“I can’t believe we just did that,” Brad mused as he leaned against Gina’s car, pulling Fenny into his arms.

“Well it’s certainly something to write home about,” Fenny smiled as she stood on her toes to kiss him.

Gina unlocked her car and then stopped to study her ring. “Are they…”

“Diamonds? Yeah,” Paul smiled. “Something else to pawn, you know.”

“I want to say something really poignant but I’m speechless,” Gina shrugged.

“There’d be a first,” Fenny teased as she moved her lips from Brad’s for a millisecond.

“Actions speak louder than words,” Brad added breathlessly.

Gina looked at Paul coyly. “Want to consummate the marriage on the bonnet?”

“Usually I would, but we have dinner reservations,” Paul replied and then elbowed Brad as he added through gritted teeth, “Don’t we, Sherwood?”

“What?” Brad mumbled.

“Dinner, the reservations,” Paul sighed.

“Oh yeah, coming,” Brad breathed.

Paul and Gina both started giggling, this caused Fenny to break into giggles and Brad to look bemused at all three of them. “Children,” he smirked.

Gina opened the passenger side door and grabbed two pairs of sandals, passing one to Fenny. Brad and Paul, who were both holding their shoes, put theirs on as well.

“So where is this restaurant, huh?” Fenny asked as she finished doing up the buckle on her sandal.

“There,” Paul announced pointing across the road to a glitzy beachfront eatery.

“What are we waiting for, then? I’m starving,” Fenny declared and grabbed Brad’s hand as she led the way across the road. As they reassembled in the plush lobby, a man with a tripod and black leather camera case appeared.

“Frank, you made it,” Gina perked to Paul and Brad’s surprise.

“Anything for my favorite journo,” Frank smiled. “So where’s the happy couple?”

“Fen, Brad…darling…this is Frank, works at the paper,” Gina smiled. “I just assumed Paul would forget a photographer with his rampant hate of photos and all.”

“I don’t hate photos, just the ones of me,” Paul huffed.

“So, we gonna do this?” Frank asked.

“Yeah, do you mind doing two sets? There’s two happy couples,” Gina said coyly.

“Like I said, anything for my favorite journo,” Frank perked as he started setting up his tripod.

The photos were taken in the lobby. There were shots of each couple, singles, one of Paul and Brad and another of Fenny and Gina. Then they took a few goofy shots with them pretending to be Charlie’s Angels and Brad and Paul acting like catalogue models and Gina and Fenny showing their garters (something their husbands weren’t expecting). After thanking Frank copious times, the four headed into the main restaurant area and were shown to their seats.

“What’s to eat?” Fenny perked as she grabbed a menu and surveyed the contents.

“I have a real craving for ribs, pork ribs,” Brad mused to no one in particular.

“Somehow I don’t think they sell that kind of delicacy here,” Paul jeered as he surveyed the wine list.

“Can I take your order?” asked a young waiter in a shiny blue waistcoat.

“A paddling pool filled with Jello and a bikini each for the wife and her friend,” Brad said with a smirk.

Fenny and Gina looked at each other with pained expressions.

“It’s what you’re paid for isn’t it?” Paul declared with a raised eyebrow.

“Paddling pools, Jello and bikinis? No. Ordering of food from the menu? Certainly,” smiled the waiter.

“I like him,” Gina perked.

“You would,” Paul teased and received and slap on his thigh, which just made him giggle.

“I’ll have the chicken,” Fenny announced, taking it upon herself to order first.

“Steak for me,” Brad piped up.

“And me and the hubby’ll have the fish,” Gina mused.

“How do you know I want fish, huh?” Paul asked.

“Do you want fish?” Gina countered.

“Yes,” Paul replied sheepishly.

The waiter wrote down the orders and then looked back over the table. “And to drink?”

“A bottle of your best wine for me and him and lemonade for the ladies,” Paul declared.

“I’ll be back with your drinks soon,” nodded the waiter and disappeared.

After dinner, dessert and half a bottle of wine between Brad and Paul, things had descended into anecdotes, laughter and Ozzy Osbourne impressions.

“Sharon, Sharon! I fucking love you Sharon, I’ll love you until the amphetamines cause my brain to fucking explode,” Brad announced to Fenny. Fenny cracked up laughing as Brad tried to tongue her ear.

“How much did you two drink before the wedding?” Gina asked.

“Not enough,” Paul mused as he poured another glass of wine. “We’re not stopping you from joining us.”

“Now why would we want to do that?” Gina sighed.

“I’d probably try and jump Paul again, and that wouldn’t be good after only a couple of hours of marriage,” Fenny jeered.

“I was just thinking it’d be nice to celebrate with a proper toast,” Paul huffed.

Gina raised an eyebrow. “You want me to have a drink?”

Paul raised an eyebrow in response. “You do what you like babe.”

Gina grabbed Paul’s glass of wine, pulled it to her lips and sculled it without stopping. She smacked the glass back onto the table and smiled wryly as Paul, Brad and Fenny looked shocked.

“That was so sexy,” Paul breathed.

Gina rolled her eyes. “So what now?”

Paul and Brad shrugged at each other as a man appeared in the small entertainment area. He prattled on for a while about the restaurant and how he hoped they were enjoying their meals. Then he declared that it was time for the weekly karaoke competition. Paul and Brad shot each other a look but then looked back at the stage as a portly businessman started wailing a song no one was quite sure of.

“Make it stop,” Brad whined

“If we can get a bit closer, I’ll take him out with the ice bucket,” Paul nodded, causing Gina and Fenny to break into sniggers.

“So, are you two going to go and show them how it’s done?” Fenny asked.

“As if we’d be so vain,” Paul said innocently.

“You think that’s all we’re good for? Showing up hopeless tryhards?” Brad countered.

Fenny and Gina looked at each other. “Yeah,” they said together.

“I think it would be morally wrong for us to show everyone else up,” Paul stated.

“You wouldn’t do it for me?” Gina pouted.

“Okay,” Paul replied instantly. “Come on Sherwood”

“Do you want me to sing?” Brad asked Fenny.

“Whatever floats your boat,” Fenny teased.

“You’ll keep,” Brad declared with narrowed eyes and then followed Paul.

Fenny took another sip of her lemonade and looked at Gina. “I can’t believe you drank that wine.”

“Please, it’s not the first glass of wine I’ve drunk. There are times as a journalist you have to drink,” Gina mused. “Can you believe I got married, again, to the same man?”

“Can you believe I got married?”

“No, considering he caught you half naked with another man about a day ago.”

“Don’t remind me,” Fenny groaned as she started picking the pins out of her hair.

“Look, they’re on,” Gina smiled.

“God help the audience,” Fenny sighed.

Brad and Paul stood on stage with a microphone each and quickly picked the song they were going to do.

“This one goes out to a couple of very special ladies in the audience,” Paul announced, smiling cheekily.

“And it’s not our moms,” Brad added.

Paul shook his head and then smiled as he started to sing. “It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside, I’m not one of those, who can easily hide.”

“No, people can smell you a mile off,” Brad teased. Paul shot him daggers.

“I don’t have much money, but boy if I did, I’d buy a big house where we both could live.”

“You opening your wallet, ha,” Brad laughed as he moved to centre stage and Paul fell into a sulk.

“If I was a sculptor, but then again no.”

“Couldn’t sculpt his own dick, ladies and gentlemen,” Paul jeered.

“Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show.”

“That’s right, poison the opposition.”

Brad looked miserable but kept singing. “I know it’s not much, but it’s the best I can do, my gift is my song and this one’s for you.”

“Cheap bastard,” Paul declared as he took over centre stage.

“And you can tell everybody, this is your song, it may be quite simple but now that it’s done”

“Bit like the singer,” Brad sniggered.

Paul scowled under his breath, crossed his arms and faced away as Brad took over again. “I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in words.”

“You can write?” Paul gasped before joining in for the next bit.

“How wonderful life is while you’re in the world.”

“Suck,” Brad spat.

“Arse lick,” Paul grumbled and then started acting sheepish. “I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss.” He mimed the moss kicking. “Well a few of the verses, well they’ve got me quite cross.” He stopped and narrowed his eyes.

“Well there’s a big surprise,” Brad sarced and Paul fell into another sulk.

“But the sun’s been quite kind while I wrote this song, it’s for people like you that keep it turned on.” Paul finished with a pelvic thrust.

“PAUL!” Brad gasped and then, looking disgusted, took over. “So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do, you see I’ve forgotten, if they’re green or they’re blue.”

“What?” Paul muttered.

Brad turned away from Paul. “Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean, yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen.”

“Ha, you don’t even remember what fucking colour they are,” Paul spat and pushed his way in front of Brad. “And you can tell everybody, this is your song, it may be quite simple but now that it’s done”

“Like overcooked ham,” Brad perked.

“Idiot,” Paul grumbled.

Brad grinned, pleased with himself, and continued. “I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind”

“What if I do?” Paul huffed and was smacked out of the way by Brad

“That I put down in words”

“You sure you didn’t get help?” Paul cackled, before they sang together.

“How wonderful life is while you’re in the world.”

“I hope you don’t mind,” Paul crooned.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Brad warbled before they finished together and trying their hardest to be serious.

That I put down in words, how wonderful life is while you’re in the world.”

“Last time I fucking sing with you,” Paul huffed.

“At least I sing like a man,” Brad smirked.

Paul’s face went from serious to beaming smile and they both cracked up as the audience applauded.

“ENCORE,” Gina screamed. Fenny cracked up and both of them started thumping the table and demanding an encore.

Paul and Brad looked at each other. “Do you want more?” Paul asked of the audience, who responded with claps and cheers.

“I’m not convinced,” Brad declared. “Are you sure you want more?” he asked; the audience responded louder. They picked their next song and got themselves ready as the music started.

“Tonight I wanna give it all to you, in the darkness there’s so much I wanna do and tonight I wanna lay it at your feet, ‘cause girl, I was made for you and, girl you were made for me,” Paul began, his voice low and husky, before they both belted out the chorus.

“I was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me and I can’t get enough of you baby, can you get enough of me.” Then Brad took over doing his best Gene Simmons impression.

“Tonight, I wanna see it in your eyes, feel the magic, there’s something that drives me wild and tonight we’re gonna make it all come true ‘cause girl, you were made for me and girl, I was made for you.” As they fell into the next chorus they did enough pelvic thrusting to make some of the older members of the audience blush.

“I was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me, and I can’t get enough of you baby, can you get enough of me.” The next chorus Paul did in a register that was high enough to make Brad’s eyes water.

“I was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me, and I can give it all to you baby can you give it all to me.” By the next chorus the audience were clapping and singing along as well.

“I was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me and I can’t get enough of you baby can you get enough of me.”

“I was made,” Brad sang with a pelvic thrust.

“You were made,” Paul added pointing to Gina.

“I can’t get enough,” Brad wailed.

“No I can’t get enough,” Paul added and then they sang the last line together, both panting and sweaty by this point. “I was made for loving you.”

The crowd roared and Brad and Paul took several bows before putting back their microphones and hurrying back to the table.

“Look at them, egos through the roof,” Gina teased as Paul slipped back into his seat.

“I want to see those fat businessmen beat that,” Brad chirped as he stole some of Fenny’s lemonade.

“Hey,” Fenny scorned as Brad put the empty glass back on the table. “So, are we going to leave before someone realises who this pair are?”

“I think that’s probably a good idea,” Gina agreed as she wiped several beads of sweat from Paul’s forehead. Paul gulped down some more wine from the bottle before the four made their way back through the lobby and into the street. Although it was now very dark and the sea had whipped up a breeze, it was still pleasantly warm.

“You know, I only have one regret,” Brad sighed.

“Regret?” Fenny breathed.

“Yeah, I regret I didn’t choose a place with pop-up sprinklers,” Brad smirked.

“Such a sad obsession,” Gina sighed.

“Mate, sure there’s no sprinklers, but there’s an ocean across the road and I can guarantee that’s fairly wet too,” Paul mused.

“No,” Fenny said adamantly as she noticed a wry smile on Brad’s face in the light emanating from the restaurant. “I’m wearing white.”

“Well it wouldn’t be fun if you were in black,” Brad chided and then, before Fenny could protest, swept her into his arms and jogged toward the beach. Gina and Paul looked at each other.

“Wouldn’t catch us carrying on like that,” Paul mused as he slid an arm around her shoulders.

“No, we’re such a reserved couple,” Gina chided as her arms moved around his back and they walked toward the beach.

“BRAD, NO!” Fenny screamed as he walked into the rippling waves without taking his shoes off. The more the water moved up Brad’s legs, the more Fenny tried to cling on, almost wrapping herself around his neck.

“We’ll call it a baptism of our love,” Brad teased.

“You get me wet and I’ll be annulling the marriage in the morning,” Fenny huffed.

“You wouldn’t do that,” Brad said blankly.

“Want to test me?”

“Yep,” Brad grinned and let Fenny drop a little closer to the water.

“NO!” she shrieked and grabbed him tighter again, the water now at his thighs.

Brad laughed. “I think my favorite memory of you is wet.”

“Excuse me?”

“The time I proposed, when we beat the shit out of each other.”

“We lay on that beach for hours trying to get dry,” Fenny sighed, “and all our wounds stung.”

“I knew something was missing,” Brad announced suddenly, like he’d just remembered where he’d put something he’d lost.

“What? Being injured?” Fenny said confused.

“No, Greg. Greg should have been at the wedding.”

“Oh god, are you serious?”

“Of course, I’ll call him when we get home.”

“It’ll be some god awful hour in the morning.”

“Even better,” Brad grinned.

Fenny let out a sigh. “While it’s been nice reminiscing in water, can we go back to the beach now?”

“Hmm,” Brad thought for a second. “No, it’d be wrong for me to have you in this vulnerable position and not use it to my advantage.” He then let himself tip backwards and they both dropped beneath the water. Twenty seconds after they emerged, Brad and Fenny were engaged in a salty, passionate kiss.

“Young people today,” Paul mused as he and Gina sat on the beach and watched Fenny and Brad groping each other.

“Do you remember Brisbane?” Gina asked, resting her head on Paul’s shoulder.

“And Bali,” Paul added with a chuckle.

“Bondi.”

“Brighton was a mistake though.”

“My back has never recovered after those bloody pebbles.”

“Your back? What about me, trying to perform in sub zero temperatures.”

Gina giggled. “Yeah, that was pretty funny.”

“Hey!”

“Seriously for a moment,” Gina announced, all humour leaving her tone. “You’ve never surprised me so much in the entire time I’ve known you, than you have today.”

“I surprised you? I surprised me,” Paul mused. “I’ve doubly committed myself to you, that’s scary.”

“Oh gee thanks.”

“Not that it’s a bad thing,” Paul added quickly. “Speaking of which, I think being twice married now we should move in together.”

“Your place or mine?”

“I own my place,” Paul declared. “No hefty rent.”

“Good point,” Gina smiled and realised she was staring at Paul. “Are you still against having sex with me?”

“Right now?”

“In general.”

Paul raised an eyebrow. “Guess you’ll have to wait and see.”

They leaned in to kiss when Brad shook his wet shirt over them. Gina let out a yelp.

“You’re a deadshit, Sherwood,” Paul announced and leapt to his feet. The pair then went on some insane, Benny Hill-style chase along the beach.

“I’m so glad it’s dark,” Fenny cringed as she tried to hold her dress off her skin.

“Are you?” Gina mused getting to her feet. “Nice hipster, lace reg grundies,” she teased. Fenny’s hand shot to her mouth and she instantly headed to Gina’s car to hide.

A short while later they arrived back at Gina’s. Brad bustled in first and grabbed the phone.

“Who’s he calling?” Paul asked.

“Greg,” Fenny sighed as she headed into the spare room to change.

“Why Greg?” Gina asked.

“I feel he’s missing from our party,” Brad nodded as he waited for Greg to answer.

“What?” Greg’s grumpy voice was heard to say.

“You’ll never believe what we did today?”

“It’s 4am, you think I care.”

“We got married!”

“Married, to what? Who’s we? You and McDermott? Did you marry each other?”

“What? No…”

“Mind you, I wouldn’t mind seeing Gina and Fen together…”

“Do you want me to hang up.”

“Yes.”

“Tough, I’m putting you on speaker phone.” Brad put the phone on speaker.

“I hate you all,” Greg jeered sleepily. “So who got married?”

“Brad and Fen,” Gina piped up.

“And Paul and Gina,” Fenny added, re-entering the room.

“Really? Who would have thought….”

“Yeah, considering Fen had to whittle her lovers down to one,” Paul chided.

“Fenella Grey, since when were you such a cheap whore?”

“Hey, I’m not opposed to hanging up on you Proops,” Fenny sneered.

“Don’t do that, it’s what he wants,” Brad insisted.

“So what possessed this sudden influx of marriage, drunken stupidity? Wanton lust? The chance to be the only non-inbred couples in Australia?” Greg asked.

“A moment of madness,” Brad replied.

“I can believe that.”

“I’m not stupid or mad, I love my wife,” Paul huffed.

“Is Paul on amphetamines?”

“Get fucked, Proops,” Paul spat.

“Well if you didn’t insist on talking to me I might.”

“Oh there’s a mental image to put me off consummating the marriage,” Brad groaned.

Gina and Fenny looked at each other with wry, knowing smiles.

“Oh good,” Greg perked. “Gina, Fen, when having sex, which you inadvertently will, think of me.”

“What, with each other?” Gina asked.

Greg laughed. “Hey, works for me.”

“I think it’s time we let Greg go now,” Brad announced. “Any final words?”

“Congratulations to you all, fuck you for waking me and I’m serious, think of me.”

Brad hung up the phone and looked at it accusingly. “Whose stupid idea was that?” He noticed the other three looking blankly at him. “Oh yeah.”