Paul sauntered out onto the back veranda with a mug of tea in one hand and looked amused at the scene before him. Brad was trying valiantly to remove the larger weeds from the garden, but ended up with handfuls of greenery while the rest of the plant staunchly remained in the ground. Added to the hilarity of a so obviously Californian person in bad Hawaiian print shorts attempting to garden was the group of women who had formed what could only be described as an enthusiastic audience.

“Hey Sherwood,” Paul called, quickly gaining Brad’s attention. “I don’t know that I’m comfortable with having a group of women draped over my back fence.”

“It’s a gardening club,” Brad declared. “We’re discussing technique.”

“You might be, mate,” Paul mused.

“What?

“That’s great!”

“Thanks,” Brad smiled and went back to explaining how to bend your knees correctly when weed pulling.

“Oh, that’s just embarrassing,” Gina declared, draping her arms over Paul’s shoulders and dropping a kiss on his cheek.

“And look at those sad bloody housewives listening to his every word,” Paul agreed and sipped his tea.

“You’re just jealous because he has an audience and you don’t.”

“I’ll have Australia has my audience tomorrow.”

“Oh, I better make room for your ego then.”

“I don’t have an ego,” he quipped. “I just have a very acute sense of confidence.”

“You’re a show pony,” she teased.

“That’s the non-specific explanation.”

“You’re full of shit.”

“Now you’re just being nasty,” he groused as a car horn sounded from the street. “That’ll be my cab.”

“Talk about timing,” she breathed as he passed her his mug.

“It knows when I’m being harassed,” Paul smiled. “I’ll see you tonight,” he added and they shared a quick kiss. “And I meant everything I said last night.”

“I know,” Gina nodded and cheekily slapped his arse as he headed to the door. They stared at each other a moment before Paul cracked up and mumbled something like ‘you’ll keep’ and disappeared into the house.

“This feels totally surreal,” Fenny breathed as Danny traced kisses over her back.

“Because you’re married and we’ve committed about five cardinal sins,” Danny mused.

“No, because I’ve been having sex in Paul McDermott’s bed without actually having to screw him,” Fenny giggled.

“Just think of the women that’ve soiled this mattress,” Danny declared as Fenny rolled over.

“Ew, I’d hate to think we’ve done it in the same place Gina and Paul first did.”

“No, that was a hotel room floor in Adelaide, and we haven’t done that.”

“There’s still time,” she chided. “How long does it take to fly to Adelaide?”

“Long enough,” he sighed. “You know what the worst thing is?”

“I have to go back to my husband eventually?”

“No, Paul fucked Freya in this bed.”

“I’m so having a shower,” Fenny cringed as she dragged herself from the warmth of the bed. She wrapped herself in a sheet, turned to the door, but tripped over a stray end and landed in a ball on the floor.

“Are you alright?” Danny gasped, ready to leap out of bed.

“No,” she giggled, deciding the whole situation was entirely funnier than it had any right to be. “That really hurt,” she added and rubbed her shin. He crawled beneath the quilt and poked his head out near her.

“Want me to kiss it better?” he smiled.

“Maybe in a minute,” Fenny laughed, ruffling his hair. “Oh hey, what’s this,” she added and stuck her arm beneath the bed.

“You probably shouldn’t look through Paul’s stuff, he threatened to do something nasty to me with a goat if I did.”

“Sketchbook,” she mumbled, dusting off the abandoned book and ignoring him. She expected it to be full of drawings of monsters and freaks like he usually did and was surprised to see some normal sketches of Gina.

“Is that Gina?” Danny asked, moving forward a bit more and then wished he hadn’t and let out a low groan.

“What did you do?” Fenny asked, still intrigued in the sketches.

“Crushed a vital part of my anatomy,” he gasped, looking strangely pained for a moment.

“Want me to kiss it better?” she said huskily, dropping the book.

“I’ll kiss yours if you kiss mine,” he smiled and Fenny needed no further encouragement. She got to her feet, dropped the sheet and was quickly engulfed in a passionate, lustful kiss between the sheets with Danny.

“You’ve never pulled weeds in your life, have you?” Gina mused, approaching Brad who looked at her amused. She was sporting an old, faded pair of jeans, sneakers, singlet and pigtails.

“And I suppose you have, ‘girl whose escaped from morning television,'” Brad teased.

“Keep that up and I won’t help you,” she chided and pushed him aside. She gripped a weed that was nearly as tall as herself, put her feet either side of it and pulled. It came right out, roots and all. “See, easy.”

“Well done,” Vicki perked and Gina looked up quickly at her neighbour and friends lined up along the fence.

“Vicki, don’t get me wrong, you’re a lovely person, and while I know your life is exceedingly dull and all, I’d really appreciate it if you stopped treating me, my husband and my friends like we’re daytime TV.”

“I didn’t realise we were imposing,” Vicki said innocently.

“Well now you do,” Gina countered, crossing her arms. Vicki looked bashfully at her friends.

“Club’s over today, girls,” she muttered and the women descended back into the house.

“You don’t think you were a little harsh,” Brad asked, wiping his hand across his forehead. “I thought she was your friend?”

“We have a right to privacy,” she replied. “I’d like to be able to kiss my husband in the morning without the screaming millions.”

“I find them entertaining,” he perked.

“Yes, well, like Paul, you’re a show pony,” Gina mused, pulling up another weed. “You know what would really help?”

“Those people that come and do your back garden while you’re on vacation?” Brad suggested.

“Well yes, Ground Force would be useful, but I was actually thinking a lawnmower and a weed whacker might help too.”

“We’re going to a garden centre?” Brad queried, seemingly excited by the idea.

“Hell no, let’s just borrow from the neighbours.”

“You just insulted the neighbours.”

“Oh well, keep your shirt off and pop round and ask.”

“Are you saying I should acquire gardening implements by flaunting my sexuality?”

“Yeah,” Gina nodded enthusiastically.

“Okay,” Brad grinned and bounded off toward the side gate.

“Okay, so then I turn back, read the autocue, make some crude remark about masturbation and then we go to the vox pop,” Paul nodded, trying his best not to sound bored. However, the enthusiasm for rehearsing had passed a long time ago and now all he wanted to do was just get the damn thing over and done with.

“And I walk up here,” Mieke perked, quickly scaling some steps. “Then talk about orgasms with a couple of porn stars.”

“You get all the fun,” Paul teased.

“You want to talk to the porn stars?” she mused.

“Bunny and the Cowboy, sure, why not?” he grinned. “And can I talk to the Penthouse models as well?”

“What would your wife say?” Mieke asked as she sauntered back down the steps that rose up between the audience.

“‘Paul, you’re an idiot’,” Paul replied and then looked to the director. “Can we stop now?”

“No, we’ve got three more segments to run through, and then I have a few more stage directions I need to go over and…”

Paul tried not to roll his eyes but it didn’t work. Sure it was essentially going to be a live telecast, but he was more than ready to deal with whatever it threw at him. Besides, if anything did go wrong, he had Mikey there to prompt him with some inane gag.

“I’m so paranoid it’s all going to go wrong,” Mieke declared, pulling her fingers nervously.

“This is nothing,” Paul shrugged. “Really, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“No one turns up, the autocue dies, you get laryngitis, I get a black eye and the director has a stroke,” she babbled.

“Okay, sure, if you want to be completely negative…”

“Not to mention the satellite could fail and all the television audience gets is a signal error for two hours,” she added, looking at him blankly.

“Have you ever considered therapy,” he chided before the director yelled at them to get a move on.

“Do you really have to go?” Fenny sighed, looking despondently at Danny who was buttoning up a clean shirt.

“Yes, otherwise I won’t be able to pay McDermott’s rent,” Danny groused. “And as much as it pains me, you should get back to your husband.”

“Minor technicality,” she purred, wrapping her arms around Danny’s waist and prompting what was probably their millionth kiss of the afternoon.

“You’re a very naughty girl,” he mused. “But I’m not going to be swayed,” he added, leading her into the living room.

“Do I look like I’ve been rolling around in a another man’s arms for most of the day?” she asked, quickly feeling self-conscious.

“Nope,” he breathed, handing Fenny her backpack and grabbing his keys.

“Today’s been fantastic,” she suddenly announced, grabbing his arm.

“Exactly, so don’t ruin it, and just take Gina’s car back to her, yeah,” Danny cooed, stroking Fenny’s cheek with his thumb. He unlocked the apartment door and they stepped out only to come face to face with Freya.

“Well, isn’t this a surprise,” Freya smiled and crossed her arms.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Danny groused. “Fen was helping pack Paul’s stuff.”

“Without Paul?” Freya laughed. “I’m not an idiot.”

“Much,” Fenny mumbled into Danny’s shoulder.

“So your husband knows you were here then?” Freya asked. “I mean, I’d hate to run into him and accidentally mention this little meeting.”

“You wouldn’t,” Fenny gasped and then realised Freya was clearly insane and probably would.

“Well, there is one way you can keep me quiet,” Freya perked. “You help me and I won’t breathe a word of this.” Danny and Fenny looked at each other a moment and then back at Freya. What choice did they really have?

Gina looked miserably at the awful black and hot pink outfit she’d been given by the wardrobe girl and decided that she was only wearing the jacket and would keep her jeans on. It wasn’t like anyone was going to see below the desk anyway. By the time Gina had her make-up and hair done, Freya waltzed into the room in some god awful burnt orange ensemble which she declared portrayed a hot afternoon.

“Hot pink is really you,” Freya sneered as she carefully applied some more mascara.

“And the pumpkin look is really you,” Gina countered, sipping from a bottle of water.

“You think you’re so great, don’t you?” Freya laughed. “I mean you’re the face of the news, you’ve got a new house, fancy car…”

“What’s your point?” Gina sighed.

Freya leaned in closer, “Your perfect world is going to be shattered soon.”

“My world has never been perfect.”

“You don’t get it, do you?”

“What am I supposed to get? As far as I can tell, you’re talking shit.”

Freya narrowed her eyes, “Paul is so going to be mine once and for all, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, grow up,” Gina snapped. “I know what happened last night, he told me.”

“Last night is old news, Gina,” Freya smiled deviously. “Better kiss your marriage goodbye,” she added and turned back to the mirror.

Gina stepped forward to throttle her but was grabbed from behind by Danny who dragged her out into the corridor. “It’s not worth it,” he soothed.

“It mightn’t be worth it, but it sure as hell would make me feel better,” she hissed and kicked the wall. “Oh ow, shit,” she gasped on discovering it was brick.

Brad emptied the last catcher of grass into a compost heap he’d created earlier and looked at the now cleaner back garden. Sure there was still a bit of rubbish to be cleared, but essentially it looked less like downtown Basra.

“Oh wow,” Fenny gasped, stepping out onto the verandah. “I can’t believe how different it looks.”

“I know, you’d hardly think it was the same place,” he agreed. “And look at this,” he added, motioning to some weathered brick foundations.

“Am I supposed to know what that is?”

“There used to be a barbecue,” he perked. “I thought I might try and re-build it or get it re-built as a present for them.”

“I think getting in a professional might be better,” she laughed. “I mean, not that I don’t think you’re fully capable of such workmanship.”

“It can’t be that hard,” he shrugged. “I could make one for us back in the States.”

“We live in an apartment.”

“We have a balcony.”

“You’re such an idiot,” she giggled and stifled a yawn.

“The gallery wear you out?” he asked, pulling her into a sweaty embrace.

“Trying to take in all those wonderful pieces of art at once is very tiring,” she chided. “You stink.”

“I’ve been working hard, not swanning around looking at pictures…art…looking at art.”

“Nice save,” she smiled and brought her lips to his. She ran her fingers down his slowly tanning, sweaty chest and felt a twinge of guilt, but she wasn’t sure if it was for Brad and Danny.

“Don’t suppose you want to help me get clean again?” Brad cooed.

“Actually, I was going to catch Gina reading the news. I haven’t seen it yet,” she sighed. “I’ll make it up to you later,” she added and kissed him again.

“Fine, but there’s plenty of other women around here who’d love to soap down my naked flesh,” he huffed.

“Oh really? Shall I pop next door and get Vicki then?” she teased as they headed indoors.

“Oh, you think she’d be up for it?” Brad chirped and Fenny shoved him in the back, which caused him to laugh all the way into the bathroom. Fenny headed for the living room and stopped at the door. While the room had been painted, Gina and Paul had been too busy to do anything else and it was looking a bit empty and sad. Fenny walked into the room and switched the television on as she wandered over to the packed boxes in the corner.

Gina waited for the news director to give the signal that they were off air, and then hurried away from the desk. She had no desire to be caught in another confrontation with Freya, who was entirely too happy, which unsettled Gina even more. She began to settle as she approached the make-up room and slipped her jacket off as she opened the door. Gina nearly died when she saw Paul sitting in one of the make-up chairs playing with some lip gloss.

“What are you doing here?” she gasped, her first thought going straight to Freya.

“I thought I’d surprise you,” Paul replied, slightly taken aback. “I haven’t surprised you at work since, well, let’s just call it ‘that dark day,'” he added, sliding off the seat.

“And that’s all?”

“Yeah, why?” Paul asked suspiciously.

“Nothing,” Gina replied unconvincingly.

“Yeah, and my penis is three feet long,” he chided. “I could tell just by watching you on TV that you weren’t happy.”

“It’s nothing, really,” she breathed. “Freya was just being evil earlier.”

“How many times do I have to tell you?” he huffed. “Freya isn’t worth the jism that was used to create her.”

“Such a charming analogy,” she giggled.

“Well nothing that evil could be created purely from the body of a woman,” he groused.

“Oh no, I’ve given my mood to you now,” Gina laughed and wrapped Paul up in a hug. “Let’s start again, shall we.”

“I think that’s a good idea, no mention of the ‘F’ word.”

“Agreed,” she perked. “Thank you for surprising me.”

“My pleasure, it makes up for the tediously boring day I’ve had.”

“That bad?”

“If I have to talk about the intricacies of sex much more I think I’ll actually go off the act itself.”

“Oh, can’t have that,” Gina smiled as they both moved in for a kiss but were interrupted by the door opening.

“Oh,” Freya squeaked.

“Hey Freya,” Gina sighed as she felt Paul’s body tense in her arms. “Did you want something?”

“Well I…” Freya started flustering and Gina watched her turn purple as Paul kissed her neck. The tension was broken by Danny pushing past Freya into the room and looking at Gina and Paul bemused.

“See, I told you they were set,” he declared, looking at Freya and then wandering off to remove his make-up. Freya, obviously traumatised by the entire situation, hurried off. The second she left the tension disappeared from Paul’s body.

“Well, maybe now she’ll get it,” Gina shrugged.

“We can only hope,” Paul breathed, kissing her neck again.

“I’m feeling good, we should celebrate.”

“Celebrate what?”

“I don’t know, but it’s an excuse to have a barbie.”

“One problem babe, we don’t have a barbecue.”

“I’ll borrow Vicki and Scott’s,” Gina mused. “Should she be talking to me again.”

“Do you have to scare everyone you meet?”

“This from you.”

“I don’t scare people.”

“Yeah ya do.”

“Dan, do I scare people?” Paul called across to Danny who was changing back into his casual shirt.

“Yeah, you freak the shit out of ’em,” Danny replied, dropping a pile of cotton wool balls in the bin.

“Cool,” Paul smiled wickedly. “Hey Genie.”

“Yes Pauly,” Gina giggled as she took to removing her own make-up.

“Do we have any meat?” Paul asked. “For the barbie?”

“No, we’ll have to go shopping,” she replied.

“I hate shopping,” he groused, trying to tease her back into his arms.

“That’s a shame, because we’re out of beer too,” she chided.

“In that case I love shopping and you need to hurry,” Paul declared, grabbing both their bags and trying to coax her away from the mirror.

“Do you think they’ll like it?” Fenny asked as Brad sprawled out on the newly placed couch.

“I don’t care,” Brad yawned. “I can’t believe you made me move furniture.”

“Well, you want to help them by building a barbecue, and I helped by setting out the living room,” Fenny said matter-of-factly, setting out the last of Gina’s stuffed giraffes and one familiar ocelot.

“Yeah, but your taste is different from theirs,” he countered.

“I mixed in a bit of them both,” she declared. “I never realised Paul had so many awards.”

“If you piled them on top of one another they’d be taller than him,” he laughed.

“That’s mean,” she giggled and pounced on him. They wrestled for a moment before both gave up and just lay together instead.

“I feel like we’ve barely gotten to spend any time together, and that was the point of coming here,” he suddenly declared.

“I haven’t wanted to drag you from the garden,” she sighed. “We’ll spend time together, we will.”

“We’d better,” he smiled and they shared a kiss that was quickly interrupted by the door bursting open and Paul and Gina flouncing in with copious shopping bags.

“Hey, we’ve decided to…” Gina’s voice trailed off. “Oh my god, what did you do?”

“I thought it looked bare,” Fenny winced. “Oh, you hate it, don’t you?”

“No, I love it,” Gina smiled. “I’ve been telling Paul to display his awards for ages.”

“Thanks guys, saves me moving furniture,” Paul grinned appearing. “You found my ARIA!” he added, picking up a pointy looking award.

“Glad to be of assistance,” Fenny mused as Paul took a quick look around the room to make sure Troy and Archie hadn’t been manhandled.

“So, what have we decided to do?” Brad asked.

“We’re having a barbie,” Gina perked. “But we don’t actually have a barbecue so can you pop next door and…”

“You’re going to have to face her again one day,” Brad groaned.

“Yes, well, not now,” Gina winced. “Please.”

“I mowed your garden,” Brad pouted as Fenny got to her feet. “I’m tired.”

“We’ve got beer,” Paul called form the kitchen.

“I’ll be right back,” Brad perked, leaping off the couch and disappearing out of the room.

“I have to remember that one, bribing him with beer,” Fenny mused. “You and Paul look happy.”

“Yeah, we are,” Gina nodded. “You’re glowing a bit yourself.”

“Must be the Australian sun,” Fenny shrugged. “You want help with coleslaw or potato salad or something?” she added and headed for the kitchen.

“So see through,” Gina sighed and made her way into the kitchen where Paul was stacking the fridge with beer. “Leave room for food, hey,” she mused, slapping his arse on the way past.

“That buttock is going to be bruised after today,” Paul groused.

“You bought pre-prepared coleslaw?” Fenny asked.

“I can’t be arsed making any from scratch,” Gina shrugged. “Just open it, stick it in a bowl and throw in some coleslaw dressing.”

“Don’t ever have a cooking programme,” Paul laughed. “Just bung it all in together.”

“It’s the Australian way,” Gina chided as Fenny let out a squeal. The bag had opened quickly and the coleslaw was now all over the counter and Fenny’s sneakers.

“Sorry,” Fenny peeped.

“Oh Fen, you broke the coleslaw,” Paul mused.

“Oh, leave me alone,” Fenny groused and lobbed a handful of the grated vegetables at him.

“Hey!” Paul gasped and shook the can of beer in his hand. He smacked it against his thigh and a fountain off beer sprayed out which he pointed in Fenny’s direction. Gina cracked up laughing until he turned it on her and both she and Fenny quickly ganged up to chuck more coleslaw at him.

“Hey I got the…” Brad paused as he reached the kitchen door and looked at the coleslaw-covered, beer-soaked people in the middle of the room. “I leave for five minutes and look what happens!”

“Beer,” Paul giggled and before Brad could do anything he was sprayed with a jet of beer foam.