12 – Mr Maslins

Wayne had managed to rustle up a mini bus, and although it looked fairly daggy, it was going to have to do. The Whose Line men piled in and Ryan was elected to drive. This was soon discovered to be a mistake, as Ryan had no knowledge whatsoever of the Australian road rules.

“OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD,” Greg screamed.

“I know, I know,” Ryan grumbled.

“SLOW DOWN…PLEASE GOD, SLOW DOWN,” Wayne begged.

“I am, I am,” Ryan hissed.

“JESUS, THAT WAS CLOSE,” Chip squealed.

“Miles away,” Ryan breathed.

“How much longer?” Brad sighed.

“About ten minutes,” Colin replied, checking a map they’d picked up at a service station.

“OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD,” Greg yelled again.

“I’m too young and rich to die,” Drew peeped.


By the time they pulled up in the secluded parking spot, everyone was looking decidedly peaky. Colin hopped out and opened the mini bus door; the others hurriedly piled out.

“Pretty secluded beach,” Brad pointed out.

“Lots of cars, though,” Chip shrugged.

“Looks like we just follow the path,” Wayne announced over by the start of a track that went through the dunes.

The men began to wander down the track, admiring the copious amounts of sand and clear blue water.

“Man, I am so going swimming,” Chip perked.

“I think I’m burning,” Greg whined.

They reached the bottom of the dune track and looked over the beach.

It was then they noticed.

There was something special about Maslins, something very special.

It was a nudist beach.

“Oh my dear god,” Drew managed to cough.

“You know, this wouldn’t be quite so disturbing if Ryan wasn’t crowned Mr Maslins,” Colin mused.

“Shit…that means he was naked,” Wayne shrieked.

Ryan looked like he was about to be ill.

They were all sharing the same thought – “turn and run” – when group of four naked individuals bounded over. There was a buxom blonde, a middle-aged man with a severe paunch, an old lady, and a fit young man. The Whose Line men adverted their eyes in every which way.

“Hi, welcome too….ohhh it’s the Americans,” the buxom blonde beamed.

Colin looked at her, turned bright red and looked away again.

“And Mr Maslins himself,” chirped the middle aged man, putting an arm around Ryan.

Ryan physically stiffened. There was something quite uncomfortable about having a strange naked man that close to you.

“Oh so it is. I was here the day he was crowned. Great butt,” chuckled the old woman to the buxom blonde.

Ryan looked ill again.

“C’mon, get your gear off and join the fun,” the young man smiled and then ran off down the beach, flapping in the wind.

“Why don’t you go back to what you were doing and we’ll catch up,” Drew said, praying all the while.

The people did, and then the Whose Line men looked at each other.

“I say we run while we still can,” Wayne breathed.

“We can’t, we have to know what happened and how we got here,” Colin cussed.

“I am not getting naked,” Greg hissed.

“Me neither,” Drew gasped.

“You’ve both been naked in public before…what’s your problem?” Colin questioned.

Greg and Drew looked and each other and then Drew spoke, “C’mon, us all naked together?”

“Well I don’t care. It’s the first time I get to do it for real,” Colin smiled and began unbuttoning his shirt.

“Colin, what happened to your shame?” Brad gasped.

“Shame? What shame? After all I’ve done over the years and all that’s happened here? Hell, I shared a bathroom with Ryan, I have no shame left,” Colin spat, dropping his shirt onto the beach.

“You guys shared a bathroom?” Wayne winced.

“Colin’s right, we might as well get it over and done with,” Ryan sighed and unbuttoned his shirt. “Oh, and I vote that Drew has to talk to the old lady,” he added smiling.

Drew mumbled an obscenity under his breath.


A short while later they were all sitting naked on the beach.

“Well this is uncomfortable,” Colin stated.

“You’re not wrong, I’ve got sand up my ass,” Greg spat.

“I meant emotionally,” Colin sighed.

“I know what you meant,” Greg grumbled.

Suddenly Drew started to giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Brad asked.

“Oh man. Who back in the states would believe this?” he laughed.

Brad laughed too and soon everyone was in hysterics.

“You won’t see this in the TV Guide,” Ryan grinned.