted all his fingers.

“I can’t find anything,” Colin replied and thrust his hands into his pockets. He froze as his fingers gripped a piece of paper. He pulled it out an examined it.

“She’s also put her number on there,” Colin added, as his friends stood around aghast.

“Felicia,” Brad mused.

“I’m sure nothing happened,” Colin said defensively.

“You’re a bad boy,” Ryan jeered in a camp voice.

Colin let out a huff and crammed the note back into his pocket.

“Good morning,” Wayne chirped as he joined the others. His smile fell when he noticed the looks on his friends’ faces.

“What? Have I got bed head or something?” he asked.

“You don’t have enough hair for bed head,” Colin replied seriously.

Wayne noticed Brad and Ryan were having a hard time keeping it together. “What is so damn funny you guys?” he scorned.

“The gold thong and the glitter,” Greg said, managing to keep a straight face.

Wayne looked down at his glitter covered skin and skimpy gold thong, shrieked and covered himself in the nearest blanket. “You will never utter a word about this to anyone,” he demanded.

“Oh yes we will,” Brad cackled.

“Jeez guys, you make enough noise,” Drew yawned as he, too, joined the others near the window.

“This coming from the man who snores like two elephants going at it,” Chip hissed.

“Hey take a chill pill, Chip,” Drew mused. “So what’s with the mother’s meeting?” he added.

“Well Drew, here’s a little insight for you: we’re in AUSTRALIA,” Ryan snapped.

“And Chip has a black eye, I have a wad of cash, Ryan appears to have won a beauty pageant, Brad has a tattoo, Colin has a mysterious note from a woman, and Wayne has turned into something from Mardi Gras,” Greg sarced.

“And I have someone’s mobile phone,” Drew added, producing a small, purple phone from his pocket.

“This is the worst hangover I have ever had,” Colin announced miserably.

“I wish I was hungover. Is it possible to be so drunk you actually bypass the hangover?” Greg sighed.

Everyone looked blankly at everyone else.