Drew, Colin, and Paul arrived back at the hotel dining room in the early evening to find Brad and Chip counting wads of cash.

“Where the hell did you guys get that from?” Drew gasped.

“We’ll explain later,” Chip grinned.

“Who’s your friend?” Brad asked, looking at Paul.

“This is Paul, he’s a friend of Greg’s,” Colin mused as the three men sat.

Brad and Chip said a unified, “Hi.”

A little while later Greg appeared, sporting a big grin when he saw Paul. Paul leapt up and they hugged.

“Paul, man, long time no see,” Greg gasped.

“How ya doing?” Paul asked.

“Well other than having the shit kicked out of me recently, I’m fine,” Greg replied.

“Hey?” Paul peeped.

“I’ll explain later,” Greg mused as they sat. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“I ran into Drew and Colin, they invited me for dinner,” Paul replied.

“He knows how we got here,” Colin piped up.

“We were in Sydney?” Greg gasped.

“I’ll explain later,” Paul quipped.

“So how’s that TV show of yours going?” Greg asked.

“Got axed a couple of years ago after we moved to commercial TV,” Paul sighed.

“Oh…you still on radio?” Greg asked hopefully.

“No,” Paul replied.

“Are you doing anything or just bumming around?” Greg asked, exasperated.

“I’m doing a musical. The Witches of Eastwick,” Paul chuckled.

“Oh, which witch are you?” Colin asked.

“Well I wanted to be Cher’s character but they wouldn’t let me,” Paul said, putting on a camp voice.

The conversation was cut short by the arrival of Wayne and Ryan. Wayne was walking like he’d been riding a horse all day and he sat down very gingerly.

“What happened to him?” Greg gasped.

“Testicles got shredded by a marsupial,” Ryan said bluntly.

“I told you not to say anything,” Wayne hissed as everyone laughed.

“Hey, who’s the newbie?” Ryan asked, lightening up.

“Paul. He met us in Sydney…well I knew him before…” Greg stated.

“So you know what we did, then?” Ryan mused.

“Sure do, Conga Man,” Paul grinned.

Ryan looked confused.

“We’ll explain later,” Colin and Drew said together.

There was a brief silence before Paul piped up. “So are you going to tell me what you’ve been up to?”

“Where to start,” Brad chuckled.

“At the beginning would be good,” Paul sarced.

“Well technically we’d be starting at the end,” Colin stated. “We woke up in a house in the middle of nowhere.”

“And we discovered something strange had happened to each of us. I found $5000 on me, Chip had a black eye, Ryan had a sash with Mr Maslin’s 2002 on it…”

“Ooh, mate,” Paul laughed.

“Brad got a tattoo with a monkey and a woman doing the karma sutra, Wayne looked like something out of Mardi Gras…”

Drew and Colin looked at each other.

“And Drew had a cell phone,” Greg finally finished.

“Which I later found out actually belongs to a drug baron and pimp called Ritz Crispin,” Drew piped up.

“Our next stop was the Alice where we met a guy called Big Bazza. He told us that Chip got his black eye during a fight,” Brad added.

“So we caught a sheep truck to another town and discovered we got there by posing as doctors. We posed a little too well,” Wayne chided.

“I was a gynaecologist,” Ryan perked.

“We caught a plane to Adelaide where we actually found out the truth about Maslins,” Chip chirped.

“We also talked to lots of hookers,” Brad added.

“Then we took the train to Melbourne,” Colin nodded.

“And went to the casino, where the guy Greg won his $5000 off of caught up with him,” Drew mused.

“So we saved him with various cleaning implements,” Wayne stated.

“Then we all got really, really drunk again,” Brad grinned.

“The next day Drew got kidnapped by some armed heavies who thought he was Ritz,” Colin chimed in.

“So we stole a car, armed ourselves and saved him,” Chip added.

“And Ryan showed his fabulous acting skills,” Greg smiled.

“Then we went back to the hotel and Ryan had a woman in his room,” Wayne jeered.

“I found Miss Maslins 2002,” Ryan sighed. “Close your mouth, Colin,” he added.

Colin closed his mouth, although his shocked expression stayed.

“And we played pool and started hustling, hence the cash,” Chip grinned.

“And that’s all to the present time, Mr McDermott,” Greg mused.

Paul sat quietly for several seconds, and opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. “Are you sure the only drug you’ve had is alcohol?” he asked.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Greg sighed.

“So what happened in Sydney?” Wayne asked.

“I can’t tell you any more than I told Drew and Colin but we met at Mardi Gras…”

Everyone looked at Wayne.

“I was not part of Mardi Gras,” Wayne grumbled.

“We went on to a big party and Ryan started a conga line in the plane,” Paul mused.

“Hey,” Ryan gasped.

“Yeah buddy, you’ve flown again with out knowing, and this time you danced,” Drew chuckled.

Ryan looked nothing less than mortified. This was proving to be the weirdest day in his life.

After dinner and several drinks, someone wandered up onto the small stage and announced a karaoke competition, the prize being an unlimited bar tab.

“So which one of us is gonna win it?” Wayne asked, looking at Brad, Chip and Drew.

“Well it won’t be me,” Ryan chuckled.

“Or me if you want to win,” Colin added.

“Hell, let’s all have a go,” Drew perked.

And so the competition began, Chip went first and belted out “Dancing Queen,” then there was another hotel guest who screeched out something inaudible. Brad went next and did a fantastic job of “Love Shack,” causing the others to question whether he’d paid the hotel manager to put it on the machine. Drew followed Brad and sang “Mandy.” Two women got up and did a reasonable job of whatever they sang. Then it was Wayne’s go and he had the crowd clapping along as he sang “I Will Survive.”

As Wayne sat down Greg turned to Paul. “You gonna have a go?”

“Ahh, I don’t know,” Paul shrugged.

“Go on,” Greg chuckled.

“Oh ok,” Paul sighed and sauntered up to the stage.

Paul picked Britany Spears’ “Oops I Did it Again.”

“Hey, you didn’t say he could sing,” Wayne gasped.

“You never asked,” Greg mused.

Paul received huge applause when he finished and then made his way back to the table. He couldn’t wipe the grin from his face.

“I vote for him,” Ryan perked, Colin nodded in agreement.

There were a few more dismal attempts before the hotel manager appeared on the stage.

“Well, that was some competition,” he gasped and then announced the winners. Brad had come in third and won a voucher for a free burger and coke, Chip came second and won a cheap bottle of booze and Paul won first prize. He whispered something to the manager and then wandered back to the table.

“I’m donating my prize to you lot. I’ve got to get to a rehearsal and I should probably be vaguely sober,” Paul announced.

He hugged Greg again, said copious goodbyes and then left.

“Woohoo! Unlimited bar tab,” Drew cheered.

“Oh god,” Ryan laughed.

“So how do you know Paul?” Colin asked.

“Comedy circuit. Although he stopped a while ago,” Greg replied.

“And what was that stuff about Miss Maslin’s?” Colin added, looking at Ryan.

“Nothing, she just returned my wallet,” Ryan scorned, then wish he hadn’t.

Everyone gasped.

“Nothing happened,” Ryan hissed.

“How can you be sure?” Chip said, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m going to bed,” Ryan huffed and got to his feet.

“Make sure there’s no women waiting for you,” Greg smiled.

“Fuck off, Greg,” Ryan spat and stormed out of the room.

There was silence and then Drew turned to Colin. “Well are you going to go talk to him?”

“Why me?” Colin huffed.

“He’s your best friend. Besides we want all the goss,” Brad mused.

Colin rolled his eyes. “So your testicles got shredded, huh?” he quipped turning to Wayne