“Y’know, I never expected to be back here so soon,” Fenny mused as Gina unlocked her apartment door.

“You and me both,” Gina sighed, dropping her case in the hall.

“Then why are we?” Fenny asked as she followed Gina into the small kitchen.

“Because you fucked a surfie and my husband is a goit,” Gina replied.

“Hey, I could have tormented myself without coming to Sydney, you know,” Fenny countered.

Gina let out a heavy sigh. “I’m putting the kettle on, do me a favour and pop next door and borrow some milk.”

“Sure,” Fenny nodded.

“And when I say next door I mean the other next door. Not Moonstar, she only drinks soy,” Gina ordered.

“Right,” Fenny mused and left the kitchen.

Gina grabbed two mugs from the cupboard and placed a teabag in each. The kettle made its familiar low rumblings as she wandered into the bedroom. Expecting to see it in an upset state, she was surprised to see the bed made. Gina felt the temptation was to just crawl beneath the covers and hide away from everything. All her problems seemed to be peaking and she was beginning to feel stir crazy. There was Greg back in the States, who had given up everything for her. Fenny and her screwed up relationship with Brad. Well, technically it wasn’t screwed up, Fenny just needed to grow a spine. There was also the fact she still didn’t have a job. Her recent expenses were totally crippling her finances. Then, there was Paul. Paul who she so desperately wanted to be with, but who she so successfully managed to fuck things up with every time.

Gina was jolted out of her thought by the squeal of the kettle. She turned to leave the room when something caught her eye. The light was bouncing off something shiny beneath the bed. She got down on her hands and knees and reached under the bed. What she found surprised her more than Fenny’s fling with a surfie.

Brad woke to the sounds of morning television. He was sprawled on the couch, still fully dressed. He even had his shoes on. All he could remember was getting home, putting Lilly to bed and sitting down to watch television. He sat up and stretched his back and cracked his neck. Sleeping on the couch was not one of his most comfortable activities, and he knew he was going to regret it for days. He got to his feet as there was a knock at the door. He staggered over and quickly ran his fingers through his hair.

“Good morning,” Ella perked as he opened the door.

“Hi,” he managed.

“You look terrible,” she gasped.

“Spent the night on the couch.” He yawned and moved aside to let her in.

“See, I told you being a parent is hard,” she mused.

“It’s kinda fun too, especially when Ryan Stiles takes your child to introduce to the entire abc workforce,” Brad perked. “Coffee?”

“I’ll make you one,” Ella smiled as she followed him into the kitchen. “So, how has she been?”

“Near perfect. She’s teething a bit.”

“Oh, she didn’t keep you up, did she?” Ella said apologetically as she began to make the coffee.

“Who Lilly, no,” he jeered, then yawned and rubbed his stubble.

“Aw, look, maybe I’ll just grab Lilly and go. You look like you could do with a few extra hours,” she soothed, rubbing Brad’s arm.

“It’s not a problem, really.”

“I insist,” she chirped and headed toward the bedroom. Lilly woke instantly and gave her mother a broad smile. Ella sauntered over and picked her daughter up and covered her in kisses. Brad leaned wearily against the doorframe. He wasn’t sure if he felt a stab of jealousy that Lilly loved her mom so much, or guilt that it wasn’t Fenny in front of him, taking their child in her arms.

Fenny wandered back into the apartment and found Gina leaning against the sink toying with something in her fingers.

“What’s intriguing you?” Fenny asked, placing the carton of milk she’d been given on the table.

“My wedding ring,” Gina replied, handing Fenny the silver, Celtic ring.

“Wow, that’s really pretty. Why the freaked out look on your face?” Fenny asked as she handed it back.

“Because, my dear Fen,” Gina mused as she poured the milk into the tea. “When Paul left me, I chucked it out of the window.”

“So where did you find it?”

“Under my bed.”

“Ok, that’s slightly creepy,” Fenny agreed and grabbed her mug as they headed into the living room. Both women placed their mugs on the coffee table and flumped on the couch.

“You gonna put it on?” Fenny asked, watching Gina who still hadn’t taken her eyes off the ring.

“I don’t know,” Gina replied. “Would you?”

“I think Paul might think I was freaky.”

“You know what I mean.”

Fenny leaned back into the cushions. “Kiddo, would I have taken it off?”

“Ok, point taken,” Gina sighed.

“Actually, I’ve got a question to ask you,” Fenny perked.

“Um, ok,” Gina said curiously.

“Remember when we first met and there was one night we were chatting in my hotel room. You told me your husband was a journalist and your affair was with an entertainer,” Fenny said, narrowing her eyes.

“Yeah, sorry…. We didn’t really know each other and I did that for two reasons. (a) He’s a celebrity, I couldn’t just go round telling everyone, and (b) I feel less bad if I say I cheated on the journo,” Gina replied pointedly.

“You’re so strange,” Fenny sighed.

“So Fenella, why did you fuck a surfie, huh?” Gina piped up.

“God, I don’t know,” Fenny groaned and grabbed a cushion to bury her face in. “I met him at the beach, it was raining. We went back to his place and the next thing I know we’re doing the horizontal tango.”

“Are you going to tell Brad?”

Fenny shrugged.

“Shall I answer for you, oh spineless one?” Gina jeered.

“Rather spineless than stubborn,” Fenny quipped.

“Excuse me,” Gina gasped.

“Do you even know why you’re angry with Paul? I mean really Gina, get over it,” Fenny scorned.

“He said he didn’t need me,” Gina huffed.

“And did he apologize?”

“A few times,” Gina mumbled.

“So the problem is?” Fenny sighed.

“Man, he even said he loved me…he said he loved me…and I didn’t even…crap,” Gina cussed and smacked herself in the head.

Fenny laughed and then let out another sigh. “I miss Brad.”

Gina looked at her dejectedly. “I miss my Pauly.”

“We’re pathetic,” Fenny giggled.

“You’re not wrong. We need to put things into perspective,” Gina announced. “What is it you love about Brad?”

“Well he’s incredibly funny, and he’s so sweet. Like when he leaves me little notes. Oh and he’s romantic, he’s always leaving me roses everywhere.”

“And?”

“That goofy smile, I love the goofy smile. And he has the greatest ass…and the way he kisses…”

“If you get into his love making style, I’m throwing my tea over you.”

“You know it hasn’t helped, I miss him more now,” Fenny whined. “So, why do you love Pauly?”

For once Gina seemed reluctant, if not embarrassed. “Well, that uniquely demented sense of humour, the gorgeous singing voice…And before you ask, yes I have been serenaded.”

“Keep going,” Fenny smiled.

“He has the sexiest eyes, totally do me in if he looks at me pathetically. And that thing he does with his pelvis when he’s dancing…”

“Anything that’s not going to lead us into the smut? Do you prefer him as the bastard or the sweetheart?”

“Oh gee, I like both. But the bastard is a total turn on, or that could just be me. You know what I love most though?” Gina sighed.

“That thing he does with his tongue?” Fenny mused.

Gina looked at her strangely. “I’m not going to ask how you know that. No, his intelligence. I swear the man knows everything.”

“Why do I have an image of you screaming during sex, ‘READ ME THE BUSINESS SECTION’,” Fenny giggled.

Gina cracked up as well. “Right, ok, that’s why we love them. Next issue, what’s fucked things up?”

“My fiancée has fathered a child with another woman,” Fenny sighed.

“And how has this upset your relationship?” Gina asked, suddenly falling into interview mode.

“Well Miss Cole…Mrs McDermott…No, that just sounds weird…”

“Just answer the fucking question.”

“Sorry. Had he not insisted on treating me so badly and just told me, I might have felt slightly less pissed. I’m finding it very hard to accept that I’m not his main priority, no matter how selfish that sounds. I also don’t know if I could handle being a stepmom to Lilly,” Fenny breathed.

“I never thought of that,” Gina sighed. “Now you’ve just got to tell Brad that.”

“Easier said than done,” Fenny mumbled. “Your turn.”

“Well, a lover has left his wife for me.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

“It freaks me out.”

“Do you love him?” Fenny asked.

“I think I did. I mean, Greg and I, there’s no denying there is an attraction, but I miss the friendship, the cheeky banter. All we do now is have sex. It’s hardly the basis for a relationship. Greg is everything a woman could want, which I find nothing short of smothering. They say it’s never the same after friends have sex and it’s true.”

“So what’s the difference with Paul?” Fenny queried.

“I married him,” Gina smiled and slid the ring onto her finger.

Brad pulled the pillow over his head and prayed the phone would stop ringing. Eventually he gave up and answered it.

“Yes,” he mumbled sleepily.

“Crap, I forgot the time difference,” Fenny cussed.

“Fen?”

“No, the mysterious Norwegian goddess Felga.”

Brad gave a tired laugh. “Don’t be humorous when I’m sleepy.”

“Sorry. Is Lilly still there?”

“No, Ella picked her up this morning.”

“How was she the rest of the time?” she asked.

“Yeah, she was good,” he replied. “How are you?”

“Missing you like crazy.”

“So come home.”

“Brad, I have to tell you something.”

“Oh, sounds serious.”

“It is.”

He sat up in bed and reached for the lamp. “Go on.”

“There’s no easy way to say this.”

“So say it.”

“I fucked a surfer.”

“You did what?”

“You heard. I was emotional and vulnerable…I’m so sorry.” Fenny cringed as Brad went silent. “Well, say something, please.”

“I don’t know what to say,” he mumbled. “Why are you telling me?”

“Because I love you and I couldn’t live with the guilt.”

“Shit.”

She wiped the tears that had begun to roll down her cheeks. “I’m such an idiot.”

“You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“I shouldn’t think so.”

“Then I’m still the bigger idiot.”

Fenny couldn’t speak. He was almost forgiving her, and she didn’t deserve it.

“Fen, it’s late, I’m half asleep. Let’s wait until you get back here and we’ll talk.”

“Ok,” she managed to breathe.

“Get back soon, I miss you like crazy too.”

The phone clicked and she dropped it onto the bed. She had been expecting yelling and screaming and what did she get—that he missed her. Brad was too sweet for his own good and for the first time she felt like she didn’t deserve him.

Gina lay on the couch watching a tape of The Big Gig, a television show that Paul used to be on in the 80s. She had concluded there was nothing funnier than Paul with a stiletto down his pants. She was giggling away when the door clicked open. Gina flicked the stop button and pretended to watch a home renovations programme on cable. She looked out of the corner of her eye to see Paul looking knackered, dropping his bag on the floor. He wandered over to the couch as Gina sat up, and he fell onto it next to her.

“Taxi drivers are scary at this time of night,” he announced.

“That’s why I drive,” Gina declared and, despite telling herself she wouldn’t look, caught his eye. “Hard day?”

“Yeah, started with my wife cracking the shits,” he yawned.

“She had her reasons,” she countered.

“I seriously didn’t mean it, I knew it would piss you off. You know what I’m like.”

“That’s why I know you meant it. Admit it, you’re pissed with me.”

“I’m hurt, there’s a difference. Genie, I don’t have the energy to do this anymore. If you want Proops, then by all means, go be with him. I’m not going to stop you. But if you really want this marriage to work, I mean really work, then stop running away and tell me what the fuck is wrong?” Paul declared.

“Fen and I spent the day analyzing our relationships, you’d think it’d make things easier,” Gina mused and then turned serious. “When I told Greg about having an ex-husband, I told him that I realised when the divorce papers came through that I loved him. I mean really loved him.”

“Gee, this ex-husband sounds like a great guy,” he mused.

“Greg was there when I needed to be loved and I was there for him. But I told him from the start, a relationship would never work, and I’m trying so hard to get through to him without hurting him,” she breathed.

“So, what, this whole Greg thing is why you left Melbourne after only a couple of weeks?” he asked.

“No, I didn’t even think about Greg. I was terrified you were going to wake up one day and decide you were happier without me.”

“Ahh, and I said…” Paul muttered. “Have I done anything to even suggest I was happier alone?”

“I’m such an idiot,” Gina sighed and caught his eye again.

“Yes, yes you are,” he agreed. She tried to fight a smile, he raised an eyebrow. “Let it out or it’ll kill ya.”

“I’m sorry for overreacting,” she declared and slid her hand into his.

“You’re forgiven, just don’t do it again,” he mused. “Shit, it’s past midnight,” he added, noting the time on the VCR.

“Time flies when your analyzing your relationship,” Gina mused.

“Do you know what today is?” Paul asked, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it softly.

She looked at him blankly. “Thursday?”

“You have no idea, do you?” he gasped.

She ran through countless things in her mind, it wasn’t his birthday, that was in May, it wasn’t her birthday, not a public holiday… “Oh my god,” she breathed.

“Happy anniversary,” he mused.

“I can’t believe I forgot,” she scorned.

“Can we just enjoy the fucking moment?” he chided.

She giggled and then tilted her head up so he could kiss her. She felt his warm breath on her lips when a door banged and they both looked up.

“HE FUCKING FORGAVE ME,” Fenny snapped and flumped next to Paul on the couch.

“I’ll put the kettle on,” he announced and hurried out of the room.