Gina walked into the police station trying to avoid eye contact with a small group of drug users and prostitutes that were sprawled in the foyer. She marched up to the desk and smiled politely at the officer on duty.
“Can I help you?” he asked.
“Unfortunately yes,” Gina sighed. “I believe you’re holding Misters McDermott and Sherwood. I’ve come to take them back to the sanitarium.”
The officer gave a chuckle. “And you would be?”
“Gina McDermott, Paul’s wife,” Gina replied. “Speaking of which, we can keep this incident to ourselves, right?”
The officer nodded. “Yeah, they have a $500 fine each which needs to be paid before they can leave.”
“He said it was…” Gina cut herself off. “You take VISA?”
“Certainly,” perked the officer as Gina fumbled in her bag for her wallet.
Fenny checked her watch. It was nearly half past two in the morning and she was so bored she was almost comatose. She was curled up on some exquisite couch in a huge house in what was clearly a very posh area. Andy had spent the entire night chatting about work and how wonderful President Bush was, while she had been stuck in some absurd conversation with a bunch of bleached, plastic women with manicured nails about the new range of clothes by some fashion designer she’d never heard of and couldn’t have given a toss about. Fenny checked her watch again and then got to her feet.
“I’m just going to get some fresh air,” she announced and headed for the large, glass sliding doors that led to the luxurious back garden. Fenny headed for the most secluded area, over by the swimming pool which looked more than inviting as the lights bounced off the still water. Not only was she bored, but she was extremely jetlagged as well. Fenny slipped off her shoes and socks and sat herself on the side of the pool as she rolled up her pants and let her feet dangle in the water. It was the most relaxed she felt in hours and was a damn sight more interesting than talking about the “bohemian look.”
“You’re missing out on a fabulous conversation about having diamantes put on your new, oyster pink manicured nails,” a voice announced.
Fenny jumped and had to stop herself from falling in the water. “Danny,” she gasped, remembering the man she’d met at the airport. He had lost the suit from the previous day and was sporting a bright Hawaiian shirt and long shorts. He was barefoot and clutching a beer bottle in one hand.
“Hey, you remembered. Fenny isn’t it?” Danny smiled as he sat himself next to her and let his feet fall into the water.
“That’s right,” Fenny nodded.
“Your boyfriend is a prick,” Danny declared, gesturing with his beer.
“Gee, thanks.”
“He forgot you existed at the airport. I’ve spent nearly all day with him and he hasn’t even mentioned you, and he’s making you stay here when clearly there are things you’d rather be doing. If I wasn’t working with the guy I’d go home.”
“He’s just trying to be professional,” Fenny shrugged.
“Professional? Do you know who he got arrested today? Paul McDermott and that guy from that show…Whose Line…Brad Sherwood.”
Fenny felt her heart beat just that little bit faster at the mention of Brad’s name. “I told him off about that.”
“It’ll probably be all over the paper by tomorrow,” Danny sighed. “Fucking yank.”
“Thanks.”
“No, you’re ok. Just him.”
Fenny couldn’t hide a smile. “It won’t hit the papers if Gina has anything to do with it.”
“Gina? You know Coleman?”
“Yeah? You?”
“Yeah, we worked together at the SMH,” Danny mused. “I was a journo before I took up this job.”
“Why’d you change?”
“More money,” Danny replied. “So what do you do? I’d ask Andy but his head’s so far up his own arse he wouldn’t reply.”
“I have my own graphic design business, although technically I’m just a struggling artist.”
“Cool, I was always going to do a life drawing class. I was going through a lonely time and I couldn’t afford porn”
“That’s not what a life drawing class is about,” Fenny scorned. “Besides, I got transgender pierced people.”
Danny cringed. “Are we talking about Andy again?”
Fenny giggled and slapped his arm. The beer slipped and slowly sunk to the bottom of the pool as its amber liquid bubbled out.
“MY BEER,” Danny yelled. “You’ll have to go and save it.”
“Like hell, I’m not jumping in there,” Fenny gasped.
“Well it’s your fault my beer is now at the bottom of the pool.”
“Actually, only the bottle is at the bottom of the pool,” Fenny teased as she got to her feet. “You could just get another one.”
Danny got to his feet as well, looking considerably heartbroken. “Do you think Andy would be pissed if you got wet?”
“Considerably,” Fenny sighed and then before she could do anything Danny had swooped her up into his arms and was dangling her precariously over the pool. “Don’t you dare,” she giggled.
“I’m sorry, but I have to. You destroyed my beer.” And with that he let her go and she fell with a large “KERSPLASH” into the chlorinated water. Danny cackled and dived in as well.
Gina stood, arms folded, as she waited impatiently for Paul and Brad to be brought through. When they finally appeared, they both looked red-eyed and seedy. Paul’s shirt was stained with various slops of alcohol. Both looked like they’d been sleeping on a park bench.
“You really want to use my testicles as furry dice right now, don’t you,” Paul announced sheepishly.
“You don’t want to know what I want to do right now,” Gina scowled as she led them outside. “You smell like you’ve been swimming in a urinal, the pair of you.”
“And it’s nice to see you too,” Brad grinned stupidly.
“You are so lucky this won’t get into the papers,” Gina hissed.
“I’ve had worse,” Paul shrugged.
“Speaking of worse,” Gina spat as she stopped and turned to Paul. “You guys owe me $500 each for your fines.”
“Yes, okay, just fucking calm down, will you,” Paul scorned as Gina unlocked her car. Brad fell into the back and lay along the seat, and Paul slid into the passenger seat. Gina started the engine and the radio came on blaring, Paul let out a yelp and turned it down. They drove in silence for a while, Gina and Paul giving each other sideways glances and Brad seemingly having fallen into another comatose state.
“If Freya hates your drinking, she is going to kill you,” Gina breathed.
“I know, she’s gonna go apeshit,” Paul sighed.
“I only went apeshit once, in Edinburgh.”
“I deserved it though.”
“Yeah, you certainly did,” Gina nodded.
Paul gave her a wry smile and she felt any anger toward him disappear instantly. She was annoyed one smile could make her so weak. She began to slow the car as they approached Paul’s apartment block, until she found somewhere to park.
“I feel I should say good luck,” she mused.
“I’m a deadshit,” Paul grumbled and rubbed his face.
“Well, if it’s any help, I managed to pull on one of your shirts. We can do a swap?” Gina offered. “At least you’ll smell a bit better.”
Paul looked at Gina and then glanced down. He hadn’t even noticed. “You’re a godsend.”
“Yeah, not everyday your wife helps you with your girlfriend,” Gina sighed as she unclipped her seatbelt and then quickly removed the shirt. Paul was still quite bleary-eyed, and Gina reached over to help him get his shirt off, teasingly letting her fingers touch his bare skin.
“This is vile,” she announced as she slipped on his beer soaked shirt.
“I’m indebted to you forever,” Paul declared and he reached behind to hit Brad on the arm.
Brad let out a groan. “Are we here?”
“Yeah, get your arse out of the car,” Paul ordered then turned back to Gina who was trying not to inhale the stench from his shirt. “Thankyou for saving us, and the shirt. I’ll drop a cheque off tomorrow.” He leaned over and pecked her on the cheek, then slid out of the car.
Gina watched as he and Brad headed for the entrance and then started the engine again. Her heart leaping and falling in the space of half a second, she hoped Freya gave him hell.
Fenny climbed out of the pool and fell onto its paved surroundings. “I got the bottle, I win.”
“It’s a stubbie woman,” Danny jeered as he clambered out of the pool.
“Stubbie, bottle, who gives a shit,” Fenny panted and burst into giggles.
Danny started to snicker as he unbuttoned his shirt and started to wring the water out of it. Fenny couldn’t help but notice that not only did he have a gorgeous tan, but a great body to go with it.
“Don’t tell me you’re a gym junkie,” she announced as she attempted to dry her glasses.
“Occasionally. I play in a local footy team, and none of this poxy yank footy either. Hardcore, full on Aussie Rules.”
“I’ll just pretend I care,” Fenny mused as Danny’s sopping shirt landed on her head.
“You want thrown back in that pool?” Danny teased as he helped Fenny to her feet and then grabbed her again.
“No,” Fenny giggled.
“What the hell is going on?”
“Andy, shit,” Fenny gasped as Danny placed her back on the ground.
“What are you doing? You’re soaking and cavorting with…”
“Danny,” he shrugged, fighting a smile, while Fenny was fighting giggles.
“I dropped his beer.”
“I don’t care what you did,” Andy snapped and then hushed his voice as he noticed people coming to see what was going on. “You’ve totally embarrassed me, we’re leaving.”
“About time,” Fenny mumbled as Andy grabbed her hand. “Later,” she added to Danny as she was led toward the side gate, Andy not wanting any further humiliation.
Paul unlocked the door to his apartment and put his finger to his lips to hush Brad who wasn’t talking anyway. They crept inside but Freya was already waiting there, arms crossed and a furious expression on her face.
“Hey baby,” Paul cooed, attempting to act like nothing was wrong.
“Where have you been?” Freya hissed.
“Brad, this is Brad,” Paul announced pointing to Brad.
“Hi,” Brad smiled and waved.
“Brad invited me for a little drink.”
Freya marched over and looked at Paul disgustedly. “You stink,” she scorned. “You promised me you wouldn’t drink anymore.”
“It was one…”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses, Paul. I’m disgusted with you, and I certainly don’t want you anywhere near me, and who is he?” she snapped, motioning to Brad.
“He’s a friend and he’s staying here,” Paul replied, the tension growing in his voice.
“You could have asked me,” she scorned.
“I don’t remember this being your apartment,” Paul snapped.
Freya looked at him venomously and stormed into the bedroom. She returned with a blanket and pillow and chucked them at him before she stormed back into the bedroom and slammed the door.
“Well, that went well,” Brad sighed.
“Fuck,” Paul groaned.
“Gina would have let you in bed and given you a blowjob,” Brad mused as he headed for the spare room.
“Get stuffed,” Paul scowled and lobbed a cushion at him, which ended up knocking over a stack of CDs.
Fenny woke to the sound of rushing water and strained her eyes open; without her glasses and half-asleep she managed to find it was 7:30am. After the late night it was an insane hour, but it was a considerable sleep in for Andy, who was usually up an hour earlier. He reappeared from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and started hunting out clothes.
“You’re not going to laze in bed all day, are you?” he asked, still sounding miffed.
“No, I just need a decent amount of sleep first,” Fenny yawned.
“I’ve told you, you should get up the same time everyday. You’ll feel a lot better for it.”
“Maybe tomorrow.”
Andy let out a sigh as he pulled on his slacks and tucked his shirt in. “I’m leaving you my credit card, I want you to go out and buy something nice, ok?”
“Okay, sweetie.”
“I’m serious,” Andy huffed as he sat himself on the bed near Fenny.
“I know,” she replied and propped herself up on the pillow. “And I’m sorry for humiliating you last night, it was just a bit of fun,” she added and cupped his face in her hands.
“Dammit, you’re too sexy for me to stay angry with,” Andy cooed and brought his lips to hers. They shared a brief kiss before he grabbed his jacket and briefcase and walked out of the hotel room. Fenny fell back onto the pillows and grabbed the phone; she dialled Gina’s number and waited.
“Hello,” Gina said wearily.
“Hey kiddo,” Fenny perked.
“Do you know what time it is?”
“Yeah, but Andy woke me and there’s no way in hell I’ll get back to sleep.”
“Doesn’t matter, I’ve got work anyway, I sucked up big time to my old boss.”
“That’s great!”
“Yeah, just keep telling me that. Oh hey, you’ll never guess who I had to bail out at 2am this morning.”
“Paul and Brad.”
“Yeah. How did you know? Please tell me it wasn’t Andy who called the police.”
“Okay, I won’t.”
“What a fucking prick.”
“Were they ok?” Fenny asked, not wanting to fall into another conversation about Andy.
“Yeah, apart from being quite odorous and seedy.”
“That pair shouldn’t be allowed out in society.”
“On the upside, you’ll be pleased to know Brad is looking gorgeous and I found an excuse to get Paul’s shirt off.”
“I wasn’t going to ask about Brad.”
“Course not.”
“How did you get Paul’s shirt off?”
“I swapped shirts with him, I was wearing one of his anyway, not that you can tell sometimes.”
“Why did you do that?”
“Freya doesn’t like him drinking.”
“You know, I’ve not met the woman and already I don’t like her.”
“No sense of humour.”
“Speaking of that, Andy dragged me to some god awful get-together and I ran into an old friend of yours.”
“Friend or lover?”
“I don’t know. Danny Brannigan.”
“Danny, oh my god, there’s a blast from the past.”
“So lover or friend?”
“Friend.”
“There’d be a first.”
“Okay, see, I’m going to have to hang up on you now.”
“No don’t, are you busy during you lunch hour?”
“I doubt it, why?”
“Andy wants me to buy some ‘nice’ clothes, and I could do with some help.”
“I’ll just end up wanting to throttle you.”
“Please, I’ll buy lunch.”
“Okay, okay, call me when you want to go and we’ll meet.”
“Thanks.”
Brad had scoured the entire kitchen for food and eventually settled on toast, with wheat-free bread and sugar-free strawberry jam. It tasted like shit and he was seriously considering going out for breakfast when Freya appeared. She was dressed in a black power suit with an impossibly short skirt.
“Morning,” he announced wearily.
“Morning,” she said briskly as she grabbed half a grapefruit from the fridge. “So what are you doing here, Brad?”
“I’m on holiday, catching up with a few old friends,” Brad replied, deciding he simply couldn’t eat the toast.
“Have you seen…” Both Freya and Brad paused as a groan and then a thump came from the living room. Paul had obviously woken and fallen off the couch. He appeared thirty seconds later scratching his stubble and looking decidedly ill.
“Morning,” he grumbled.
“Morning,” Brad mused.
Freya glared at him and he suddenly remembered why he’d been on the couch in the first place.
“Baby, I’m sorry about last night,” Paul breathed, trying to take her in his arms. She backed away a little.
“I feel very hurt,” Freya pouted.
Brad looked at his toast and decided to attempt it again.
“I didn’t do it to hurt you, it was just a bit of fun with Brad,” Paul cooed, slipping one hand onto her waist. “It won’t happen again.”
“Promise?” Freya breathed, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Promise,” Paul smiled as they fell into a slow kiss.
Brad dropped his toast again and grabbed the paper to distract himself while Paul and Freya groped. A few moments later she pulled away and grabbed her bag.
“Meet me for lunch,” she ordered.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Paul mused as she gave him a smile as she left.
“Well you’re Mister Smooth, aren’t you,” Brad teased.
“Thank Christ,” Paul sighed, falling into a chair. He screwed up his nose at the grapefruit in front of him.
“This might seem like a strange request, but can we please go out for breakfast?” Brad asked.
“That’s what I do everyday,” Paul smiled cheekily. “I’ll just have a shower and change and then I know where we can get the best bacon sandwiches this side of the Harbour.”
“Well hurry up then before I have to actually eat this shit,” Brad scowled at his toast.
Gina arrived at work and felt a comforting sense of familiarity. She was greeted by several old acquaintances and then ran straight into Max.
“Coleman,” he grumbled.
“Good morning,” she smiled.
“As much as it pains me, it’s nice to have you back and in an area that is less likely to have us sued – entertainment,” Max jeered.
“The thrill is all mine,” Gina mused. “Okay if I head down there now?”
“Go ahead,” Max nodded.
Gina headed down the corridor, humming to herself as she entered the cluttered partitioned cubicles that made up the entertainment section of the newspaper.
“Gina,” a familiar voice perked. It was Amanda, the entertainment editor who’d sent her to interview Paul in the first place.
“Mandy,” Gina grinned. “You still here?”
“I’ll die at my desk, you know that,” Amanda teased as she lead Gina into her office. “I’m so happy you’re back, you should see what they’ve been sending me.”
“Not more hopeless graduates?”
“Them and some,” Amanda sighed. “So, you still with a certain to die for Aussie comedian.”
“Let’s just say it’s in the hands of the gods,” Gina breathed.
They both jumped, as there was a knock at the door. “Come in,” Amanda ordered. Gina looked up and nearly died. Amanda caught the look on Gina’s face and took note to ask about it later.
“Freya, what can I do for you?”
“I was told there was an exhibition that you wanted me to check out,” Freya replied and caught sight of Gina. “Oh hi,” she added.
“You work here?” Gina asked, her thoughts coming out as words accidentally.
“Yes, and now a familiar face, thank god,” Freya smiled.
Gina gave a pained laugh and got to her feet. “I’ll go and find my desk.”
“Oh wait a sec and I’ll show you,” Amanda offered.
“No, no…I want to spend some quality time bashing my head against it,” Gina breathed and left.
Fenny had finally gotten herself dressed and was collecting her things together before she went for breakfast when she heard the hotel door unlock. She was suspecting a maid or Andy but nearly toppled over when Danny appeared.
“Shit, sorry,” he gasped, slightly embarrassed.
“It’s ok, I’m not naked or anything,” Fenny mused.
“Andy forgot a folder, ordered me to come and get it,” he explained.
“Folder,” Fenny breathed. “Oh, this one I imagine,” she added, grabbing a blue folder from under a chair.
“Thank you. I think he’s still narked with me about last night.”
“He’ll get over it.”
“You’d think he’s caught us fucking on a banana lounge the way he carried on.”
Fenny giggled. “Well that would have been something to talk about.”
Danny looked at her strangely and then started giggling too. “You had breakfast?” he asked, regaining his composure.
“No, just about to,” Fenny replied.
“Come on, I know a great little place,” he perked and opened the door.
“What about Andy’s folder?”
“He’s so busy having his butt kissed by a bunch of yes men he won’t notice if I take a while,” Danny grinned.
Fenny thought for about a second, grabbed her bag and followed him out.