“I don’t see why he can’t accept that we were naked for a perfectly good reason,” Gina scorned as she and Brad sauntered down the long, winding road that led from the farm to the main road.

“He does have a point though, two naked people in the bushes is a bit suspicious,” Brad countered.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t like I was flat on my back, legs in the air playing the horizontal polka with you,” Gina declared.

“That’s true…you were on the phone to your estranged husband,” Brad mused.

“Sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer, doesn’t it?” Gina jeered. “My lover caught me, naked in the bushes with my best friend’s boyfriend, while I was on the phone to my ex-husband.”

“So Miss Coleman, why were you in the bushes?” Brad asked, putting on his talk show host voice.

“It’s simple, Brad. We stumbled across a beautiful watering hole and decided to go for a swim. Yes, we were naked, but we didn’t have sex,” Gina replied in her best “hoochie mama” voice.

“I understand you were caught in the bushes with an incredibly handsome man. By your lover, who is in fact married,” Brad continued.

“Don’t judge me ok…You don’t know me, ok…Greg and I have a deep and profound love that no one understands. Not even us,” Gina mused.

“Are you sure you’re not just horny?” Brad asked seriously.

Gina cracked up and then stifled her giggles as she saw Greg in the distance trying to flag a lift, even thought there wasn’t a car in sight.

“So who’s going to deal with the drama queen?” Brad asked.

Gina let out a sigh. “I suppose it’s my fault, so I’ll deal with it,” she undid a couple of buttons on her shirt and headed toward Greg.

---

“The clunking of this car is starting to really, really piss me off,” Fenny grumbled.

“Oh what, and you want me to do something about it?” Paul scorned.

“All I’m saying is it wouldn’t be so bad if there was a damn radio,” Fenny huffed.

“Fine, you want a radio? I’ll be your radio,” Paul spat. “What do you want?”

“Ok, ‘Time Has Told Me’ by Nick Drake,” Fenny perked.

Paul bit his lip. “I don’t know that one. But I do know the entire Boogie Nights Soundtrack?”

“What about something by Stephen Stills?” Fenny asked.

“All I can think of is ‘Love The One You’re With’ and I hardly think that’s appropriate right now,” Paul replied.

Fenny looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “You strange little man,” she mused. “Just sing something, ok?”

Paul thought for a moment and then began to sing:

 

“Oh yeah that’s appropriate,” Fenny jeered.

“Hey, you can sing if you want. Just don’t blame me if the windows shatter,” Paul huffed.

“Don’t be mean,” Fenny hissed. “Sing something else.”

Paul gave a wry smile:

 

“PAUL,” Fenny squealed, trying not to giggle.

“What? Don’t tell me that’s inappropriate, too?” Paul scorned.

“Only because it’s making me laugh and I might lose control of the car,” Fenny mused.

“I’m not good at being a radio,” Paul huffed. “If I’m not being inappropriate I’m making you laugh and veer off into traffic.”

“That’s not true, you’re a lovely radio. Just try to sing something nice,” Fenny enthused.

“Nice,” Paul mumbled and grinned.

 

“Much better,” Fenny grinned as Paul began to bop in his seat. It didn’t take much persuasion for her to join in.

---

Gina marched over to where Greg was standing on the side of the road looking miserable, haggard and tired. She sidled up beside him, so he turned away.

“Greg, will you stop acting like a five-year-old brat?” Gina asked as she crossed her arms.

Greg turned to her venomously. “I am not acting like a child.”

“Oh really? That’s why you’re standing out here looking like someone’s slapped you with a wet mackerel?”

“A wet mackerel?” Greg echoed, bewildered.

“It just popped into my head. Anyway, don’t change the subject,” she growled.

“I didn’t think we had a subject,” he said with obvious disdain.

“Oh we have a subject. It’s situated around the fact you don’t trust me.”

“How can I trust you when you’re gallivanting around the outback butt naked with Brad?”

“I explained to you how that happened, and I’m hurt that you don’t believe me,” she announced, pouting for effect.

“Hey, I only know what I saw,” he scorned. “I’m fucking confused, Gina. You’re running hot and cold. One minute you’re all over me, the next minute you won’t go near me.”

Her mouth fell open. “Oh my god, you’re jealous.”

“Jealous,” Greg said with an almost insulted laugh.

“Well, if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be getting so wound up, and you’d accept our explanation,” Gina huffed and turned away from him.

He looked at his feet and kicked a stone across the road. “Shit, Gina, it’s not that I don’t trust you…”

“It’s just that I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again,” Gina spat, cutting him off. “I thought we were better than that,” she added, sniffing.

Greg grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face him, but she didn’t look up.

“I’m sorry, I do trust you,” he breathed, sliding his hands down around her waist.

“Really?” she asked, uncrossing her arms and fiddling with his shirt buttons.

“Of course I do. I’m just tired and fed up,” Greg sighed.

Gina looked up and caught his eye. “Well, I guess I might be able to forgive you,” she cooed and pressed her lips against his.

“This doesn’t mean I’m happy that you went skinny dipping with Brad,” Greg mumbled through kisses. “I mean, I’m still pissed about that.”

“Shut up Greg,” Gina mused and wrapped her arms around his neck.

---

“Should I be worried you know Tammy Wynette songs?” Fenny asked.

“Only if you want to be,” Paul mused.

“How much longer to Brady Creek,” she sighed.

“Five K,” Paul replied, looking out of the window at a small sign that simply read ‘BD 5.’

“Thank god for that, this scenery is starting to get mundane. I mean, you can only count so many sheep and wheat fields.”

“We saw a goat, remember,” he perked.

“Yes, but it was dead on the side of the road, just like the kangaroo, three foxes and 500 rabbits,” she jeered.

“Hey, I’ve heard of people doing some pretty artistic things with roadkill.”

“Seriously? That’s just wrong,” she cringed.

“What? You don’t fancy painting something with maggots falling out of its arse and its internal organs smeared across the tar?”

“Paul,” she groaned. “How do you sleep at night?”

“On my side, with my knees tucked up like this,” he shrugged, then he demonstrated.

“I am so glad only a few more minutes and I won’t have to be alone with you anymore,” she sighed.

He chuckled. “So will you be pissed at young Bradley or will you be sticking your tongue down his throat at the first available opportunity?” he asked.

“I’ll see where the mood takes me,” Fenny chirped.

“Tongue it is, then,” Paul mused.

---

“Guys, I hear a car,” Brad announced, glad he wouldn’t have to endure Greg and Gina’s slobbering and groping much longer.

Greg let go of Gina and stepped out onto the road. Gina turned to see Brad walk up beside her.

“Nice bit of acting,” Brad mused.

“Acting?” Gina replied innocently.

They looked at each other curiously for a moment and then saw the clouds of dust approaching. Then from the dust appeared the rusty old Holden, much to the amusement of Greg and Brad.

“I see they went for luxury,” Greg jeered.

“I’m afraid to open one of the doors in case it falls off,” Brad agreed.

The car slowed to a stop and Paul was first to step out and stretch.

“What happened to the van?” Gina asked.

“We had a little cliff accident,” Paul mused.

Gina looked horrified, Brad looked shocked, and Greg blinked.

“Not to mention that Ritza and Rona now think we’re dead,” Fenny added, as she appeared and walked around the car to join everyone else.

“And the fact I saw Rona naked,” Paul groaned, “again.”

“Oh, and the surgery I had to perform on you,” Fenny enthused.

“Surgery? Oh, the splinter,” Paul giggled.

Gina looked slightly miffed and wandered off to sit on the fence. Fenny noticed and wandered over, leaving the guys to try and outdo each other with tales of their heroics.

---

“So are you going to explain to me why you were naked with Brad?” Fenny asked and leaned against the fence next to Gina.

“You don’t know how sick I am of explaining,” Gina grumbled. “We went skinny dipping, big fucking deal.”

“Paul says you don’t swim,” Fenny pressed.

“Yes, and I assume he failed to mention that my first reaction is to hold onto him for dear life. Which was about as romantic as Brad and I got,” Gina huffed.

“It’s ok, I believe you. I figure Brad’s probably too traumatized to have sex with anyone at the moment,” Fenny mused.

“Yeah, if you get a quiet moment, I think he might need to talk about that. I think he’s bottling something up,” Gina said seriously as both women looked over at the three men.

“Really? Well, maybe I’ll do that when we stop for the night. If we can work out where we’re going,” Fenny smiled.

“Yeah, that might help,” Gina nodded. “How’s Paul?” she added.

“Let’s just say he’s been referring to you as ‘Genie’ the whole time,” Fenny mused, raising her eyebrows. She stood up from the fence and headed over to Brad.

“Can I have a word?” she asked, slipping her hand into his.

“Sure, babe,” Brad perked as he was led around the other side of the car. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Fenny mused and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Brad took the hint and brought his lips to hers, his arms wrapping tightly around her and holding her so close she could barley breathe, or perhaps that was just the intensity of the kiss.

“I love you,” Fenny whispered, her lips still against his.

“I love you too,” Brad replied, “and I really wish there wasn’t three pairs of eyes on us.”

“Who cares,” Fenny giggled.

“Me, because there are things I just can’t do under that amount of pressure,” Brad cooed and began moving his lips over that spot on her neck.

“If you keep doing that I really won’t care,” Fenny gasped.

“I better keep going then,” Brad breathed.

---

“I was expecting you three to be at each others throats” Paul announced, looking casually at Greg.

“Huh? Oh, we worked through that in an adult way,” Greg replied.

“Course you did,” Paul said, unimpressed, and wandered over to Gina. She slid off the fence and tried to look more “cool and calm” and less “I’d lick your shoes.”

“So are you going to yell at me?” Gina asked.

“For what?” Paul bewildered.

“Gee, getting naked with Brad, using sex to get round Greg…?” Gina sighed.

“The Brad thing I’m cool with, it’s the Greg bit that worries me,” Paul scorned.

“Sorry,” she shrugged and look at her feet. “Are you ok?”

“Apart from the bruises I obtained from jumping from a moving vehicle, the whole splinter ordeal, and the fact I’m going to need therapy to rid the images of Rona naked from my brain…yeah, I’m fine,” Paul replied, finishing with a smile.

Gina looked up from her feet. “Good, because I’d never forgive myself if something awful happened to you.”

“Babe, it wouldn’t be your fault,” Paul soothed, gently squeezing her arm. “I’m quite capable of hurting myself.”

Gina looked at Paul’s hand on her arm and then into his eyes. She wanted to say something really intelligent, witty and charming, but instead just pulled him into a hug. Paul was surprised but quickly relaxed and hugged her back.

---

Greg was not happy. He glared at Gina and Paul and Brad and Fenny. Everyone was hugging, being all sappy. Angrily he slid into the passenger side of the car, reached over and pressed the heel of his hand onto the horn. It turned out to be one part of the car that was working.

“What the hell did you do that for?” Brad scorned.

“I think we should get going,” Greg announced.

“He’s right, we should,” Fenny sighed and turned to open the driver’s side door.

Gina and Paul slid into the backseat along with Brad.

“We all here?” Fenny asked, closing her door.

“Yes miss,” Paul replied in a childlike voice.

“I think I should swap seats with Brad,” Greg announced.

“Fine with me,” Brad shrugged and slid out the car again.

Brad climbed into the front with Fenny and Greg joined Paul and Gina at the back. Gina felt incredibly uncomfortable sitting between Greg and Paul, and wasn’t quite sure what to do.

“So, where are we headed?” Fenny asked.

“I say we head back toward Sydney,” Gina announced. “Well, New South Wales.”

“Ok, so I’ll basically drive until we get bored and hit a decent town to stay the night at?” Fenny asked, looking at her passengers.

There were nods and grunts of approval. Fenny started the engine and they were soon off in another cloud of dust.

“Put the radio on,” Gina piped up.

“No radio,” Fenny replied.

“Oh man,” Greg grumbled.

“Unless you count Paul, he’s not a bad makeshift one,” Fenny perked, grinning at Paul in the rear vision mirror.

“Hey, since Brad’s here too, we can have stereo,” Gina enthused.

“Hmm improvised radio,” Brad grinned.

“Oh god, what have I started,” Fenny groaned as Brad and Paul began making up their own song.

 

“Oh we’re being chased across a big brown land…It’s called good old Australia,” Brad began

“And when you get bored of it… You can play with your own genitalia,” Paul added.

 

“Charming,” Fenny mused.

“How many words do you know rhyme with Australia?” Gina piped up.

 

“We’ve been kidnapped and tortured, all by a woman named Ritz”

“And to be honest, it’s giving us the shits”

“We’re hoping to get out alive, to see another day”

“And to get on that elusive plane, the one back to LA”

“Australia, Australia its no fun if you’re dead”

“Australia, Australia it’s the blood we’ve all shed”

“We’ve been molested and naked”

“Holed up in a vault”

“We’ve lost cars in explosions”

“We’re starting to revolt”

“There’s been guns put at our heads”

“Strange women in our beds”

“But you’ll never hear us complain”

“Because we damn well like the pain”

“We’re not masochists or freaky”

“Kooky or geeky”

“We’re just fed up of this country”

“All the guns and the knives”

“We just want to leave it”

“With all our fucked up lives”

“WITH ALL OUR FUCKED UP LIVES”

 

“That was beautiful guys, just beautiful,” Gina jeered.

“Yes, please stop now,” Fenny mused.

Brad and Paul shrugged and looked miserably out of the windows.