Brad groaned as he opened his eyes and stared at the humming extractor fan on the bathroom ceiling. He couldn’t remember passing out on the tiles, or wrapping himself in a towel and especially where his pants might be. Still, there were plenty of upsides to this predicament. He was much closer to the toilet, the painkillers were in easy reach and it turned out the lighting system included a heater and so he was comfortably warm despite being sprawled on the floor. He sighed loudly and struggled to a sitting position and then to his feet. The room spun and he grabbed the towel rail for support until it was kind enough to stop. Then he shuffled over to the sink and began rummaging through the cupboard for some sort of drugs. The only thing he could find was some pills for period pain. He assumed they were Gina’s at some point or there was something Paul wasn’t telling him. Brad frowned at the packet and then decided it would have to do and downed two of the pink pills. He splashed water on his face and then headed back down the hall to his room. It wasn’t until he stopped and looked at the bed that he realised Fenny was missing. He had blurred, semi-pornographic memories of the previous evening but mostly it was too fuzzy to be a true recollection. He half groaned, half laughed as he collapsed back onto the mattress. Was it really a surprise Fenny wasn’t there? Something dumb had happened and she’d fled. History repeating, that’s all it was. She was bound to be back home hiding under her blanket and trying to pretend it hadn’t happened. ‘It’ being, as Brad slowly regained some thought process, that she’d got him drunk and seduced him in a rather non-Fenny manner. Brad pulled the blankets around him and sighed into the pillows. He was going to have to hunt her down, again and find out what on earth she was thinking but not right now, Fenny drama could wait for a few hours at least.

“I’m hungry,” Paul declared as he finished singing along to the entire Eurovision 2009 CD. Even though most of it wasn’t in English he went ahead and just made up the lyrics. It had made Gina laugh until she cried and that had been motivation enough to keep going. “And I need to pee.”

“I’ll pull up and you can pee on the road like normal men.”

“Are you saying I’m not normal?”

Gina glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “Do you really want me to answer that?”

“I feel infinitesimal and abused,” Paul chided as he gave her doe eyes.

“Awesome that’s what I was going for,” she chuckled and Paul tried to look hurt but just ended up giggling.

“Come on Genie we’ve been driving for hours, we should stop.”

“If we stop it’ll take longer to get there.”

“According to the road sign if you don’t stop every two hours we’ll die horribly.”

“We’ve had guns held to our heads and never died horribly,” Gina countered. “I hardly think driving continuously for a few hours is a greater threat.”

“Yes but me head butting you unconscious is.”

“What?” Gina gasped quickly glancing at a very serious looking Paul.

“My bladder is hurting to the point of desperate actions.”

“Ok, well, seeing as I like my face I’ll stop at the next town.”

Paul raised an eyebrow, “Thatta girl.”

It was another fifteen minutes until a small town swam into view. Gina slowed as the approached the outskirts and scanned the road signs to see what was on offer.

“TOILETS!” Paul yelled rather desperately and Gina turned left into a smaller street and eased the car to a stop. Paul leapt out and made a mad dash for the men’s room while Gina took her time to lock the car. She was pleased to find the ladies had locks on the doors, toilet seats and soap. When she returned Paul was leaning against the front of the car looking much relieved.

“Is your old man bladder better now?” she mused unlocking the car.

“Yes although I was disturbed to find an abandoned shoe in the urinal,” Paul declared with some amusement. “I mean, how does that happen? Did some guy, while taking a piss lose his footing and accidentally kick his brogue into the urinal, into his own waste stream and decided that it was too disgusting to retrieve?”

Gina pondered a moment. “Sure that sounds plausible.”

Paul gave her a wry smile. “Let’s walk to the nearest bakery eh, I’m sick of sitting and its only a short walk.”

“Is this some kind of eco warrior moment? Less driving means saving the planet?” Gina teased and Paul laughed.

“Fuck the environment, I’m just sick of your company,” he chided and nudged her. “Being locked in a car with you is hell.”

Gina giggled and shoved him into hedge.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come for a walk with us?” Shelagh asked as she pulled on an insanely floppy red hat.

“No, I’m happy here,” Fenny replied, her face buried somewhere in the pillows of the motel room bed.

“Suit yourself,” Shelagh sighed. “Is there anything you want us to bring you back? Something to eat maybe?”

“A quick and painless way to end my life would be awesome.”

“Fen!”

“Or some sort of toasted cheese sandwich.”

“I can lace it with rat poison.”

“You’re a good friend.”

Shelagh shook her head. “Take a nap and ring me if you need anything.”

“Will do,” Fenny lied as she waited for Shelagh’s footsteps to fade and the door to close. She let out a sigh of relief and rolled onto her back. She was feeling a little better and now she was alone Fenny decided a shower was needed to make her feel a less disgusting. She grabbed her toiletries and some clean underwear and headed into the bathroom. The shower was nothing more than a tiled floor, a wall and the shower head. Ideal, she supposed if you’d just been out in the motel pool or at the beach. Fenny turned on the water, stripped and slid under the water. The heat was refreshing and she felt revived as she washed her hair and soaped herself in coconut scented shower gel. As she watched the scented bubbles glide off her skin and pool at her feet Fenny couldn’t help but remember several rather pornographic shower incidents with Brad. She smiled and rubbed her back, the pain inflicted by that soap dish had been worth it, so worth it.

After finishing her shower Fenny changed into cut off jeans and a singlet then as she towel dried her hair she wandered outside onto the small back porch. She intended to hang her towel on the clothes airer in the back of the door. She rubbed fiercely at her long locks, stopped to blow some strands out of her face and realised that she wasn’t alone. On the next porch there was a very well built man in nothing but a loose pair of sweat pants hanging out his washing. Fenny let her eyes move over his toned shoulders, then down over the muscles in his back and finally to the impressive pertness of his rear. As he stretched up to hang a pair of socks on the line his pants slid a little and the top of a little red and white tattoo emerged. That looked oddly familiar. Fenny shook her head, no, it couldn’t be.

“Oh thank god Fen we thought you were dead,” Artie and Shelagh declared, breathless as they flew out of the back door. “We rang and rang and you didn’t answer.”

“What are you…” Artie paused. “Oh hello.” He added noticing the near naked man on the other porch.

“Did you say Fen?” the man announced as he turned around, his eyes narrowed and then surprised.

Fenny dropped her towel. “Danny,” she gasped not sure if she was shocked, appalled, a little turned on or all three.

Brad paid the cab driver and hauled himself into the street. He pushed the sunglasses further up his nose and made his way toward Gina’s apartment. The stairs seemed extra steep and it took all his concentration to get to the top. Outside Gina’s door he took a deep breath. Time to deal with Fenny’s crazy and his crazy and attempt some sort of relationship progress. Oh and he must remember to ask about the whole lecturer sex thing as well. Brad knocked and waited, nothing. He knocked several more times and was beginning to wonder if they’d been kidnapped. Well it wouldn’t be the first time would it.

“They’re not home,” snapped a familiar voice and Brad turned to see Moonstar with a terrified looking Lewis in her arms.

“Oh,” Brad managed. “Will they be back soon?”

“Oh who knows,” Moonstar grumbled as she removed the cat’s claws from her patchwork vest. “Fenny left very early this morning with some flouncing idiot and Gina left much later to collect her flouncing idiot.”

“You wouldn’t know where they went would you?”

“Gina said something about Byron Bay but I’ve given up caring,” Moonstar ranted. “Does she ever think of this poor, helpless animal? No, she abandons him on a whim and who’s left to pick up the pieces? Me! Well as much as I love animals I can’t afford to keep doing this. What with the current economic climate and the children…”

“Children?”

“My children Brad,” Moonstar snapped. “River, Joaquin, Zorba and whatever this one is,” she pointed to her small swollen belly.

“Ah congratulations,” Brad winced as she thrust Lewis into his hands.

“Why can’t everyone just save Whales and leave me alone,” she finished with a sniff and stormed back into her apartment.

“My thoughts exactly,” Brad yelled after her as he cradled Lewis in his arms. “Well puss looks like we have to go and hire a car and head to Byron Bay. I’m sure that’s not going to end well,” he paused to stroke Lewis’s fur. “Are you car trained?”

“Your tiredness is going to kill us,” Paul declared as Gina let out another long yawn. “Nano sleeps kill. The blue signs say so.”

“My choking the life from you could kill you sooner,” Gina scowled as she shot him a sideways glance.

“You used to be so meek.”

“I’ve evolved.”

“You’re like the third Crispin sister.”

“Now you’re being silly.”

“Your name does end in an ‘A’.”

“I’m serious about the choking.” Gina frowned and then yawned again.

“Come on woman we should find somewhere to spend the night,” Paul sighed and patted her thigh. “You can always punch Fen tomorrow.”

“Fine, next motel we’ll stop at.”

They drove in silence for another 20 minutes until a motel came into view. Gina turned off the road and pulled to a stop outside the little office. They both slid out of the car and stretched a moment before making their way into the office. They were greeted by a rather overweight lady in an ill fitting singlet and elastic waisted skirt.

“Hi there, gosh you look exhausted,” she smiled as Gina attempted to tidy her hair.

“It’s been a big day,” Gina nodded. “Would you have a spare room or two?”

“I’ve only got the one but that shouldn’t be a problem,” the woman mused as Paul wandered in looking as gormless as possible.

“No, I suppose not,” Gina sighed as she gave the woman her details.

“Where are you two from then?”

“Sydney.”

“Having a little getaway are you?”

“We’re hunting down a friend who keeps coming back into our lives and systematically making bad things happens.”

“She wants to punch her,” Paul piped up. “And I want her to abuse her for drunkenly destroying my home.”

The woman gave a chuckle and winked. “Of course you are.”

“Seriously,” Gina enthused.

“I won’t tell no one you’re here, dangerous liaisons huh?”

Paul snorted with laughter. “Not that dangerous we’re divorced.”

“So divorced,” Gina added as she finished by writing down her registration number.

“Get away,” the woman grinned. “You two are the most married couple I’ve ever seen and I’ve been married 32 years.”

“I hope you’re listening” Paul said as he took the key. “Maybe its a sign Genie.”

“Not happening and if you mention it again the choking will be used,” Gina threatened as they headed out of the office.

“Why must you ruin the moment,” Paul huffed.

“You ruined it by being in it.”

“You forget I have the key and you have to move the car,” he grinned wickedly and took off toward the motel room.

“Damn you to hell McDermott,” Gina hissed as she unlocked the car.

“Danny?” Artie said cocking his head to the side and looking from Fenny to Danny and back again. “Not that Danny?”

“Popcorn Danny?” Shelagh gasped. “Ooh I see…”

“You…you showed them the popcorn picture,” Danny winced as he rubbed his neck.

“Actually my entire class has seen it,” Fenny swallowed and blushed slightly. “I kinda teach art now.”

“Are they students?”

“No they’re fellow teachers.”

“So why have they seen that picture?”

“They’ve seen all the pictures,” Fenny said shamefully as Shelagh licked her lips and Artie looked like he was about to explode.

“You’re an Adonis,” Artie declared wistfully.

“Are you single?” Shelagh smiled and attempted to flirt by playing with her hair.

“Ok, you two need to leave immediately,” Fenny scowled, glaring at her friends.

“Oh no we have to say,” Artie enthused as he tried to casually lean against the porch railing.

“Fine,” Fenny hissed. “Then I’m leaving,” she added and hoisted herself over the railing that separated the two porches. She landed clumsily and flailed until she smacked into Danny’s chest.

“So many memories,” Danny mused as he opened his motel room door and ushered her inside.

“I apologise those two are idiots,” Fenny sighed running her fingers through her damp hair.

“That brings back memories too,” Danny chuckled as he closed the door.

Fenny shamelessly let her eyes roam over his body, “You look great, very tanned.”

“You still look pale an interesting.”

“Really? Tha…” Fenny stopped mid flirtatious smile. “What am I doing? I’m running away from my husband and although appealing I don’t think getting naked with you after all these years is really going to help any.”

“You’re married?”

“I was always married, to Brad.”

“Of course,” Danny coughed. “How’d I forget?”

“It’s easy to do,” Fenny nodded as they fell into an awkward silence.

“How about I put the kettle on,” Danny suggested as he dug the kettle out from one of the cupboards.

“Good idea,” Fenny agreed as she got herself comfortable on the bed. “So I’m running away from my husband what’re you doing here? Other than growing a terrible beard.”

“It seemed like a good stop on my way back to Sydney.”

“Any particular reason you’d going back to Sydney?”

“Not really, just seems like its time y’know.”

Fenny nodded and smiled. “She got divorced.”

“Bullshit.”

“Why do you think I’m here huh? I’m her best friend and she needed me.”

Danny cocked his head to the side and pouted. “Divorced for good?”

“Over three years.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah you missed the rebound sex train,” Fenny mused. “She’s got herself some young foreign correspondent instead.”

“That’d be right,” he huffed and crossed his arms. “What about you and Sherwood and the pervy art teachers?”

“That’s a long story so you better make with the tea first.”

Brad zipped up his fly and looked to a rather annoyed looking Lewis who was scratching the ground as he clearly pondered escape from his harnessed hell. “You all done there dude?” Brad enthused as he headed back to the car. Lewis trotted behind as they emerged from behind the clump of bushes and stopped at the roadside. A SUV packed to bursting with a large family drive past and shot the strange scene of a man with a cat on a leash in the middle of nowhere a startled look. “Honestly, people wouldn’t look at me like I was mental if you were a pittbull.” He swept Lewis into his arms and dropped him back on the passenger seat. He’s managed to hire the tiniest beige Barina possible and while his back was aching he had managed to master driving with his knees around his chest. Brad started the engine and they took off again. The GPS which seemed only to allow his some strange Irish man piped up with the useless direction of, ‘drive straight for 200kms’ and then fell silent again. Lewis bored by the entire experience curled up and dozed off. “Don’t sleep,” Brad huffed and poked Lewis until he stirred. “You’ve got to keep me focussed dude, we’ve got a long trip and I have to do all the driving.” Lewis responded by sinking his teeth into Brad’s finger. “SON OF A…” Brad nearly lost control of the Barina and had to swerve to avoid a ‘Rest Every 2 Hours’ sign. Lewis in turn got flung to the floor in a mass of paws and ginger fur. “See what you did? That’s karma puss!” Brad snorted as he levelled his driving again. Lewis gave a low growl and opted to resume sleeping on the floor. 


“So why are you in the Solomon Islands then if nothing is happening?” Gina mused as she pressed the phone closer to her ear. “I think you’re just having a holiday. Me? Oh I’m just hanging out at home,” she winced and was glad Lee couldn’t see her face. “Yeah, I wish you were here too. Speak to you soon. That’s disgusting, you rude boy…you’ll get punished when you get back.” she ended the call giggling.

“I feel ill,” Paul grumbled. “And lying to the boyfriend already, nice.”

“I lied to you plenty of times,” Gina chided as she put her cell phone on the beside table.

“Oh really?” Paul mused sitting up. “Well then maybe you’re the one who should be punished.”

“If you even think about it I’ll beat your fun bits into a uselessness with the customary motel bible.”

“Well that’s no way to speak to someone you promised a lap dance to.”

“I never promised you a lap dance,” Gina huffed as she got up from the bed. “You promised yourself.”

Paul let out a growl. “You used to be fun.”

“You used to be sexy.”

“Used to be?”

“Traded you in for a younger model,” Gina mused as she chucked a pillow at him and grabbed her towel from the end of the bed. “I’m going to have a shower.”

“Good, you stink,” Paul called after her. He glared at the television. “Used to be.” He listened as the water was turned on and then chucked the remote down. “I’ll give her used to be,” he grumbled as he slid off the bed and padded over to the bathroom door. He softly pulled the handle down and opened the door. He peered around and was pleased to see Gina was already under the water and no where to be seen. Like all cheap Australian motels there shower wasn’t fancy and was shielded from view with a wall. Paul crept into the room and began peeling his clothes off. He could hear Gina humming to herself as he dropped his boxers and moved toward the edge of the wall, he took a deep breath and then stepped into the shower. Gina who was shampooing her hair went wide eyed but didn’t bother trying to hide her nakedness.

“What the fuck are you doing?” she gasped, grabbed the shampoo bottle and aimed it him.

“What do you think I’m doing?” Paul countered as he stepped toward her and snatched the shampoo bottle. He chucked it over the wall and into the bathroom. It clattered onto the tiles.

“Something I’d prefer you didn’t,” Gina swallowed as Paul backed her against the wall. “You’re making me very uncomfortable.”

“You don’t look that uncomfortable,” Paul breathed as he rested one hand on the wall behind her shoulder and the other he let run between her very wet, naked breasts, over her stomach and let it come to rest on her waist.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Gina whimpered as her arms crept around him. Her hands instinctively clinging to his shoulders.

“Well it could be because I’m ragingly horny,” Paul said softly his lips edging toward hers. “Or it could be because I’m still madly in love with you.” He inched his lips closer, she could almost taste them. “But mostly I wanted to prove that you still find me sexy.” Gina felt the moment drop away as Paul stepped back and cackled.

“Arsehole,” she half snapped, half sobbed.

“Are you saying I’m not right?” He asked raising an eyebrow and pushing back his now sopping hair.

“Just go away,” Gina replied coldly wrapping her arms around herself.

“Fine,” Paul sighed. “If its any consolation, you look more amazing naked than I remember.”

“GO AWAY!” Gina snapped and hurled a loofah at him.

“Brad is a more patient man than I’ve given him credit for,” Danny mused as Fenny finished her second cup of tea. “So is the current fleeing a continuation of the earlier stuff?”

“No, I did something so foolish,” Fenny sighed as she rested her mug on the bedside cupboard. “I decided the best way to approach the situation was to get him drunk.”

“Because that’s worked in the past.”

“I’ve never claimed to be a genius,” Fenny chided and continued. “Anyway, I got quite drunk too and the whole thing was a mess and we had sex…”

“That doesn’t sound bad.”

“It’s not the way to deal with relationship issues.”

“Unless its having sex with me.”

“Yes true,” she giggled. “Anyway we made a mess of Paul’s place and I just made my usual rash decision and left.”

“Why were you at Paul’s?”

“Brad’s staying there and Paul had gone to Gina’s to mourn Patrick Swayze or some rubbish that’s just an excuse for him to try and get back with her which she so doesn’t want because he is an ass.”

“I thought they were very divorced?”

Fenny raised an eyebrow. “Is this the first time they’ve been very divorced and still lusting after each other?”

“Good point,” Danny breathed as sunk down onto the bed further. “I’m sure your friends are wondering where you are.”

“They know where I am.”

“Do you want to call Brad?”

“Not really, no.”

“Hungry?”

“Are you kidding.”

“Want me to hold you against my amazing body and we can watch some bad TV?”

“Now there’s an idea I can get behind,” Fenny chided as Danny pulled her down into his arms and reached for the television remote. “We’ve got regional news or MacGyver?”

“Dude, MacGyver,” Fenny enthused as she leaned against his chest. “And when the commercials are on we can discuss how you’re going to shave off that horrible beard.”

“It makes me look distinguished.”

“It makes you look homeless.”

“It’s not that…”

“Awful, just…awful…”

“Then you shave it off.”

Fenny lifted her head and caught his eye, Danny flinched at the mischievous glint in it.

Brad yawned as he knocked on the thick wooden door. He’d tried three motels and none of them would let him stay with a cat. The Bed and Breakfast was his last hope otherwise he was sleeping in the car or possibly in a ditch. The door opened and an elderly woman appeared, she gave him a bemused look.

“Hi there, my name is Brad, this is Lewis and we’re very tired. Could we possible have a room for the night and maybe a bowl of water?”

The old woman chuckled. “My name is Maggie and I’d be delighted to give you a room.” She moved aside and ushered them inside. “Follow me,” she enthused and led the way down a long hall to a door at the end, which she opened and flicked on the light. It smelt clean and aired, the bed looked inviting and had he not been holding a cat he would have grabbed the old woman and kissed her.

“Thank you so much Maggie.”

“It’s no bother,” she smiled. “Have you boys eaten?”

“Well we shared a pie…”

“I’ll organise something while you settle in,” she said gently and patted his arm before disappearing down the hall.

Brad walked across the room and collapsed on the bed with Lewis who, once let go, also collapsed on the bed. “I’ve nano slept and gone to heaven,” Brad sighed and closed his eyes.

Gina lay in bed feeling stupid and humiliated. She glared into the darkness, unable to relax and yet part of her, a rather large needy part, wanted to curl up next to Paul where he’d been relegated to the couch. She let out a heavy sigh and then hushed herself as Paul arose and staggered past into the bathroom. As she tried to ignore the paper thin walls and the sound of her ex-husband peeing Gina let all her thoughts come to the fore. What the hell was she doing? Why was she in this situation? How pissed was she they hadn’t shagged against the tiles? Who was she to pretend to be moral at all? When was she going to admit to herself what she really thought? And what, what did she really want right now? The bathroom door opened and closed and Paul’s silhouette reappeared. He glanced from the bed to the couch and back again.

“Can I use the bed now my back is killing me?” he asked in a whisper.

“Ok,” she replied and felt him move into the bed beside her. He turned his back on her and pulled the covers up to his chin. Gina felt close to tears and she wasn’t even sure why. She wanted to hold him, that’s what she did when sharing a bed with Paul. Lying together like strangers was too painful. She turned to face the same way as him, wondering whether she should reach out or not. She felt him shift and his hand grasp hers, he coaxed her toward him. She snuggled into his back, his hand clasping hers and holding it firmly to his chest. She dropped a soft kiss on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

“Thank you,” she whispered.