9 – Water

Ryan, Greg, Wayne, Brad and Chip burst into the hospital and were greeted by an anxious nurse.

“What happened?” Ryan demanded.

“I don’t know, he was there and then he vanished,” the nurse babbled.

“Didn’t anyone see anything?” Brad shrieked.

“Well if they did no one is talking,” cussed the nurse.

“What about the security cameras? Surely they’d be caught on there?” Wayne piped up.

“Actually, we haven’t put new tapes in,” the nurse mumbled sheepishly.

“Well that’s really helpful! Our friend goes missing, possibly killed, and you, a hospital, ARE USELESS,” Greg snapped.

“Calm down, buddy,” Ryan breathed and patted Greg on the back.

“So now what are we gonna do?” Chip asked.

“Can we search his room?” Ryan grumbled.

“Certainly, but I doubt you’ll find anything,” the nurse sighed.

“Well that’ll be for us to decide,” Greg hissed.


“I think we should escape,” Colin announced as he gingerly got to his feet.

“And go where? There’s nothing out there, believe me, I’ve looked,” Drew scorned.

“Well I’d rather risk the nothing of out there to possible death,” Colin snapped.

“Fine, we’ll go, but I don’t want to die and get eaten by a koala bear.”

“They only eat gum leaves,” Colin breathed, bewildered.

“All the same, I’m going prepared,” Drew scorned and marched out of the room.

Colin hobbled into the dusty, decrepit kitchen and found Drew packing things into a shabby sports bag.

“Do you honestly think we need two 16oz bottles of lighter fluid?” Colin gasped.

“What if we want to light a fire?”

“We use matches.”

“It might not light.”

“Drew, Australia is made out of kindling, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Colin growled.

“Like I said, I want to be prepared,” Drew stated and shoved a rusty looking butcher knife in the bag.

“Oh now come on! We’re not going to need that.”

“We’ve gotta eat.”

“I am not killing native fauna.”

“Didn’t say you had to kill it, buddy,” Drew grinned.


Back at the hospital they found nothing of any use — there wasn’t a thing out of place. In fact, with the hospital’s total lack of security, there was no evidence at all.

Greg took a final dig and the nurse, insisting that she watch her back because things would catch up with her one day, before they headed back into the car park.

A small group of people had gathered near a grassy area just off the car park, and one of them shrieked in the guys’ direction.

“Quick, get a bucket of water or something, some idiot’s set a bin on fire!”

Wayne, ever the hero, dashed back into the hospital and returned seconds later with a bucket of water. He rushed through the crowd and dumped the lot into the bin.

“Nice work, Brady,” Greg chided.

“See, I told you he wasn’t inept,” Brad mused to Chip.

“Hey, there’s something in here,” Ryan announced as he looked at the smouldering remains of the bin’s contents. He stuck a hand in and retrieved a half melted object.

“It’s a video,” Chip stated.

“Yeah, and guess what,” Greg gasped from a the half twisted position he’d taken to read the remains of the cassette’s label. “It’s a video of Whose Line.”

A unanimous gasp filled the still night air.


Before they departed the house, Drew pointed out that Colin may wish to get dressed first, as the hospital gown left little to the imagination. The heavies had been kind enough to bring Colin’s clothes, so he dressed quickly and was lucky to stumble across an old, knobbly walking stick.

They’d been walking for about 40 minutes when Drew started to whine.

“I’m tired.”

“My heart bleeds,” Colin grumbled.

“I’m hungry,” Drew continued.

“There’s a surprise.”

“My feet hurt.”

“Oh, and I suppose my bullet wound is just tingling,” Colin spat.

“It might be.”

Colin whacked Drew’s butt with the walking stick.

“HEY!” Drew squealed.

“You need the exercise,” Colin grinned.

They walked a short while longer in silence. “Come on Col, let’s just set up camp for the night. It’s dark and cold and…”

“Ok, ok, let’s get a fire started. Over there looks good,” Colin said wearily as he pointed to a clearing.


“Great, they know who were are, now what?” Greg asked as they piled back into the 4×4.

“We’ve gotta find Colin,” Ryan breathed.

“Yeah, I know that, I’m worried about what the psycho bitch is gonna do now she knows who we are,” Greg sarced.

“Where do we even begin to look?” Wayne asked.

“What about that posh house she took us to last time?” Brad asked.

“Nah, she wouldn’t use the same place twice,” Chip grumbled.

“Well the heavies were heading toward the country,” Wayne said, stating the obvious.

“Yeah, but where in the country?” Ryan spat.

“Well we could just keep going from the abattoir and see where we end up,” Greg shrugged.

“Greg’s right, I think that’s our only option,” Brad nodded.

Ryan let out a heavy sigh and then said, “Ok, hold on.”

The others buckled up as Ryan put his foot down and skidded out of the hospital parking lot.


“NO I HAVEN’T LIT MY SOCKS ON FIRE BUT THANKS FOR THE IDEA!” Colin snapped as he and Drew struggled to light a fire.

“Just let me use the lighter fluid,” Drew begged.

“NO!” Colin growled. “We need more kindling. What else have you got in the bag?” he added.

“Not much,” Drew sighed, “I grabbed a few of those papers you found earlier, they look like someone’s old school work.”

“What type of school work involves drawing a wanted poster for someone who committed arson?” Colin asked.

Drew shrugged and lit the poster. He chucked it onto the pile of wood and it burst into flames. “Success!”

“Yeah, now all we need is food, shelter and a sense of security,” Colin mumbled.