41 – Not Broken Hill

“A rabbit? At this time of the morning?” Gina muttered looking at Paul. He shrugged.

“What happened to the radio?” Fenny piped up.

“It was interrupted by a rabbit, apparently,” Gina scorned.

“Ok, I’ll sing something else,” Paul sighed. “Well I bet you’re wondering how I knew, about your plans to make me blue? With some other guy you knew before. Out of the two of us guys you know I loved you more.

The car screeched to another sudden stop. Fenny nearly fell into the dashboard.

“There was no rabbit that time,” she cussed, pulling herself back into a comfortable position and readjusting the map.

“My foot slipped,” Greg grumbled and then started to drive again.

“Radio,” Fenny announced.

Paul bit his lip for a moment and then started to sing again. “Tonight, I want to give it all to you. In the darkness there’s so much I want to do. I wanna lay at your feet, ‘cos girl I was made for you and girl you were made for me.”

Paul waited for the car to suddenly stop, but when it didn’t he kept going and Brad joined in. “I was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me. I can’t get enough of you baby, can you get enough of me?

“Sherwood solo,” Paul announced.

Tonight I want to see it in your eyes, feel the magic, that’s something that drives me wild,” Brad sang, before they sang the next bit together.

And tonight, gonna make your love come true. ‘Cos girl I was made for you and you were made for love.”

They were about to start on the chorus when the car pulled to another unceremonious stop.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Gina hissed. “Greg get out, I’m driving.” She motioned for Paul to get out, which he reluctantly did, and swapped with Greg, much to his chagrin. With the three men in the back, Gina started the car and they were on their way to Broken Hill again.

“I think you have to turn at the next crossroads,” Fenny announced.

“It’s ok, I don’t need a navigator. I know where I’m going,” Gina sighed.

“Sorry I spoke,” Fenny muttered.

The car fell into a brief and unsettling silence.

“Watch where you’re putting your elbows, Proops,” Paul cussed.

“I haven’t moved them,” Greg declared, and then deliberately poked Paul in the ribs.

“Ouch, I’m serious man,” Paul scowled.

Greg looked at the pained expression on Paul’s face and felt a stab of guilt. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Are we getting to hear the end of ‘I was Made for Loving You’?” Gina asked.

“Don’t encourage them,” Fenny grumbled.

“Hey, you were the one that wanted Paul to play radio in the first place,” Gina scorned.

“I’m happy with the car’s dying sounds at the moment,” Fenny declared.

“Jeez Fen, we’re just having a bit of fun,” Brad announced.

“Yes, well. Singing Kiss songs that represent an idealistic vision of relationships isn’t fun for everyone,” Fenny hissed.

“Neither is the real thing,” Brad snapped. “It’s kinda like asking to be beaten with a baseball bat.”

“I like that idea, you beaten with a baseball bat,” Fenny snapped back.

Paul and Greg looked at each other and shrugged, and Gina glimpsed in the mirror to see Brad looking furious.

“Well, it would go well with the bits of me that have already been beaten, ripped, and shot trying to save your ass,” Brad snarled.

“I didn’t ask you to save me, and to be honest, it was Gina that saved me, so I wouldn’t try to boast,” Fenny barked.

“Don’t drag me into it,” Gina peeped.

“Oh hey, wanna tear my pride to shreds further? Why don’t you tell everyone I’m shit in bed, have a small dick and couldn’t make a roach orgasm, huh?” Brad yelled.

“A roach?” Paul mused to Greg.

“I’ve heard he’s good with beetles,” Greg nodded.

“Why? I’m sure there’s plenty of poor women you’ve fucked who could tell the world. In fact I’m pretty sure Ritza would love to share,” Fenny yelled back.

“Yeah, well at least she’s not FRIGID,” Brad bellowed.

Fenny whipped round quicker than anyone expected and threw Gina’s mobile phone at Brad’s bullet wound. He let out a yelp and doubled over, hissing through his teeth.

“MUM AND DAD ARE FIGHTING…MAKE THEM STOP,” Paul wailed, childlike.

“Oh, I plan too,” Gina huffed.


It felt like hours of uncomfortable silence later when Paul pointed out the obvious. p>”Genie, call me crazy…but that’s the ocean.”

“It certainly is,” Gina mused as she drove along a coastal road.

“Yes, but, and I’m going out on a limb here…Why can we see the ocean when Broken Hill is in the middle of the fucking desert?” Paul announced.

“Because, we need a change a scenery and we need to let off some steam, before someone gets killed,” Gina announced as she pulled onto a dirt track. She drove into a clearing and stopped the car. “Everyone out,” she declared.

Greg, Paul and Brad piled out. Fenny didn’t move.

“Fenella, get your arse out the car or I will have you carried out,” Gina breathed.

Fenny looked angrily at Gina and knew she was telling the truth. She reluctantly unbuckled her belt and joined the others outside.

“Where are we going?” Paul asked.

“To the beach,” Gina replied. “There’s a track over there.”

“Right, I need a piss I’ll catch you up,” Paul perked and headed off back down the track.

“Follow me,” Gina ordered. She led the other three through a track in the dunes and onto a deserted, white sandy beach.

“Wow,” Greg gasped. “How did you know about this place?”

“Let’s not go there,” Gina replied, raising her eyebrows.


Fenny took off toward the water, enjoying the smell of the sea air. It made a change from the dirt, blood, sweat and tears she’d been breathing for the last few days. She bent down and untied her sneakers, stuffed her socks inside them and rolled up her jeans before stepping into the warm water. She let the waves wash over her feet and tried not to think about Brad. She’d never known him to be so horrible. She felt stabbed that he would even talk to her like that. After all she’d done, forgiven him more times that she cared to remember, and done nothing but tell him that she loved him. What had he given her in return? Heartache, and the knowledge that he was like every guy she’d ever dated – a jerk.


Gina hopped over the rocks, falling off more than she was balancing on. She jumped onto one and began to wobble. Greg grabbed her arm and held her in place.

“Thank you,” she smiled, “although I am kinda getting used to falling off.”

“Suit yourself,” he sighed and let her go. She fell off the rock and hopped onto another one.

“What is up your arse? You’ve been a grumpy bastard for days,” she asked.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets and kicked the sand. “Where do I stand with you, Gina?”

“What do you mean?” Gina asked, trying to talk her way around the question.

“I mean, when we met in the hotel…I’d never been happier in my life to see you. You would never believe how much I wished I’d made you stay in LA. Then, when Paul walked into the restaurant that night, I thought, hey, he’s a good-looking guy, I can’t compete. And then we spent that night together in the hotel. Man, I thought we were on, you know,” Greg babbled. “And now, you barely go near me. You don’t talk to me. I don’t know what to think anymore.”

“Greg,” Gina breathed as he walked over and took her hands in his.

“Be honest with me, do you love Paul?” Greg asked.

“Yeah, I do,” Gina nodded.

“I mean that’s cool, he’s your husband. When we get back to Sydney I’ll leave, no looking back and all that,” Greg said, his voice emotive.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Gina breathed as they locked eyes.

“Fucking hell,” Greg said, almost breathless as he pulled her into his arms, and kissed her longingly. She ran her fingers through his hair and felt her feet nearly lifting off the rock.

“God, I feel like I’m in stuck in a sappy pop song,” Gina panted as they stood, foreheads together.

“I don’t care, as long as it’s not anything by Britney,” Greg gasped.

“Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool. Lovin’ both of you is breaking all the rules,” Gina recited.

Greg laughed and pulled her into a hug.


“We need to talk,” Brad announced, sauntering over to where Fenny was enjoying watching the sea rolling in.

“Just go away, Brad,” Fenny sighed.

“No, we need to talk,” Brad demanded.

“What we need is to get away from each other,” Fenny hissed.

“But I don’t want to be away from you,” Brad declared.

“Yeah, well maybe you should have thought about that before you started insulting me.”

“Oh Fen, I’m sorry. I did it to wind you up,” Brad whined.

“Oh, it was fucking hilarious then,” Fenny spat.

Brad let out a heavy sigh and moved up the beach to take his shoes and socks off. He couldn’t roll up his jeans, so he didn’t bother. He wandered back to Fenny, who glared at him and let out a low scowl.

“Can we please just talk?” he begged.

“I don’t want to bloody talk to you, and I don’t want to see you,” Fenny hissed.

Brad narrowed his eyes at her. His nostrils flared with anger as he marched over, picked her up with his good arm and waded into the water.

“PUT ME DOWN, YOU ASSHOLE,” Fenny screamed.

“Are you going to talk to me?” Brad asked when he was thigh high in water.

“FUCK YOU,” Fenny yelled, so he let her drop with a huge splash. Fenny fell about for a moment, flipped her sopping hair back and glared at Brad, who raised an eyebrow at her. She breathed heavily for a few seconds, removed her wet glasses and put them in her back pocket, then dove at Brad, pushing him back into the water.


“What are they doing?” Paul asked upon his return as he joined Gina and Greg sitting on the rocks.

“Killing each other, we believe,” Gina mused.

“Well, as long as it gets rid off some of their agro, I’m not complaining,” Paul shrugged.

“But, if one doesn’t come back up, we leave the body right?” Greg asked.

“That’s horrible,” Gina gasped.

“I bought you a present,” Paul announced. “I went to the servo that was back up the road.”

“You went that far to pee?” Gina gasped.

“No, I pissed behind a tree. I went to the servo for food,” he mused and handed Gina a Mars Bar.

“CHOCOLATE,” Gina squealed and planted a kiss on Paul’s cheek.

“Greg,” he perked handing a Mars Bar to Greg.

“Thanks,” Greg said a bit shocked and then smiled. “Do you remember…”

“Yes,” Paul said sharply.

“Remember what?” Gina asked as she took a bite of her bar.

“Let’s just say there are certain substances that you smoke that may make you hungry,” Paul muttered.

“And when the shops are closed, in say Edinburgh,” Greg added.

“It’s amazing what’s you’ll do for a Mars Bar,” Paul sighed.

“Or booze,” Greg mused.

“More drugs,” Paul added.

“Sex,” Greg grinned.

“Please, I’ve heard enough,” Gina sighed, getting to her feet.

“What, you don’t want to know the whole Mars Bar story?” Paul asked.

“You know, I think I’ll leave that one to your blurred memories,” Gina replied and headed off down the beach.


Fenny and Brad felt their wounds stinging with the salt, but it didn’t stop them wrestling in the water.

“For fuck’s sake, Fen,” he gasped, wincing.

“Why did you do it?” she cried.

“Do what?” he panted.

“Call me frigid,” she spat, pushing her hair out of her face.

“I was horny. It happens.”

“So is that all you want from me, sex?”

“Of course it’s not. We’ve been so emotional since this whole bloody saga began it’s no wonder all we’ve done is fuck like rabbits. What more could we have done, huh?”

“Asshole,” Fenny spat as Brad pushed her back in the water.

“Did I ever say that I didn’t love you? NO! Did I beg you to move in with me? YES! Did I practically propose to you? YES I FUCKING DID,” he yelled.

“ONLY BECAUSE WE WERE HAVING SEX,” she yelled back.

“NO, BECUASE I LOVE YOU, YOU STUPID WOMAN,” he snapped and fell to his knees, exhausted.

They were now in the shallows, near the shore. Fenny crawled, her clothes heavy, through the water to Brad. She reached up and stroked his cheek. He looked at her pathetically.

“I love you too,” she peeped and brought her salty lips to his. They fell kissing against the sand as the water lapped around them.


“Well, I do believe they’ve made up,” Greg mused.

“Thank Christ for that,” Paul sighed.

Greg looked down the beach to where Gina was jumping waves and then to Paul. “Dude, your wife looks a bit lonely,” he announced.

Paul looked at Greg suspiciously.

“I’m serious man, go to her or I will,” Greg half smiled.

Paul smiled back, although he wasn’t sure why. Then he pulled off his sneakers and sauntered off down the beach to join Gina.

“I think I’ve walked into a parallel universe,” Paul announced as he put his arm around Gina’s shoulders.

“Why?” Gina asked suspiciously, her arm sliding around his back.

“Never mind,” Paul smiled and pulled Gina into a kiss.

As they kissed, Gina felt the water get higher around her ankles, then she realised Paul was walking her into the water.

“NO,” she squealed, Paul grabbed her hands and pulled her toward the water. “YOU BASTARD,” she added before twisting around and pulling him in. What ensued was a tug of war contest, which ended when they both tripped over and fell into the salty water.

The water made everything sting but they didn’t care and ended up kissing and wrestling about in the surf.


Greg felt a stab of jealousy, but knew he’d probably done the right thing. Besides, he had the added knowledge that she did love him. Perhaps not entirely to his pleasing, but hey, what can you do. Greg pulled off his shoes and socks and decided that he might as well join in. He stuck his glasses in one of his shoes and sauntered over to the water.

“Don’t tell me Proops is going to get wet?” Paul gasped.

“I thought we should share the experience,” Greg grinned and lunged at Paul. Paul, already too sore to move, ended up beneath the waves with Greg. They both came up gasping and laughing and Gina thought it was nothing short of hysterical, until they dunked her.


“So, does this mean we can stop fighting?” Brad gasped as he and Fenny still held each other in the shallows.

“Please,” Fenny breathed.

Brad kissed her again and then gave her a lopsided smile. “So will you?” he asked.

“Will I what?” Fenny asked, her head feeling a bit like a sea sponge.

“Wash my socks,” Brad sarced. “Marry me?”

Fenny looked to the side for a moment, then up, then into his eyes. “Yes,” she replied.

Brad kissed her again then leapt to his feet and dashed through the shallows to the others. “WE’RE GETTING MARRIED,” he yelled and pulled both Greg and Paul into the surf in a hug.

Gina looked over at Fenny who was laughing hysterically on her knees, so she dashed over and wrapped Fenny into a hug. “We did it Fen, we beat Ritza and you got your man.”

“And you got two,” Fenny giggled.

“Shut up,” Gina jeered and pushed Fenny back in the water. Fenny didn’t care. After everything that had happened, this was bliss.