Drew Carey arrived home after a particularly long taping of The Drew Carey Show. The taping was only made long because Drew was supposed to be doing a touching, sweet, generally mushy scene. However, Ryan and Diedrich took the liberty of making him crack up by being stupid at every available opportunity.

Drew unlocked the door and went to flick on the light. Nothing happened, and the house stayed pitch black.

“Great, a fuse must have blown,” Drew hissed and staggered inside.

He banged into several chairs, a table, and two walls before stumbling into the kitchen. The kitchen was swamped in the dull light from the moon, and Drew was glad he could finally see, if only a little bit. He wandered over and tried the fridge. The light didn’t come on. The whole house was void of any electricity.

“Now all my food’s gonna spoil,” Drew huffed and reached for the phone. There was no dial tone. “I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation,” Drew breathed and fumbled for his mobile phone. That was gone as well. He figured it must have fallen out with all his stumbling about.

Drew let out a defeated sigh and navigated through the dark into his bedroom. He found his nightstand and fumbled through the top drawer’s various contents, which included an unopened box of condoms, an address book, and a photo of his ex-girlfriend.

He pulled out the small purple phone he’d received in Australia. He hadn’t ever wanted to see the bloody thing again, but he was desperate.

Before Drew could switch it on, he felt a familiar feeling; one that he’d only had once before, when Ryan had shoved a gun barrel into the back of his head.