The ice cold air of the pub hit them like an artic wind (not that it was a bad thing). The pub was very crowded, and the Whose Line men found themselves very much the centre of attention.

“Jesus, fellas, what happened to ya’s?” asked the bartender.

“If only we knew,” Drew jeered, plonking himself on a barstool.

The bartender looked at Drew strangely. “So what you lot drinking then?” he asked.

“Beer all round,” Greg piped up.

“Your treat, hey?” Brad mused nudging Greg.

“Are you kidding? I’m not spending that money until I know where it came from,” Greg stated. “Drew can pay by VISA.”

“Gee, thanks,” Drew grumbled.

The bartender poured the seven beers and passed Greg some cigarettes.

“Oh, sweet lovely nicotine,” Greg purred as he sucked back his first puff.

“Excuse me…what day is it?” Ryan asked, sipping his beer.

“Wednesday, mate,” the bartender smiled.

Ryan’s mouth fell open. “We started the party on Friday.”

“So technically we would have left LA on Saturday and got here Saturday,” Greg mused. Everyone looked at him confused. “I’ll explain when we can actually look back and laugh about this.”

“We should probably try and find Big Bazza,” Chip piped up.

“Can we eat something first?” Wayne whined.

“Hey, that sounds good. Oh no it doesn’t, I’m paying,” Drew said, falling into a sulk.

“Have you got a menu or something?” Colin asked.

“At this time at night we only have what’s on the board,” the bartender smiled and pointed to a blackboard.

“Gentlemen we have a choice: pie and chips, beans and chips, sausages and chips, or chicken schnitzel and chips…hmm the choices,” Brad goaded.

“No one have beans, please,” Ryan giggled.

“Better make it seven schnitzel and chips,” Colin mused to the barman.

“Sure thing mate. Anything else you want?” the barman asked.

“Yeah could we get rooms for the night?” Drew yawned.

“I’ll get the missus, she should be able to organise that for you,” the barman chirped, told some guy called Davo to man the bar, and disappeared.

A short while later a young blonde woman appeared.

“You must be the Americans looking for rooms?” she smiled.

“I’m Canadian, not American,” Colin grumbled.

“Ok, keep your hair on,” the blonde woman jeered and then squeaked, “oh,” and covered her mouth.

Everyone but Colin doubled over laughing.

“Anyway,” the woman flustered, “I’ve got one double, two rooms with two singles and one single.”

“I bag the single,” Drew piped up.

“Wayne and I will have one of the two singles,” Brad chimed in.

Ryan, Colin, Chip and Greg looked at each other.

“Oh all right, Ryan and I will take the double,” Colin sighed.

“Hey,” Ryan grumbled.

“Right then. Well, here’s your room keys,” perked the blonde, handing the four keys out, “Just holler if you want anything,” she added and bounced off.

“I want her,” Drew chided.

“She’s a married woman,” Ryan hissed.

“So?” Drew shrugged.

After wolfing down their meals and a burping contest, it was decided they should look for Big Bazza.

“Excuse me, barman dude, do you know of a Big Bazza?” Greg asked.

“Who doesn’t? He’s over on the ‘Dollar Dolphin’ poker machine.” The barman nodded.

The seven men turned to look in the direction of the flashing monstrosities, and as predicted saw a large man in grotty jeans, a stained t-shirt and a vast collection of tattoos.

“I’m guessing that’s our guy,” Wayne said to no one in particular.

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s chat,” Ryan perked, getting to his feet and sauntering in Bazza’s direction.

“I think the beer is starting to talk for him,” Greg mused.

They gathered around Big Bazza, trying to look unfazed, and nominated Wayne to do the talking, much to Wayne’s horror.

He cleared his throat nervously. “Hi…Mr Big Bazza, sir.”

Bazza looked up. “Wayne,” he smiled. Wayne screwed up his face as he caught a whiff of Bazza’s rancid breath. “Oh look, you’re all here.”

“Bazza, we need to ask you an important question,” Wayne continued.

“Sure, you can ask me anything,” Bazza chuckled.

“Ok, um…how did we end up with you last night?” Wayne asked.

“You don’t remember?” Bazza said, shocked.

“Not a thing,” Ryan laughed.

“So you don’t remember when you and the Canadian did that belly dance back in Oodnadatta?”

“No. And I tell ya something, I’m glad I don’t,” Ryan remarked, concerned what else he might have done.

“Me too, buddy,” Drew smiled, squeezing Ryan’s shoulder.

“So you picked us up in Oodn…Oodna…that other place?” Brad piped up.

“Yeah, I had to. Killer Kendall would have got ya otherwise.”

“Who what now?” Greg said, shaking his head.

“You guys seriously don’t remember?” Big Bazza gasped.

They all shook their heads and shrugged their shoulders.

“Bloody hell,” Bazza breathed. “Well when I rocked up to the pub in Oodna, you lot were already there. You were all quite drunk too. Anyway, Killer turned up with a couple of his cronies. Things were fine until Charlie Harry here decided to tell Killer he looked liked a the result of a gorilla and a yak’s night on the tiles,” he said, pointing to Greg.

“Oh, there’s a surprise,” Chip scorned. Greg shrugged.

“Keep going,” Ryan goaded.

“Next thing we know there’s an all out brawl. It might have sorted itself had the fairy here not chucked a mug of beer over Killer.”

“I’m not gay,” Chip spat.

Bazza looked Chip up and down. “Yeah…anyways, Killer was pissed, I fink you’d actually been aiming for Charlie Harry, but Killer gave you that shiner anyway. I told him he shouldn’t go round hitting people like you, ‘cos you’re all sensitive and stuff.”

“I’M NOT GAY,” Chip yelled.

The pub fell quiet. Chip hid behind Ryan.

“Do you have any idea how we got to Oodna?” Colin asked.

“Nah, sorry fellas,” Bazza sighed.

“Do you know how we can get back there?” Drew chimed in.

“Hmm…I’ve got a mate heading that way tomorrow. I’ll see what I can do,” Bazza smiled.

“Thanks, dude,” Greg grinned and slapped Bazza’s back, then whished he hadn’t because Bazza returned the gesture and Greg nearly ended up crashing into the nearest table.

They chatted to Bazza for a while longer, discovering other embarrassing drunken things they had done, including Wayne’s rendition of “Like a Virgin,” Brad’s impression of Tom Cruise in “Cocktail,” and the ‘Pressed hams’ Drew gave Killer.

They also discovered that ‘Pressed Hams’ meant mooning someone, and subsequently decided it was a miracle any of them were still alive.

Then, due to thorough exhaustion, they were forced to turn in.

“I’m so glad you didn’t have beans,” Ryan said, turning to Colin as the ascended the stairs.

“You and me both,” Colin yawned.